Man Rejects Family After They Mock His ADHD, Setting His Boundaries When They Insist He’s Forgetful About Family Plans: ‘I’m didn’t forget, I just don’t want to see you’

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    r/AITAH 23 hr. ago Brilliant_Company722 AITA for telling my family I'm not forgetful anymore I'm just choosing not to be around them?
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    I'm (22M) the youngest of five and I have a bad relationship dynamic with them all. The reason? ADHD that went undiagnosed until I was 14 and was then brushed aside and I was told I was using being diagnosed as an excuse for being forgetful and bad at time keeping. When
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    they finally accepted the diagnosis was to blame for all this stuff and I wasn't just being difficult for funsies and was seriously struggling they became less dismissive and started mocking me for it and bringing it up more than they had when they were actively annoyed and scolding me.
  • 04
    When I was younger I was awful in school, had poor timekeeping and time management, would forget sh all the time and lost my focus frequently. I also struggled to sit in place. I was always fidgeting or something. It was suggested a few times by teachers that I might have ADHD and my parents said no and they needed to be sterner with me.
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    They'd yell at me when I'd get sent home with notes for not paying attention in class, not finishing work, getting stuff wrong. They'd get mad at me for not remembering we had something on. They'd get mad at me for moving too much. My siblings would taunt me when they knew I'd forgotten
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    something. Sometimes they yelled at me if I forgot something they wanted to know about. I struggled a lot. Getting the diagnosis did help but treatment didn't start for two years and by then I was so close to done with school that I just accepted I was going to fail my classes and I started planning what I'd do.
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    Then I lived with two years of everyone cracking jokes about it. Some of my siblings even joked that I was useless and worthless and why did anyone even bother speaking to me.
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    I didn't get to leave as soon as | thought because of Covid but when I did leave I threw myself into this program for people with poorly managed and treated ADHD and it helped me. I got support, was able to find a job that worked for me, and I was able to make enough to rent a place with some friends. I
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    stopped engaging with my family at the same time and it was so freeing.
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    They have invited me to stuff and sometimes I ignore it while other times I say no. Recently they brought it up to me that I'm forgetting a lot again and they told me not to make excuses for not showing up. I told them I'm not being forgetful I'm just choosing to not be around them because they do not make my life
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    better and they add no value to my life. I told them I am tired of being the butt of the joke and have my suffering mocked and laughed about like they didn't ignore what I was going through for so many years. This happened over a family group chat they added me to.
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    Now they're saying how awful I am for not accepting they're jokes and avoiding my own family. AITA?
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    virtualchoirboy •23h ago. NTA. Top 1% Commenter A joke is when everyone laughs. Bullying is when everyone ELSE laughs. They were bullies and they don't like being called out about it.
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    dragcurvynasty • 22h ago Sounds like your family never took your ADHD seriously, and now they're mad you're setting boundaries. You're not the ahle for choosing peace over being constantly mocked.
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    Material_Assu... 22h ago • Top 5% Commenter If a joke is at someone's expense, then it is bullying. When you talk to them, use buzzwords that victims of bullying use. They will distance themselves from you on their own. NTA
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    Flirtlsabellaa 23h ago NTA. You have every right to set boundaries and protect your mental health, especially after the way they treated you.
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    beek r • 22h ago. Top 1% Commenter NTA When you leave an abive environment, you suddenly realize how terrible it really was, and how better things could be. But it's hard to shake those voices that you've been hearing your entire life - those are your parents, and we're used to
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    treating the opinions of our parents and family like it's advice we should be listening to. They may love you and want you go be a part of the family, but that doesn't change the fact that they're ab ive and toxic. Give yourself time to build a life
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    and form some healthy relationships. Perhaps, with time, they might learn to appreciate and respect you more and you can deal with them better. But, even if that doesn't happen, your still NTA.
  • 20
    Sea Firefighter... 22h ago • Top 5% Commenter NTA. You don't want to see them and they're scared the family will appoint another scapegoat and it could be them. Delete the chat.

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