'[I'm] not buying my wife a plane ticket': Spouse refuses to let wife go on vacation while she recovers from high debt

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 26, 2024 11:00 AM EST

This person has a serious chip on their shoulder about their wife's debt issue. 

Right off the bat, the topic of debt can make people really jumpy. No one likes to talk about what happens when you keep spending because it's fun, only to realize that you're sinking deeper and deeper into debt. As the debt balloons, it makes you sad, and that makes you want a little treat. The cycle continues, and it can be difficult to break. But with the right support and a good plan in place, there's still hope for a bright financial future. 

That's why commenters are shaking their heads at this rather unsupportive spouse. This person is refusing to let their wife come on vacation after finding out she had some significant debts still to pay off. Commenters wondered why they were treating her this way, speculating that either the wife hadn't changed her ways, or this person was feeling resentful of her after discovering her secret. Read the full story below and see if you side with the person who wrote in to r/AmItheA******, or their wife. 

Up next, this person admits that they "must have poured about ten gallons of water" on their neighbor's car after he stole their spot! 

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  • 01
    PASSPORT BOARDING PASS Passenger's name: From: To: Date: Departure: Arrival: 26 APRI 2023 7:00 11:25 GATE SEAT CLASS 03 11B 01 PASSENGER'S NAME: FROM TO: SEAT: GATE: DATE
    via Andrej Lišakov on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for not buying my wife a plane ticket so she is missing the family vacation
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 03
    My wife is horrible with money, at the beginning of our marriage we pulled out money together and she would use all of it. Her job is pays sh compared to mine. So when we combined the money she went crazy. I had many conversations with her over it and even tried to get her to take a money finical class.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 04
    Overtime it got worse and worse. About a year ago I learned she was in bad credit card debt. I gave her he chose of divorce or we separate our money and she needs to fix her debt ASAP.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 05
    To her credit she took it seriously and she is fixing her credit card debt. We have separate money and I pay for the bills while her only worry is to buy groceries.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 06
    My family has a big vacation. coming up and everyone is invited. The trip is to Europe and plane tickets are going to cost 1000+. My parents are going to pay for the resort so the only think needs to be paid is the plane ticket and fun money for the trip.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 07
    IrrelevantMan... ESH. She needs to be wiser about money, sure, I'll give you that. But she is TRYING. She is fixing her debts and getting her shit together. Of course, you don't have to pay for her. If this was a money issue, I would totally understand your point.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 08
    But you are just punishing her. You are just being cruel. She already learned her lesson why do you keep putting her down?!
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 09
    A I was leaning to ES H but more YTA. YTA for punishing her while she is making an effort to fix her debt and financial issues. I thought a marriage was supposed to be supportive of one another. Sure she's terrible with money but she is at least listening to you on fixing it.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 10
    Miserable_Den... This whole scenario is messed up. You would go on a vacation to Europe and not bring your wife because of money? Either you can afford to go together or you cannot afford to go together. Because you're married, not dating. YTA, it sounds like you're just trying to punish her.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 11
    DJ_Too_Supre... YTA. So instead of just paying for her ticket you just tell everyone she isn't coming? OP, she is trying to fix her debt (and keep her promise from that ultimatium you gave her) and you can't be nice enough to get her a ticket to go on the trip?
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 12
    OP, she is trying to pay off this debt you should be nice and get her ticket; especially since you said yourself you get way more money than her
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 13
    txa1265 YTA - she is making an effort and you should have just divorced her if you planned on holding a grudge like this.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 14
    Meghanshadow YTA It's a family vacation. Is she your family or a roommate? Have you been kept informed on her total debt and her progress? She's been paying off debt for A Year while only buying groceries. Either she had a Mountain of debt, you both
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 15
    have champagne and caviar diets, or she has still been frittering money away. Which is it? If she's been steadily chipping away at debt. mountain, you should take her with you. If you have been eating caviar and steak on her dime while she tries
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936
  • 16
    to pay off debt, you should take her with you. If she's still frittering money away, you should divorce and not take her with you.
    via u/Electronic_Bus7936

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