Woman Spends All Day Cooking for Friend’s Baby Shower, Only to Be Uninvited at the Last Minute, She Refuses to Deliver the Food

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 7, 2024 2:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. When a friend is pregnant, it's extremely exciting to see them go through all the joys and anticipations of having the child. Being there for her through this difficult, yet exciting time can strengthen the bond of your friendship for years to come. Helping her with appointments, buying baby clothes and items, and of course, helping with her baby shower. Baby showers are an event everyone looks forward to. It's an honor to be able to be a part of one, and an insult to be uninvited. 

This takes us to the Reddit thread. In this story, it's about a woman who's uninvited to her friend's baby shower. The original poster (OP) is a woman who's admittedly been out of touch with her pregnant friend ever since she moved states, but they're nonetheless still friends. She's invited to her friend's baby shower, and she volunteers to provide all the food. She spends all day cooking, taking the day off of work even. You'll have to read the full story below to see what happens in the end. 

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  • 01
    Now the day before her baby shower, I spent the WHOLE day cooking. I took off the day(I only work part time since I'm the primary caretaker for my baby while my man works). Mind you, I had to arrange for my MIL to watch my baby while I did all the cooking and for me to go to the baby shower. I didn't want to HAPPY
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH 12 hr. ago • Lookingtohide AITAH for not delivering the food I made to an event I got uninvited to?
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 03
    Two weeks ago I got invited to a baby shower from a friend who I haven't seen in years. She moved to another state but had apparently moved back and now is having her baby shower here. I was so excited since I haven't seen her in so long. She started a gc with all the mutuals she invited.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 04
    She did disclose that this was gonna be a quick and small one since she had just found out she was pregnant when she was 35 weeks with an induction scheduled on her 37th week.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 05
    We all started volunteering to be responsible for different things for the baby shower. I said I'll cook Filipino food and help pay for some of the decor. I sent money to the friend who was in charge of decorating. I asked mom-to-be how many people are invited besides the ladies in the gc. She told me 15. There's 10 of us in gc
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 06
    including me so I thought I'll cook for 50 people to be on the safe side just in case she invited a few more. I started shopping for ingredients for the lumpia, pancit, chicken adobo and rice and a grazing table. I started prepping and coordinating with the decor lady. We figured where we wanted the food and grazing table and told the MTB. She approved.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 07
    Now the day before her baby shower, I spent the WHOLE day cooking. I took off the day(I only work part time since I'm the primary caretaker for my baby while my man works). Mind you, I had to arrange for my MIL to watch my baby while I did all the cooking and for me to go to the baby shower. I didn't want to
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 08
    bring my baby since I would be busy with the catering. It was by luck she was off those days.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 09
    Then the night before the baby shower, she dm'ed me on ig that she had to 'make some hard decisions' and had to uninvite me but still 'want' me to drop off the food. I told her I understand and respect her decision but I will NOT be dropping off the food. She asked me why and I told her it
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 10
    wouldn't make any sense for me to drive 75 minutes to drop off food to an event I'm no longer invited to. That the ONLY reason I volunteered to do what I said was because I was invited. She asked me how she was gonna find someone to cater on such a short notice. That it was f'ed up and hateful.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 11
    A few friends sided with her while most sided with me. I want to know from a stranger's perspective if I'm the a-he?
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 12
    EDIT: 1-I don't know the full story about her pregnancy. She told me that she went to an OB checkup because her period was unusually heavy and long. They found out she was 35 weeks pregnant and was having complications which is why they scheduled an induction.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 13
    2- I've already sent the ss of the dms to the 10 mutuals. THREE out of the 10 sided with her which prompted me to post this because maybe I'm missing something. I was being told that I should've been 'an actual friend'. That I should've been the bigger person. That she was going thru a rough time with her pregnancy.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 14
    3 - MTB never disclosed to me why she had to make a hard decision and why I was uninvited which. The whole point of us 10 volunteering was to take off the burden off her shoulders. Our mutual friend who was the decor lady was the first one to reach out to me about me not being there since she and I coordinated where
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 15
    the food was going to be at. She's also the one that told me that MTB was telling her and other people that I got my feelings hurt which is why I didn't want to come. She didn't tell them what hurt my feelings. Or how or when. I was too worn out from prepping and cooking to fire back. I took the peaceful route. I didn't ask for
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 16
    the money I spent on the decor - my gift I guess. - 4 I donated all the food to the women's and children's shelter. I figured they're more deserving. I cook Filipino food all the time plus I got a freezer stash of lumpia.
    via u/Lookingtohide
  • 17
    Secret_Sister_Sa... • 12h ago • ΝΤΑ Why tf did she have to make a "hard decision" to uninvite you at the last minute? After you already sent money to pitch in on the decor??!! And after you spent money and time cooking for the event?
    via u/Secret_Sister_Sa
  • 18
    Obviously, you're right not to drop it off... I hope you had a good group of people near you to come and help you eat everything you made! (Or good tupperware so you can freeze it for later.)
    via u/Secret_Sister_Sa
  • 19
    Also, holy sh. "She told me 15. There's 10 of us in gc including me so I thought I'll cook for 50 people" you really don't want anyone to leave hungry, lol.
    via u/Secret_Sister_Sa
  • 20
    peakpenguins • 12h ago Top 1% Commenter She asked me how she was gonna find someone to cater on such a short notice. Maybe she should have thought about that before
    via u/peakpenguins
  • 21
    she uninvited the person who was making all the food for her? NTA.
    via u/peakpenguins
  • 22
    KDLAlumni 12h ago • NTA. I am curious why she "had to" uninvite you though. Such a weirdo move.
    via u/KDLAlumni
  • 23
    Bobd1964 12h ago • NTA. Why would someone un-invite the person doing the catering and then expect them to still deliver the food that was being prepared at no charge to the host? Your high school friend needs a serious re-think of
    via u/Bobd1964
  • 24
    expectations and understand that hurtful decisions like that have serious consequences.
    via u/Bobd1964
  • 25
    No_Cockroach4... • 12h ago • if you are not invited, you don't have to drop off food. i would also ask for a refund of the money contributed for decor. I have no idea what "make some hard decisions" mean but it sounds more like taking advantage of someone's goodwill. NTA
    via u/No_Cockroach4

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