Woman Refuses to Share Late Husband’s College Fund With Step-children, Current Husband Throws a Tamtrum, Potentially Ending Their Marriage

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 29, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Marriage is a long and arduous road. The trajectory to a happy and healthy marriage isn't straight, it isn't the most expected route either. It's easy for things to be misinterpreted, or read between the lines, and sometimes it ends up tearing two people away from each other, instead of bringing them together. Love isn't enough, and two people have to have communication, respect, and empathy to thrive. 

In this Reddit thread, the couple at hand is having  a difficult time in their marriage. They're both remarried with children. The original poster (OP) is a woman whose late husband left a hefty fund for their bio son for his university studies, albeit her current husband expects her to share the funds with his children as well. But you'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 15 hr. ago Unsatisfied Mother15 AITAH for refusing to share my bio kids funds with step children
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 02
    I 40f have a son who is 17 m. We lost his dad when I was 28. It was hard for us..we didn't have time to build massive fortune. But from his insurance and other investments, i created a trust fund for my son and the money there is around 150k usd. I have done good career wise and is employed at government job.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 03
    Which is secure job till 60 and pays decently to live upper middle class life style.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 04
    I met my current husband when I was 30 (he was 32 ) during some event. We connected from day one and a year later we got married. My husband has twins aged 15 m and 15 f. Their mother is involved in their life and my husband made clear from day one that children finances will be kept seperate.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 05
    We share grocery, necessities and clothes etc fund. But savings and school fees are kept seperately. We also own our homes separately. And I am currently living at his house and renting my own.note that rent is exclusively used for whole family travels etc. My son and his
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 06
    children get along fine. But they don't call us parents or each other siblings. We also have a daughter together who is 7. Also I save lot for young daughter as she won't have this trust fund and I want to secure her future.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 07
    Recent issue has been that my son has that fund and he wants to study in australia and is preparing for his move next year. My husband children has their fund. But max he can contribute to each children's fund is 25k. He lost money on gambling and his ex wife doesn't save
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 08
    He says let's join all funds and is pressuring my son. He was giving in. I refused. I said it was my son's inheritance from his dad and that can't cover the loss of father. My husband exploded and abused verbally in anger... also didn't hold back. He slapped me. First time ever in life he hit me
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 09
    We sorted out things later but I am not going to give this fund..my step children who have always been cordial to me are suddenly calling me evil monster. Same children for those who I prepare meals every morning at 6 am. Wash their clothes. Iron them. And buy them clothes and other things despite my husband
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 10
    barely doing it for my son. If combined. The fund will come out 83 k each. Though it will still cover aus education for all of three.. I am not going to do that. His children Also want to go Australia now.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 11
    My son said he doesn't want my marriage to fall and said he will give away the amount if it makes me happy. I said no and said his future can't be compromised.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 12
    I told my husband that it isn't my fault that he was careless..in 9 years marriage. He never acted like this and he is giving cold treatment since.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 13
    My marriage is on verge of breaking but I can't deny my son his rights. I know if I say yes. He will happily share But I won't..I rather burn. But I am crying the way my man is treating me. My parents are saying you won't find a man later and to compromise and make peace. They said fight was one time happening. And we
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 14
    are expected to adjust. Also I want to give him chance if he stops poking my son.
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 15
    My frnds are saying it is tough to find a man again when you are a widow and then divorcee Edit .also to add he started drinking more now and demands which i refuse. It is leading to fights..And I let him do it many times. though I hate it doing with his drunk self
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 16
    Also he slapped me in private. My children don't know about it nor my parents. They know we fought. Aitah for refusing to share?
    via u/Unsatisfied Mother15
  • 17
    Lisbei 15h ago • NTA STOP BURYING THE LEDE. HE HIT YOU. Your parents and your friends are wrong. You are wrong. GET OUT.
    via u/Lisbei
  • 18
    thekatiecharm • 15h ago • NTAH your husband physically hit you. He's jealous and angry that he's not able to provide for his kids the way you've been able to provide for your son. Also is wrong with your parents slap them
    via u/thekatiecharm
  • 19
    both and tell them it was one time and see how they'd react.
    via u/thekatiecharm
  • 20
    Alternative-G... • 15h ago Would you like your daughter to stay with a man that hit her once? Your nta. Your husband and your parents are.
    via u/Alternative-G
  • 21
    Initial-Respon... • 14h ago • NTA. My friend, prepare to leave. Let's break this down, including your edits: 1. Your husband has gone from respecting financial boundaries
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 22
    between your children to exploding violently when you enforce those boundaries. 2. He is attempting to pressure/manipulate your 17 year old son, who likely really wants the approval of the only father he
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 23
    remembers. 3. He is OK with his own children emotionally abusing you, likely encouraging it. 4. He hit you for the first time. That's where it starts.
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 24
    5. He is a former(?) gambler. His behavior may point that he is doing it again in secret. 6. He is drinking and pressuring you to have 7. You are having with him when you
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 25
    don't want to in order to avoid an argument. That is a form of assault. All of that does not add up to a happy marriage or a good environment for you or your children.
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 26
    Look, if one of your friends came to you with this story, what would your advice be? I'm a 47F, I understand how hard it is to connect with someone as a woman over 40. But you are not doing yourself or your kids any favors. In fact, you are
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 27
    damaging them. They are watching their mother being mistreated and learning it is ok. Don't teach them that lesson. You will not be alone. Tell your parents the full truth. Tell them about the slap. I am also curious about whether your husband is
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 28
    gambling again without your knowledge. He is acting like an addict sliding back into use and freaking out over the money he is losing.
    via u/Initial-Respon
  • 29
    Call a lawyer. Prepare to leave and do it right. You have a job, property and rental income. You are in a good position to restart. Do it now, before the next slap. comes.
    via u/Initial-Respon

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