21-year-old rejects boyfriend's marriage proposal in Hawaii because it wasn't lavish enough: 'I hope you’re not about to propose to me right now'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Dec 13, 2024 2:00 PM EST

Imagine taking your girlfriend of six years on a spur-of-the-moment trip to Hawaii to finally propose, only to discover that this was not meeting her expectations. Such is the unfortunate reality of our time on the internet, where over-the-top marriage proposals are frequent TikTok and Instagram trends. Apparently, a nighttime proposal on the beach in an idyllic dream vacation spot was not perfect enough for this entitled 21-year-old.

As many folks in the comments section of this Reddit thread pointed out, these two are very young, not just in age but also in maturity, and the obsession with making a marriage proposal well-suited for social media posts is clear evidence of that fact. Since these two have such a difference of opinion on this failed marriage proposal, they need to have a serious conversation about the performative and superficial nature of their relationship. Perhaps they need to slow down and reassess if they want to spend the rest of their lives together, given their differences of opinion. Or perhaps this relationship was never meant to be. 

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions. For more, check out this post about a father who demanded that his daughter donate a kidney to him.

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    Cheezburger Image 10440825856
    via Unsplash+ (Ave Calvar)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My girlfriend rejected my marriage proposal For context, My girlfriend (F21) and I(M21) have been together for 6 years, and over thanksgiving weekend I took her on a weeklong trip to Hawai'i with the intention of proposing to her, I
    via Axelbarillas
  • 03
    even asked her parents for their blessing and showed them the ring a couple days before we left for the trip. We have talked about marriage before and we've both agreed that we want to marry each other, so the idea of it is nothing new and actually a frequent topic.
    via Axelbarillas
  • 04
    The issue is that she wanted a grand wedding proposal similar to the ones you might see on tiktok/instagram; Big "MARRY ME" letters on the beach, rose petals on the ground, lights,
    via Axelbarillas
  • 05
    mariachi, etc. I was absolutely on board on doing that for her if it made her happy, but that was something to be planned at a beach back at home since I wouldn't have the resources to plan it for a trip to somewhere we've never been, especially
    via Axelbarillas
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    because we booked everything as a last minute vacation just 5 days prior, ironically after she sent me videos of people. vacationing in Hawaii. I believed this would be a great opportunity though.
    via Axelbarillas
  • 07
    I planned to propose to her on the day we arrived. I carried the ring in my pocket all day waiting for a good opportunity to ask her
    via Axelbarillas
  • 08
    (knowing it wasn't going to be a grand proposal like she had hoped, but I thought because of the circumstances she would be happy) however we had some completely unnecessary arguments and I decided to postpone because I didn't want to do it after a bitter day.
    via Axelbarillas
  • 09
    Second day there, we had booked a reservation to go parasailing. I didn't want to risk losing the ring, so I left it back at the hotel. We didn't get back to the hotel until ~5pm and we started getting ready to go back
    via Axelbarillas
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    out in the city, by this time it was already starting to get dark. She's said before that she would want a sunset proposal, and knowing that I couldn't organize any of the other things she had in mind for a proposal, the sunset was the only thing I had. I missed my chance
    via Axelbarillas
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    on that but we still went out to dinner and drinks. We came back to the hotel afterwards because she was tired (I was too, it was an eventful day). I let her rest for a bit and around 10:30 I convinced her to go on a night walk with me at the beach.
    via Axelbarillas
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    This was when I planned to propose to her. We got to the beach, the city was very much still awake and the lights of the buildings and streets combined with the bright moon illuminated the ocean beautifully. We stood
    via Axelbarillas
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    there hugging and kissing, both knowing it was a beautiful and intimate moment. I started telling her how much I love her and how I want to be with her my entire life
    via Axelbarillas
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    etc. As I started to get on my knee and reaching my pocket for the ring, she stopped me. "I hope you're not about to propose to me right now, this isn't what I expected". My heart dropped, I
    via Axelbarillas
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    got back up and stood speechless before starting to walk back to the hotel. I was in no mood to talk about the situation and told her we should talk about it tomorrow.
    via Axelbarillas
  • 16
    We talked about it the next day and she insists on me doing it again, but this time "the right way" during sunset. I tell her I can't do that because she rejected me already. She tells me she didn't reject it, just simply it wasn't how she would have wanted it to happen. We spent
    via Axelbarillas
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    the next 4 days in Hawaii in a very tense state but we had to deal with it until we got back home. We live together and for the first night she went to sleep with her parents, now she came back but I don't want to be home with her there.
    via Axelbarillas
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    What can be the outcome of the situation? I obviously didn't want this to happen during our vacation, but I can't see it other way. Is this a valid reason for me not wanting to be with her anymore? I also don't think it's right for me to redo the proposal.
    via Axelbarillas
  • 19
    TL;DR: Girlfriend turned down my proposal during our vacation to Hawaii because it didn't fit her idea of a grand proposal, yet insists on me redoing it how she wants it.
    via Axelbarillas
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    UPDATE: So we had another conversation about it once she came back home from her parents. She's still adamant that I failed to meet her expectations.
    via Axelbarillas
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    Admittedly, I understand I didn't do any of the things she had visualized it to be. I want to emphasize that we're young, and the proposals she's seen on social media are nothing but TRENDS. These proposals have
    via Axelbarillas
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    become popular in maybe the last year or 2, prior to that she's told she that she wants an intimate proposal and especially away from the public.
    via Axelbarillas
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    People are telling me I'm wrong because I knew exactly what she wanted and didn't do it. She also tells me that a proposal is solely about the female and what she wants. I think that's bullŒ. I
    via Axelbarillas
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    know I've told her that I was on board on doing her fantasy proposal, yet I changed my mind about that. I didn't want to plan this huge thing at my hometown beach just for the spectacle of it,
    via Axelbarillas
  • 25
    I preferred to do it in a way I knew we'd both enjoy. IN HAWAII ESPECIALLY. Something that really bugs me is she says that I made the trip seem like "just another trip, nothing crazy or out of the ordinary" This is literally our first ever vacation flight together.
    via Axelbarillas
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    The same night that happened, we had brunch, went parasailing, and had a wonderful teppenyaki dinner. Am I selfish for changing the whole proposal up without consulting her? I don't understand why some people say I'm selfish for not doing what she wanted, I still did something that
    via Axelbarillas
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    objectively should make any woman ecstatic. I think my focus now is shifting from wondering if it's okay for me to break up with her for turning me down, to wanting to break up for her ungratefulness in general.
    via Axelbarillas
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    Another reason why she said it wasn't up to her expectations was because we were both dressed casually. She wanted me to give her prior notice that something special was going to happen by telling her to get. glammed up.
    via Axelbarillas
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    NOTE― To the people asking why I couldn't propose the next day at sunset: another requirement for her proposal was for her dog to be there, which she told me that same minute after telling me it's not what she expected. She
    via Axelbarillas
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    absolutely adores this dog and has always told me she wants him to be ringbrearer at our wedding-sure thing, if it makes her happy I really don't mind.
    via Axelbarillas
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    Issue is she also wanted that to be the case for the proposal, which I was absolutely unaware of (and obviously we didn't take the dog with us). She was just too focused on how she wanted the proposal rather than just being excited about being with me.
    via Axelbarillas
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    1d ago Edited 1d ago W... 1d ago man she's a child Edit: well this blew up. To those saying they're both children, yes at 21 they both lack the life experience they'd have if they were older.
    via Axelbarillas
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    That's not my point. My point was her reaction was petty and immature and at 21 you should know better.
    via Axelbarillas
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    Top-Negotiatio... 1d ago Dude, you took her to HAWAII? And proposed on the beach under the moonlight? And that wasn't good enough? Run. Run quickly, run far.
    via Axelbarillas
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    She sounds like she watches too many movies on the hallmark channel. She's high maintenance. You will spend the rest of your life trying to please her and nothing you do will ever be good enough.
    via Axelbarillas
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    If she genuinely loved you, none of that circumstantial BS would matter. She should just be excited to spend the rest of her life together with you.
    via Axelbarillas
  • 37
    millieisadog · 1d ago • I can't even imagine what she expects for the wedding!
    via Axelbarillas

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marriage proposal proposal girlfriend wedding comedy entitled reddit thread Reddit funny fiancee entitled people
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