‘You lied about having a daughter?’: Married Woman Appalled When Husband Informs Her of His Secret 9-year-old, Divorce Bells Ring When He Demands She Plays Step-mother

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    r/AITAH ⚫4 hr. ago slyywiild AITAH for refusing to take care of my husband's daughter after finding out he hid her from me?
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    I (29F) have been with my husband (35M) for three years, married for one. We both agreed early on in our relationship that we didn't want children. I've always been clear about being childfree and even had surgery to ensure I'd never have kids.
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    Last week, my husband sat me down and dropped a bombshell, he has a 9-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. He claimed he didn't tell me before because he "wasn't sure how serious we'd get" when we started dating. Obviously, we're married now, so I don't buy that excuse.
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    On top of that, he said he's been paying child support (which explains why he's always been tight with money, even though we both make good salaries) but now wants to fight for partial custody. He said it's because he feels guilty about not being involved in her life and wants to be a more present father.
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    Here's the kicker: he expects me to help out with her during his custody time since I work remotely and have a flexible schedule. He insists it wouldn't be a big deal, just "a couple of hours here and there." But I didn't sign up for this. I feel completely blindsided. I told him that if he files for custody, I'll file for divorce.
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    Now he's calling me selfish and coldhearted, saying I'm putting my personal comfort over "what's right for the child." I feel like he's trying to guilt-trip me into becoming a stepmom, something I've explicitly said I don't want.
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    I love him, but I feel betrayed, and I don't think I should be forced into this situation.
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    shammy_dammy •4h ago • Top 1% Commenter NTA. Sounds like this relationship is over.
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    cthulularoo • 4h ago Top 1% Commenter He set you up. Don't let him guilt trip you if you leave, he planned this for years.
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    GovernmentBusi... Top 5% Commenter 4h ago • That's insane. NTA. He lied about something big and wants you to not only look past it but change your lifestyle??
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    KindlyCelebratio... ΝΤΑ Top 1% Commenter 4h ago He's a liar & a deadbeat dad who thought he could salvage his reputation by getting partial custody while all the child care, cooking, additional cleaning, etc falls
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    on you. Regardless of if he fights for custody or not, why would you stay married to him? How could you trust him again?
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    Miss Sharpe • 4h ago • NTA. I wouldn't even wait until he files for custody. I would divorce him now. You've been together three years and it's not until you're married that he drops this child-sized bomb on you? It's obvious he had a plan to trap you into unwilling
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    parenthood back when you were both discussing your future and had mutually agreed to remain child free. This man doesn't respect you or what you want. He certainly doesn't love you except in some superficial way. Keeping this information from you was a
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    huge betrayal and now he's trying to emotionally manipulate you into believing you're the bad person here. A person who really loved you would not do that to you. He's a bad husband, he's a bad partner, and you're far better off without him.
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    Thin-Policy8127 .4h ago. HOLY SH! He lied to you about the existence of a KID! What else is he lying about if that's his bar?
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    The simple answer to him calling you selfish is "shame on you. You have lied to me since our first date." (or whatever date you talked about not wanting kids, I'm guessing it was pretty early). If he doesn't understand how that undermines every single minute of your relationship
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    since, he's either mentally deficient or sociopathic. This isn't pretending to like smoothies when you hate them or something, this is a KID. Kids are forever.
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    Forward-City543 •4h ago. He set you up to become his free child care when he goes for partial custody. He only wants partial custody so he can stop paying so much in child support. On top of that you would naturally be expected to spend money on his kid while she's over,
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    further lowering his costs. He's a complete POS, run and don't look back no matter how he tries to manipulate you and spin this as you being a heartless monster who turns away an innocent child. He lied to your face and by omission.

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