Man Refuses to Loan Brother Money After He Embarrasses Him in Front of the Family, Family Favoritism Becomes Clear When They Take His Side

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    r/AITAH 4 hr. ago Wildflower Queen AITA for Not Lending My Brother Money After He Embarrassed Me in Front of Our Family?
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    My older brother, Jake, and I have a complicated relationship. He's two years older and always been the loud, confident one in the family, while I'm more reserved. Jake loves to joke around and tease, especially when he's in a big group. He always says he's "just joking," but often, his jokes cut a bit too deep, especially when they're aimed at me.
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    Last month, our family had a big dinner-parents, grandparents, a few aunts and uncles. Everything was fine until Jake started talking about my career. I work in a steady but not particularly high- paying job that I'm proud of, and I work hard. But Jake decided to turn it into a joke. He laughed and said, "You know, people with
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    ambition don't work jobs like that,” and added, "You must really not care about getting ahead." He kept going, making comments that painted me as lazy and unmotivated.
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    Jake looked around to get others laughing along with him, and he succeeded. My parents laughed, brushing it off as "classic Jake," saying, "That's just how he jokes." But I was embarrassed. It wasn't just a playful jab-it felt like he was putting down something I genuinely care about, in front of everyone. I didn't say anything at the time, but it stuck with me.
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    Fast forward to now, and Jake's in a financial bind. He called me last week, explaining he's struggling to pay some bills and asked if he could borrow money. He said he'd pay me back when he could, but he was in a tight spot. Normally, I'd say yes because he's my brother, and family is family, right? But I couldn't shake the
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    memory of that dinner. I told him I wasn't comfortable lending him money after how he treated me.
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    Jake got really upset and called me petty, saying I was holding a grudge over "a stupid joke." He said I was being too sensitive and needed to "get over it" because family should help each other. When I explained that his comments had hurt me, he dismissed it, saying I was "taking things too seriously" and that I
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    "needed to toughen up." He acted like it was no big deal and that I was being dramatic for even bringing it up.
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    Now, my parents are involved. They think I should help him because "that's what family does." They keep saying I'm making a big deal out of a misunderstanding and that I shouldn't "let something so small" drive a wedge between us. But to me, it wasn't small. Jake humiliated me, and I don't think
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    he even realizes—or cares-how much he hurt me.
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    So now I'm torn. I don't want to cause a family rift, but I also feel like he's only interested in my support when it benefits him. Part of me thinks I should let it go and help him out, but another part thinks I deserve a little respect if I'm going to lend him my hard- earned money.
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    AITA for not wanting to lend him money after what happened?
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    Secure_Ship_3407 •4h ago. Tell your parents they need to help him or tell him to ask mommy and daddy. He's their child, not yours. Tell him the jokes on him now.
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    gastropod43 4h ago • Explain to him that what he should have said at the party is that he is a big loser that needs to borrow money from you.
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    He is a bully, probably always was and family enables him. Not lending him money is his reward.
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    ameasuredrespo... •4h ago. NTA. "I can't afford to give him money with my dead- end job that shows a lack of ambition. Coincidentally, mom and dad, please lend me $25,000 because I am lacking money."
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    West_Environm... 4h ago If "that's what family does", then uh oh! They're family! NTA -
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    Tumbleweed_Jim • 4h ago NTA No is a complete sentence and nothing good ever comes lending money to people who belittle you and dismiss your feelings.
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    TheDemonOfFe... 4h ago • Tell Jake to go jump in the river.

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