Years of Favoritism Come to a Head When Woman Cuts Mother Off for Not Being There for Her After She Gave Birth Despite Tradition of Caring for Other Siblings

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 18, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Welcome, women of the WWW. The internet is riddled with scapegoat children venting their frustrations over their family dynamics. Unfortunately, favoritism is a common issue for siblings. Strangely, while some people take pride in being the family favorite, others adamantly deny being the golden child despite years of evidence. Many brush off their scapegoat sibling's complaints as entitled and their specific examples as on-offs. However, there comes a point where it becomes unbearable for the less-loved sibling to keep pretending that everything is equal. 

The straw that broke the camel's back in today's story was when our protagonist's mother did not come care for her after she gave birth. Her mother had made an active effort to be there for her other children after their pregnancies, but barely acknowledged our protagonist — something she was painfully used to. For this, she finally decided to cut her mother off. Get all the details down below.

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/Gold Goal217 • 1d WIBTAH if I disown my parents after my mom refused to take care of me after I give birth?
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 02
    Throwaway account, and my English writing is really bad. Please bear with me. So I (28 f) am 30 weeks pregnant with my first child and am about to move to another state, and mom has this thing where she takes care of my siblings when they give birth until they recover. She has done it for my older sister and my brother's wife so I thought that she would do the same thing with me too but a week ago she told me that she couldn't because it is too far away. We got into a fight about the whole thing
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 03
    Before you judge me and say that my mom isn't obligated to take care of me, I will tell you that it isn't about mom taking care of me. It was never about that. I am that one child in the family who nobody really cares about. My parents always claim that they love and treat us all equally, but man, is it obvious that they love me a little bit less than the others. I always thought that maybe I am adopted and that's why they don't care about me that much. Well, I am wrong because I am 100% theirs.
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 04
    It is always about how my other siblings are doing or how mom and dad are suffering but it is never about me...it was never about me from the beginning. I am rarely celebrated even if it is supposed to be my day. My Birthdays? They rarely celebrated because mom and dad forgot, or they just threw everything in the house and called it a birthday. High-school Graduation party? Nope, my parents have already wasted a lot of money for my big brother's college graduation party, so they can't do that, b
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 05
    If you guessed no, then congrats, you guessed right! Yay!. They shared the wedding expenses of my sibling's wedding, "but since my husband came from a good family, they don't have to share wedding expenses," not my words.
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 06
    I have always been the therapist who listens to my mom and dad's rough day or the one who needs to help mom because my older siblings have a lot of school work to do or because my younger siblings are too young to do that kind of work. They always tell me that I am a good daughter but I am never the one who they brag about to their friends. I did everything in my power to make them proud but my
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 07
    achievements will always be below my siblings'. I have tried to talk to them about how I feel multiple times before but the only thing I get is a hard scolding about how I was getting spoiled. I hated my life until I got out of that house, but I never had the courage to let go of them, thinking that they would change.
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 08
    Well, my mom just proved me wrong, mind you that my older sister lives a whole ocean away from u,s but mom decided that taking a 10+ hour flight to another continent TWICE was not hard at all, I but all of a sudden,n taking a 4-hour ride to my home was too much? Especially when I am in a place where I don't know anyone except my husband.? I am so me. tired of them putting everyone else above
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 09
    So, I will make things right between us until I leave because I Don't want to end things on a bad note, and when I get to my new house, I will just cut all contact between us. I don't think that I have the energy to do all of this anymore and besides, I have my lovely husband with me so I will be alright and build myself a new family where I am truly appreciated and loved for who I am. Note: I am the 3rd out of 5 children. My younger siblings are twins. 4,198 ☐ 638 2 ☑
    via u/Gold_Goal217
  • 10
    adobeacrobatreader 1d NTA. Tell her you can't keep in touch, it is too far away. ... Reply 5.7k
    via u/adobeacrobatreader
  • 11
    Kissez_N_Tingz • 1d . It's not just about OP's mom refusing to help, it's about a lifetime of feeling neglected and undervalued. Cutting contact is a form of self- care in this case. 2.2k
    via u/Kissez_N_Tingz
  • 12
    Fored19301a • 1d It sounds like OP been trying to earn their approval her entire life, and they've consistently let her down. She deserve to feel loved and supported, especially during such a vulnerable time in her life. ... 738
    via u/Fored19301a
  • 13
    Yadda BoomBadda. 1d NTA It sounds like your parents have taken you for granted, and now they're doing the same thing to your child? No. Stand proud of your decision. The people you allow in your child's life should be people who value them. Reply 489
    via u/YaddaBoomBadda
  • 14
    QuietWalk2505 • . 1d Cutting of her will bring her peace. Nobody deserves to be taken for granted. ← 70 Д
    via u/QuietWalk2505
  • 15
    ΝΤΑ seaturtle541 • 1d I wouldn't bother to make things right with her, just leave the ball in her court. You didn't do anything wrong so you aren't the one who needs to make things right. If you have a good relationship with your mother in law ask her to come help out when the baby is born.
    via u/seaturtle541
  • 16
    Congratulations on realizing things will never change with them. It will actually give you some peace (unfortunately I speak from experience). Build. your own family, that's what I did. Congratulations on the baby!!!! Reply 323
    via u/seaturtle541
  • 17
    Redneck Debutante • 1d Wait, FOUR HOURS??? YWNBTA I was thinking you're talking about the other side of the country or something. My God, wild horses wouldn't keep me away, and I'm so sorry they're ruining this for you. I was that sibling on the outside, too. But don't worry, your partner and child will be all the family you need! Reply 320
    via u/RedneckDebutante
  • 18
    Kindly-Ad6337.1d Even if it was the other side of the same country the mom still went on a 10 hour flight overseas to help the older daughter for both her births. Staying in the same country is nothing. ... ← 75
    via u/Kindly-Ad6337
  • 19
    rollergirl19. 1d Yeah my stepdad was on his way home from some March madness game 4+ hours away when I was in active labor with my oldest child. He didn't even go home and drove the extra 45 minutes to the hospital to see her and support me after birth. I delivered her about an hour before he got there but he was the first one to see her besides my husband and mom who went in the delivery room with me. 54 ↓
    via u/rollergirl19
  • 20
    LyraWhisperer ⚫ 23h You wouldn't be the a-he for wanting to protect your mental health and future family. Sometimes distance helps heal old wounds. Focus on building a supportive network where you are now. Your happiness and well-being come first, especially with your baby on the way. Reply Q 85 ↓
    via u/LyraWhisperer
  • 21
    BlueberryEqual4649. 1d NTA. I know exactly how you feel about being the invisible kid. According to my parents, I was the only planned kid (1.5 year older brother; 6.5 year younger sister)...well I have always been subjected to middle child syndrome (look it up). I have always ever been good enough if they needed money (I have student debts just to keep food on the tabek and a roof over our heads). Sadly, I cannot go no contact as I need to live with them (not great when you're 38!). I cannot af
    via u/BlueberryEqual4649
  • 22
    Go no (or low at first( contact with your parents as they do not care about you. Believe it from someone who has been there for 10 years longer than you. It's terrible but once you accept it, your mental health will get better.
    via u/BlueberryEqual4649
  • 23
    Just remember that you are not ever going to be available if anyone of your family (those that do not care about you) ever needs help or being taken care off. Good luck with the upcoming birth and make sure you and your husband enjoy the new chapter in your life. Reply 94
    via u/BlueberryEqual4649
  • 24
    greenglossygalaxy • 1d NTA. They've shown you what kind of parents they are, and also how they value you compared to your siblings. I personally wouldn't want this kind of behaviour to work its way down to my child, and having them overlooked compared to their cousins. Save yourself the hurt and focus on yourself and your pregnancy. Reply 64
    via u/greenglossygalaxy

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family drama baby toxic married with children adulting siblings motherhood reddit story relationships favorite couples love entitled pregnant reddit thread red flag daughter Reddit
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