Update: Coworkers join forces to confront paralegal who blocks doors when he sees women approach: 'HR won’t do anything'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 21, 2024 5:00 PM EST

This group of employees wasn't sure how to handle the workplace weirdo… because he doesn't technically work with them. This person wrote in for advice using a throwaway account called u/throwRA-nonSeq. They shared that they work in an office complex with a bunch of different businesses, and there's one dude who's being an utter creep. He's being just annoying enough to really weird out the other employees, especially the women, who he seems to target in particular. But, as is often the case with workplace issues, these workers didn't know if it was "bad enough" to report to HR. And the other issue is that they didn't even know where this dude worked, so they didn't know if HR could even take up their case. 

However, sometimes HR works exactly as it's supposed to. As you can read about in the original story and the following two updates, HR worked fast to get rid of this dude. It's never acceptable to intimidate those you work with, and the quicker you call out the bad behavior, the safer and happier everyone else in the office will be. 

Up next, read the stories of employees who left their bad bosses behind to find better jobs, like one person who resigned with their entire team! 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10431511296
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Just let me enter the building please There's this guy (50s?) who works at a different company in the same business building as my company who blocks the doorway by leaning against one side and extending his arm out across it, if a woman happens to
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 03
    be arriving at a doorway at the same time as him. Never says anything. Just does this eye- contact-smile thing for maybe three seconds and then "allows us" to go through.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 04
    Today it was finally my turn. I got to the main building door right after him so instead of like, holding it open so it didn't close in my face like most people do, he just holds it open and stands there with a smug smile. It makes me nervous. I go"Uhh, can please
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 05
    enter the building? I need to clock in" and he does this whole "Wow, geez, fine, sorry" before stepping aside, still holding the door open for me so I said "Stop doing that, we all hate it" and just went in. As soon as I turned the corner from the lobby I half ran to the stairwell so I wouldn't have to share the elevator with him.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 06
    I don't even know what firm he works for according to my closest coworker, HR won't do anything because he's not an employee
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 07
    lil update: a male colleague helped us figure out which company he works for by following him up the elevator coming back from lunch. It's a law office on a higher floor.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 08
    Another coworker took one of your suggestions and wrote an email to the building's management office. I went to my department manager and carefully asked if this sort of thing were to happen, would I report it to our own HR? And he said it should at least be on record, even if it's "hard to prove," which made me give him the Fry Eyes (IYKYK) but I went back and typed up an email and sent it, cc'd him and bcc'd other
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 09
    women that I have specifically seen or heard them deal with him. If he thought I was being hypothetical, now he knows I wasn't. The colleague who followed him to the law office joked that we should hand draw flyers of him to warn people and put them in the elevators
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 10
    Update: Just let me enter the building please
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 11
    Yesterday was a long day for me; I came in early to 1) make up for lost time spent focusing on this bs, and 2) to avoid the Noid. Although someone ran into him in the afternoon and went straight to our manager and said He's still doing it so as far as yesterday, not much has changed. It's only been a day. "Who does he look like?" I got this question more than once so I asked around what celebrity did we think he most resembles and
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 12
    we all agreed he looks like the Jump To Conclusions guy from the movie Office Space. It's true. Except he's a lot taller, over 6ft at least. Thank you so so much for all your support and suggestions. I've never been advised about pepper spray so much! I do carry it, but the one time I had to use it it got in my eyes too, so it's become more of a last-resort tool.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 13
    I told everyone in the bullpen about whipping out our phones and taking a pic or video, including people who happen to notice from a distance. In the moment I think a lot of us kind of freeze up (I did) so having a plan of action ahead of time really helps. I took one person's suggestion about wearing huge headphones; the theory is that because people who wear those are in their own little world it's acceptable to
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 14
    show no concern, which makes attention seekers feel less significant. So I wore mine today and got here at my normal time but no one was hanging around the main entrance. Not sure if that's because the email or not. It's probably too early to hear of any official steps taken. But I did feel kind of young and cool on the light rail. Way more comfy than my AirPods.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 15
    One person DM'd me the song "De Todo Un Poco" from Dirty Dancing and said next time someone should queue it up on their phone, blast it and start a limbo line & all genders welcome! Several folks asked about what I wrote in the email so here's a copy paste of it (with identifying details omitted or changed). I'll post another update when more happens, hopefully today. I keep rereading The Email and my
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 16
    stomach has been flipping over and over like I'm a kid about to get in huge trouble. Blaaaaaaaarrrghhhh To: HR Department at the Law Offices of Blank & Blank I am writing on behalf of myself and several employees at Call Center Company (located on the 3rd floor of our shared building) to inform you about some
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 17
    workplace harassment we have been experiencing. For several weeks now, an employee at your firm has been intentionally intimidating women by interrupting their path of travel to and from our offices by blocking the doorway with his body in order to force an interaction. He will not move aside until some kind of verbal exchange has happened. He only does this with women, as far as we've observed and documented, which makes
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 18
    us inclined to call this sexual harassment. This behavior is of course unacceptable. This individual creates a very uncomfortable work environment, despite being in different organizations on different floors. He will often be the first interaction of the day, as he seems to linger around the main building lobby and entrance in the mornings. He will also do this with the elevator doors by stalling them from closing or
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 19
    blocking access to the button panel. This has been setting a tone that interferes with having a secure working experience. Many of us have made multiple attempts to address the issue with this person directly, including myself who told him firmly that we do not like it when he does this. We are requesting that your firm take immediate action to investigate and address this
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 20
    issue. This has already been discussed with our Department Manager and HR department and they are looking forward to hearing from yours. I have cc'd them on this email, as well as the Blah Blah Plaza Building Manager. It is fair to assume that with six different organizations sharing this same building, our employees are not the only ones experiencing this. Please inform us when Call Center Company can expect to
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 21
    see the results of your investigation and what measures will be taken to ensure that this type of behavior does not happen again in the future. We hope that this issue can be resolved quickly, and that appropriate actions will be taken to ensure that all employees working in Blah Blah Plaza feel safe and respected as we all make our way to and from our offices. Sincerely with gratitude
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 22
    -Okay I have to get back to work — I will keep updating..... -
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 23
    Update 2: Just let me enter the building please
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 24
    Oh boy. I've never gotten this much traffic from a post before! Mostly in a positive way, from all the support and suggestions and input and reminders I've gotten over the last several days. So many comments helped me turn my anger into power. I've been riding a high from them and from that email. I've never done anything like that before and I am so appreciative of the support (and validation) that I did the right thing.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 25
    Here's how the week has been going: Monday- no one saw The Noid (which is what I've been calling him). I arrived fifteen minutes early just in case. I was afraid he would confront me, angry because he'd gotten in trouble. But no, lobby was empty and I was the first person to arrive at the office that day. When I was in the break room at one point, a colleague who sits in the bullpen near me said "this is the first time
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 26
    in months I haven't had to deal with him some way or another." - Tuesday still no Noid sightings. I asked around. "I haven't even seen his car in the lot." Did he get fired?? It was super busy that day and I was pretty much glued to my desk, so I didn't have time to meet with my manager or anything besides shooting him a quick "Hey, any response?" via Teams before I left for the day. I didn't want to be pushy but reeeeeeeally wanted to know.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 27
    Yesterday, Wednesday - midmorning a few women including myself were asked to meet with HR (separately). I learned that the Law Offices of Blank & Blank's HR rep emailed a response to my email directly to them and my manager on Monday, without cc-ing me on it (which made me feel some kind of way, but whatever). The Noid is NOT an attorney, but a paralegal, and he is on "voluntary leave" for the week. I asked if the response email could be
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 28
    forwarded to me, but I was told that policy prevents HR from disclosing any disciplinary actions that might have been taken against him... and then I had to write a short statement describing my specific encounter. I hate how in words it doesn't look like a big deal, but I was assured that it is. A bunch of us went out for cocktails after work and I got to hear what others wrote in their statements, like how he sometimes followed them to their cars trying to talk to
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 29
    them, or how he would stand in the elevator doors preventing them from closing until they heard "please." Just ew. EW. Today, Thursday - I just got here and still no Noid! We are all dying to know what happened; if he got fired or like, transferred or what. No one has been told anything except he "chose to take some days off." Maybe this is the Law Office protecting themselves, idk? The thing I'm the most afraid of is if he comes back, will he be
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 30
    hostile or retaliate in some way, and I'll have to be brave again and report it. I wish we had a spy in their offices. I'm sorry I don't have more for you! It's kind of anti-climactic, I know. I promise if when I get to know what actually happened to him, I will let you all know. Or if he reappears. I will loop y'all in. Edit to add in: I'm getting a frame for that email for my apartment
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 31
    ConnectionRo... They legally can't disclose this stuff to you about his employment beyond he's on leave or he's no longer with the firm. I'm glad it's not an attorney. Attorneys are harder to terminate because they tend to have clients that will follow them. Paralegals come and go.
    via u/throwRA-nonSeq
  • 32
    Edithasburglar You have done the right thing. Trust me, this behavior "the Noid" displays enrages HR too! (we are mostly female in HR!)
    via u/Edithasburglar
  • 33
    Hereshkigal826 Huzzah! Ride that high. When he comes back and eventually starts being a again, document document document. Look up your states consent to record laws. If it's one party consent to record, walk in every morning with your phone out on record and smile big. If it's two party, whelp, you now
    via u/Hereshkigal826
  • 34
    have a morning FaceTime with someone and they walk in the building with you every time that is there. The beauty of your situation. is he isn't YOUR coworker. You don't have to interact with him every day. Get your coworkers onboard the pain. train and dish it out. Good luck.
    via u/Hereshkigal826
  • 35
    cameronshaft I wouldn't worry about retaliation if I were you. His employer understands the need for this to go away. This person will either become the model worker or he'll be gone
    via u/cameronshaft

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