Selfish in-laws spit on their son-in-law's compromise and give him an ultimatum, making him choose between his parent's Christmas and their holiday party: ‘Linda and Greg have flat-out disinvited us from Christmas’

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 13, 2024 9:00 PM EST

They see his parents on Christmas Eve and then spend Christmas Day at your house–what more do you want? This man was pushed to his limit with his in-laws when they tried to dictate their holiday plans, but with a non-confrontational wife and pressure from his own family, he tackled their ultimatum with a blind bluff that would rock this Christmas holiday to the core.

Christmastime is here, which means our in-laws are pulling us in every direction. And worse, if you come from a household of divorce with remarriage and remarriage, suddenly you're planning around 4 Christmases instead of 1. There's no perfect way to do the Christmas holidays, but most families are lenient with each other's schedules, cherishing the moments they get to spend together instead of ruining a perfectly delightful dinner with malicious nitpicking, guilt-trips, and ultimatums… Oh wait, that's exactly what happened to the young couple in our next story, who faced a dilemma over whose parents' house they'd spend the holidays. 

Read on for all of the details of this nutcracking debacle–it'll certainly make you appreciate your own in-laws for all of their best qualities.

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    via RDNE Stock project

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to go to my in-laws for Christmas after they disinvited my family? So, here's the situation: I (30M) am married to my wife (29F), and we have a 3-year-old daughter.
    via 30lbslater
  • 03
    This year, we were all set to spend Christmas Day with my wife's family, as we've done in previous years. My wife's parents (let's call them Linda and Greg) host a big Christmas celebration every year, and it's always been a bit chaotic, It's mostly a bunch of
    via 30lbslater
  • 04
    extended family, loud conversations, and lots of food. Now, I love my wife's family, but they aren't the easiest to deal with. Linda, in particular, has a tendency to try and control
    via 30lbslater
  • 05
    things, and she's always had a problem with my family-mainly because they aren't as "formal" or as traditional as hers. In the past, there's been tension about which side of the family we spend holidays with, but we've always managed to compromise.
    via 30lbslater
  • 06
    Here's where the problem started: A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my mom about our Christmas plans. She was really excited to have us over for Christmas Eve dinner and wanted us to stay the night. I told my wife
    via 30lbslater
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    about it, and she seemed okay with it at first. But then, out of nowhere, Linda calls my wife and tells her that "she's really disappointed" that we were planning to spend Christmas Eve with my family. She implied that it
    via 30lbslater
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    would cause a lot of tension, especially with other relatives, and that we "shouldn't split the holiday." My wife was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place and ended up telling me that we
    via 30lbslater
  • 09
    had to choose between spending Christmas Eve with my family or going to Linda and Greg's for the whole holiday. She said that her parents were "hurt" that we'd even consider spending time with my side of the family, and she didn't want to cause any drama.
    via 30lbslater
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    I was really frustrated, and honestly, I felt like I was being forced to choose between my family and hers. I've always been understanding about her family's tradition, but this felt like an ultimatum. I told my wife that I
    via 30lbslater
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    wasn't comfortable with her parents dictating our plans, especially when my family was being excluded from a holiday that's supposed to be about spending time with loved ones.
    via 30lbslater
  • 12
    After some back and forth, I told my wife that I wasn't going to her family's house this year if they couldn't be respectful of my family's traditions. It's not like we were planning on staying with my family for the entire Christmas
    via 30lbslater
  • 13
    Day-we just wanted to spend Christmas Eve there, then head to Linda and Greg's for Christmas Day. But now, Linda and Greg have flat-out disinvited us from Christmas, saying we can't "pick and choose" when it comes to family holidays.
    via 30lbslater
  • 14
    My wife is really upset with me and says I'm causing unnecessary conflict and making things harder for her. She thinks I should have just gone along with what her parents wanted and not caused a scene. But I'm feeling pretty hurt
    via 30lbslater
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    that her family is basically dictating where we spend Christmas, and I don't think it's fair to expect us to drop my family's plans without any compromise. So, AITA for refusing to go to my in-laws?
    via 30lbslater
  • 16
    gover2087 Your wife needs to grow a back bone and tell Linda and Greg their ultimatums aren't welcome. "Splitting" the holidays completely acceptable and normal for most families and Linda and Greg are narcissist for being selfish and trying to control your new family.
    via gover2087
  • 17
    You have a brand new family so start your own traditions on your terms and anybody who decides to not be part of them doesn't deserve to be. You've been more than flexible and accommodating. NTA, 100%.
    via gover2087
  • 18
    TomDoniphona Christmas Eve in one place and Christmas Day in another is perfectly reasonable and a standard arrangement. This is absolutely not fair on your parents. Your wife needs
    via TomDoniphona
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    to understand that. And your MIL, she champions traditional values but she wants your parents alone for Xmas? There is no defending your wife's side sorry. Stand your ground.
    via TomDomniphoba

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