'You didn't sign up to be a hotel': Free-spirit couple with 5 and 7-year-old kids sells their home to take "extended vacation," begs brother for help

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 13, 2024 3:00 PM EST

If you suddenly showed up at your sibling's home and asked to live with them for 10 months, it would make things awkward, that's for certain. You can't just ask someone to live with them for that long without having a big discussion about what it would mean for you both. And this woman isn't just asking her brother to stay there alone… she wants to bring her entire family, including her two young children. 

While we always want to be there for the family members we adore, living with someone is a whole other ball game. This guy has his own home that he's spent a decade paying off. Now suddenly, his younger sister is begging to move in with him because of her own ill-fated adventures. She was living the dream: she sold her family's home in order to travel full-time. While many of us dream of doing things like that, there's a reason most people can't. It's just too expensive to maintain. The sister found this out within just two months of her perma-vacation… but should her brother really be expected to house his sister just because she intentionally chose to give up her house? Check out the full story below and see if you agree with commenters telling this guy to avoid housing her and possibly even cut her off. 

Up next, read about the drama that one stage mom started when she decided to divorce her long-distance husband over email, while also CC'ing his entire family, friend group, and workplace.

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    Gabby
    via Devon Daniel on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for Refusing to Let My Sister's Family Live in My House After They Sold Theirs for a "Dream Vacation"?
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 03
    So, I (32M) own a modest three- bedroom house that I've been paying off for the last ten years. It's nothing fancy, but it's mine, and I'm proud of it. My sister (29F) and her husband (31M) are the typical free-spirited types.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 04
    They've always talked about quitting the rat race, living life to the fullest, all that. Well, a few months ago, they finally did it— they sold their house during a booming market, thinking the profit would fund a year-long break to travel.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 05
    They believed they could stretch the money by traveling cheaply, staying in hostels or Airbnbs, and getting by with occasional odd jobs. At first, they stayed in nicer places and ate out a lot, thinking they had plenty of cushion, but within two months, they were out of money. They underestimated how quickly expenses would pile up, especially with two young kids (7F and 5M) to feed and care for.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 06
    Now that their funds are drained, they've decided to stop full-time travel but don't want to settle down yet. Instead, they asked to live with me, rent-free, for the next 10 months while they "figure things out." They say they'll still try to take some occasional trips if they find super cheap deals, but for the most part, they want to stay at my house.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 07
    I told them no. My house isn't big enough, I don't want the disruption, and I certainly don't think it's fair for them to live off me because their plan failed. I offered to help them find an affordable rental or even cover part of their expenses for a couple of months so they could get back on their feet, but that wasn't enough. My sister blew up at me, calling me selfish and accusing me of being jealous of their "adventurous lifestyle."
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 08
    To make it worse, my parents are siding with her, saying that family should help family and that I'm being too rigid. The thing is, my parents live in a small apartment and can't take in my sister's family, which is probably why they're pushing it on me. They say I don't understand the "value of experiences" and that I should be more supportive. Some of our mutual friends are also saying I should be more understanding, but I think it's completely
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 09
    unreasonable to expect me to house their whole family for nearly a year just because they didn't plan properly. AITAH?
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 10
    bythebrook88 They say I don't understand the "value of experiences" Tell them you don't 'value the experience' of have freeloaders in your house indefinitely. NTA
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 11
    Dresden_Mouse Then they should "value the experience" of homelessness.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 12
    CinnamonBlue Financial screw-ups: Check Parents on side of financial screw-ups: Check Mutual friends on side of financial screw-ups: Check Parents can upsize. Mutual friends can accommodate. You are under zero obligation to fund their financial screw ups.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 13
    Wicked Whimsyy Definitely not the a hole. You didn't sign up to be a hotel for your sister's impulsive decisions. Let them enjoy their "dream vacation" while you enjoy the peace and quiet of your own home.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 14
    celticmuseboo... Family helps family when they actually NEED help. Your sister and her husband don't NEED help. They can get jobs and rent a place to live. They are CHOOSING to be LAZY and not take care of themselves and their kids. My sister blew up at me, calling me selfish and accusing me of being jealous of their "adventurous lifestyle."
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 15
    This gave me a HUGE laugh. Your sister is basically homeless and doesn't appear to have the mental health bandwidth to live with the consequences of her actions. LOL "adventurous lifestyle" -- - she apparently can't even spell "irresponsible". ΝΤΑ
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 16
    Tell you parents DIRECTLY that you are NOT going to subsidize the irresponsible lifestyle of two health adults who are fully capable of getting a job and renting a place to live and that any futher BU YING from them (or your sister) will only result in going no contact until the bu ying stops.
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 17
    LeftPhilosoph... NTA - Di on this hill if you must, but DO NOT yield to this guilt-tripping. If you let them in, they will never leave
    via u/NaturalRun4126
  • 18
    Drazilou NTA "Your lack of planning. doesn't constitute a problem on my end."
    via u/NaturalRun4126

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