11-year-old misses dad's second wedding, stepmom never gets over it years later: 'If I had really wanted to go, I would have'

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    AITA for telling my dad and his wife that I don't regret missing their wedding?
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    My dad married "Eve" when I was 11. I wasn't at their wedding because my mom did a week and a half before the wedding. I wasn't in a good headspace to go and honestly,
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    I had already disliked Eve since she was very pushy about wedding stuff and wanting me to play a very specific part in the wedding, to the point where I felt like I was being set up to basically be stuck with her 4 year old daughter the entire day.
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    Dad and Eve basically harassed me that whole morning until they left to come. They would not let it go. I ended up staying with my (maternal) grandma the entire day. My dad and Eve were really not happy with me. Eve said her daughter was really sad not to have her new sister beside her that day.
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    Less than a year later my dad and Eve had my twin half siblings. They as well as my stepsister were told a lot about the wedding and how I missed it and was "super sad" that I didn't get to be there. They claimed I was sick. I won't lie, it did bother me.
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    In the last couple of months my stepsister and half siblings (now 6 and 10) have asked me why I don't act sad that I missed the wedding. My stepsister said I don't act like I'm upset that we didn't get to do our sister dance at the wedding,
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    something that she revealed to me and I was never told about by my dad or Eve. She also said I never act excited when dad and Eve talk about redoing their wedding with all of us there.
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    I confronted my dad and Eve about the whole sister dance and they said it was something they had planned to surprise us both with at the wedding, but I ruined it.
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    We got together with dad's family Saturday. Eve brought up the wedding and was reminiscing about the almost perfect day and stuff like that. Dad's family were like yeah, it was such a difficult time for the family though after I lost mom and
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    had my life turned upside down. Eve and dad were like oh yeah, OP really regrets not being at the wedding and it's such a shame we couldn't help her make it. My dad's family all looked very confused about the statement. Eve commented that it was such a shame I hadn't got the foresight to realize I'd regret missing out back then.
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    That put me over the edge and I told them I did not regret missing their wedding. That their wedding was not some big important day for me, especially not after I lost my mom. I told them I was in the worst stages
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    of grief still and I was harassed the whole morning of the wedding by them. I said if I had really wanted to go I would have. And that the lies they kept making up and telling everyone were disgusting because most people who know me know I had just lost my mom and didn't give a rats about the wedding.
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    Dad and Eve did not like what I said but my grandparents and aunts and uncles all said I was right. But Eve and dad said I should have a better attitude and I not only hurt them but my stepsister and half siblings by revealing how little I cared about the creation of our family. AITA?
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    fallingintopolkadots 5 hr. ago NTA. Good heavens, Eve needs to get the over herself. It's her own d Id fault you weren't at the wedding -- they could have had the forethought to postpone
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    in light of the death of your mother. To even think that you'd be all "yay wedding" so soon after losing her, to say little of their appalling pressure to you on their wedding day
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    a week and a half after losing your mother, is ridiculous. You were 11! You needed support and understanding and to have your father on your side.
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    That Eve is still harping on about it years and years and years later... wow. Woman needs therapy or something. The fact that everyone else save for Eve and your dad and your young siblings (who have been listening to Eve all their lives) are understanding of why you didn't
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    attend their wedding shows that you are not at fault in any shape or form. It's horrible and cruel of Eve and your dad to hold this against you and try to make you feel things that you won't feel.
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    They don't get to tell you how to feel. I'm sorry that their carrying on basically forced you to spill a truth you knew would likely upset them, but it's their own fault for thinking of themselves
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    and their little world and not thinking of how you were obviously grieving -- they're holding a completely 100% understandable reaction (for any human, not just a child) who lost a parent against you), which is especially terrible since you were a young child and yes, your life had been turned upside down.

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