Gold-digging fiancé insists his name be put on the title of his future wife's late mother's house, only proposed after she was willed the house: 'He had brought a real estate lawyer to the house, and arranged for the legal process to start'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 22, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Playing the gold-digging game can be an incredibly sneaky long-con. Gold digging isn't simply using a partner for their money so you can get nice jewelry and expensive dinners. Some people are willing to do whatever it takes to get that meal card for the rest of their lives, even if it means blowing up someone else's life to get it. Florence Pugh said it best in the Little Women movie…marriage is an economic proposition.

Sometimes it takes years to realize that somebody is mainly in a relationship for the financial benefits. One woman took to Reddit to figure out why her boyfriend is insistent on putting his name on the title of her late mother's house. This dude has been with her for 5 years and didn't propose until the house came into the picture. Anyone with eyeballs can see that he's only acting out of his own financial self-interest.

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    Cheezburger Image 10432082688
    via Nathan Walker

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITAH For kicking out the real estate lawyer that my fiance brought to my house?
    via u/SeparateLecture9854
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    I (f) have been with my fiancé Scott for 5 years. I've lost my mom who was my remaining parent 7 months ago. She left me her house and I became the official owner 3 months ago. This is when Scott proposed to me and we got engaged although he wanted to wait before we got engaged, but he said that me owning a house now made him feel like we were ready to be married.
    via u/SeparateLecture9854
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    Few days ago, he suggested that I add his name onto the title of the house, and he has been persistent about it. He explained that this step was necessary to ensure "balance in our relationship and marriage" even though I never made him feel like he's inferior or something. Oh and I make more money than him by the way so I don't get how adding his name onto the house title would change anything. But since he insisted, and since we've been together for a long time and we're engaged now, I decided
    via u/SeparateLecture9854
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    After a lot of back n forth on this, I told him to drop it and wait til after marriage. Well, yesterday, I was surprised to see that he had brought a real estate lawyer to the house, and not only that, he said he has arranged for the legal process to start now. I was completely shocked because I never agreed to hire a lawyer, let alone, bring him to the house. I immediately asked the lawyer to leave. He tried to speak but I told him he needed to leave. Scott remained quiet til the lawyer left th
    via u/SeparateLecture9854
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    lawyer, but to him and what we agreed on. I told him his pushing made re-consider the whole thing now and he looked shocked and hurt then stormed out. We continued fighting over the phone and he didn't stop talking about how stubborn and selfish I have been lately. He said he was trying his best to provide a stable living situation for us before we get married but I was being uncooperative. After that he completely ignored my calls. Was I in the wrong for what I did?
    via u/SeparateLecture9854
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    Frankifile ⚫7h ago Top 5% Commenter You've got yourself a gold digger there. Why do you want to marry him? You weren't good enough for marriage till you had a property to your name, you earn more than him and he wants half your assets before marrying you. Don't do it. Run away before he leaves you destitute
    via u/Frankifile
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    RisetteJa ⚫6h ago • Plus, that's what HER MOTHER left HER. Like, that is HERS. Married in the future or not. If the dude invests in the house (like major renovations), then this is a different situation and things should get talked about. If they move there and decide to have kids and the dude becomes a stay at home dad, then this is also
    via u/Frankifile
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    a different situation, and it should be talked about so he's not screwed by raising the kids for years without working. But as of now, this is HER house completely. Dude's got nerve, seriously OP, if ever this doesn't freak you out enough (!) and you decided to marry him anyway, GET A PRENUP, which includes that that house is 100% YOURS until further agreed via legal documents.
    via u/Frankifile
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    numbersthen0987431 Here's the thing. He got engaged after finding out about the house, but then he talked to a lawyer who told him that "pre marital assets" aren't included in divorces. So now he's pushing for his name to be on the title so he can go after the house when they divorce
    via u/numbersthen0987431
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    BeBearAwareOK If you're not gonna dump him AT LEAST have a pre nup drawn up. If he's all in on gold digging he'll leave anyway when presented with a pre nup.
    via u/BeBearAwareOK
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    scarybottom OP- that man is trying to STEAL YOUR HOME. He has NO NEED to ever be on the title. What he wants is legal right to 1/2 of it. And once he has that, he can force a sale through legal process. That lawyer was a shyster, and you should dump Scott the man baby, and live your best life without him.
    via u/scarybottom
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    Strict_Condition_632 NTA―don't trust anyone who wants to change your relationship with them because of a financial asset/money. I knew a young woman who was in a long-term commitment with a very nice guy, but they weren't married. Young woman's mother passed away, left her a substantial life insurance policy—here's the twisted part: young woman ends up engaged/married to the guy she met who handled her mom's policy payout less than a month from the day she met insurance guy. I tell her she's
    via u/Strict_Condition_632
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    making too many very important decisions too fast, and she tells me that I am a jealous old maid. Longtime good guy kicked to the curb; young woman and new husband go on spending spree- house, new cars, fancy vacations (because hubby told her that they didn't need to work anymore). About 18 months go by and it's all fun. Then, surprise! ! Money is gone, house in foreclosure, husband files for divorce, and young woman is standing there feeling used, broke, and stupid. Old boyfriend is hurt and wo
    via u/Strict_Condition_632
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    PorcupineWarriorGod • 1h ago • Edited 1h ago This. I've been exactly here. When I was in my late 20s, I bought my own house. Shortly after that, I starting dating my now-ex. Before we were even engaged, she wanted to be added to the title of the house. (She wasn't paying for any of it mind you)
    via u/PorcupineWarriorGod
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    I chalked this up to interference and pressure from her mom, who was a terrible person, and I ignored the warning signs. In the end, we got married, she divorced me two years later, and took 50% of my house, everything in it, and left me spending everything that was left fighting for equal custody of our daughter. I'm 50 now, and still struggling to get back into a home of my own.
    via u/PorcupineWarriorGod
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    Don't ignore the warning signs. There are people out there who are "great people" as long as you aren't dependent on them, or aren't an "opportunity" for them. Someone who truly loved you would trust you to be a partner without signing over your financial independence to them. Run, don't walk.
    via u/PorcupineWarriorGod
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    ko-xan ΝΤΑ • 7h ago • He clearly wants a piece of your property, likely through a divorce. DO NOT MARRY. DO NOT GET PREGNANT. RUN.
    via u/ko-xan
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    EquivalentSign2377 There are not enough red flags in the world for this. Was this lawyer going to also put your name on his house???
    via u/EquivalentSign2377
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    DH-Canada • 6h ago • Top 1% Commenter So, Scott wants to "provide a stable living situation for you before you get married" by...insisting you sign over half your property to him??? INSISTING! OP - you OWN a house. You ARE stable. Scott is not. He's like a flag, fluttering in the wind. A flag that is red. A flag that is every shade of red imaginable.
    via u/DH-Canada
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    = Scott gold digger. He couldn't be any more clear that that is what he is. BTW, lawyers typically don't make house calls. To people who aren't their clients. In order to help them sign away their assets. Shady AF.
    via u/DH-Canada
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    MixPutrid4310 Your instincts are correct. Get out, get out, get out.
    via u/MixPutrid4310

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