In-Laws Fail to Buy Flights in Time For Christmas, Accuse Daughter-In-Law of Ruining Their Holiday, But Son Takes Wife’s Side: ‘You should be kissing the ground she walks on’

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 23, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Christmas should be a time of merriment, joy, convivial parties and family time. Imagine strings of colored lights across buildings and houses everywhere, magical and ethereal snow falling softly on your eyelids, then to cozy up next to a fireplace and feel the warmth of the holiday spirit. Not everyone has this kind of enjoyment of the holiday though. We're all familiar with the timeless stories of the Grinch who stole Christmas, or the Scrooge, who just wanted everyone's Christmas to lack actual merriment. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, the original poster (OP) is a woman who tried her best to bring her in-laws over for Christmas. They've been complaining about not being able to see their grandkids, and OP wanted to make it nice for them. You'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    MY fault, that I dropped the ball, and now they're going to be home alone, again. So I let him know that this has been in the works since June, that I hounded them for weeks, reminded them at every turn, that I was willing to pay for everything and ALL they had to do was give me dates for their stay/travel, they resisted, and we
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH ⚫ 12 hr. ago Butter TartsAndDarts AITA For "ruining" Christmas for my in-laws and blowing up their relationship with my husband, because I told the truth (possibly from ego)?
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 03
    In summer we were speaking with my MIL & FIL (*H*usband's stepdad), Christmas came up & they were vocal in their sadness we've never spent a Christmas together. We have 3 kids, 2 dogs, 1 cat, & we live in a different province. Where we live my MIL has a dozen other family members, and where they live it's just them
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 04
    and SIL (17f, half-sibling to H). Both areas have extreme and unpredictable winter weather, and it's about a 19hr drive each way between us. We all drive to see each other in the good weather months, but we don't drive further than a couple of hours away in winter. Instead of paying for the 5 of us to fly to see them at
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 05
    Christmas (and paying to kennel the dogs/cat or get a sitter), I offered to pay for the 3 of them to fly here to stay with us because it's cheaper, it's easier (flying with one teen vs 3 young kids), and they'd also get to see the other pockets of family who live here. They were really happy, and I told them to look into their schedules/book time
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 06
    off, and let me know the dates they wanted to travel.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 07
    I've been reminding them I need dates for months - they both work shift work (which is sometimes opposing, so they don't always share the same days off), and SIL has school. I reminded them each time that I'm not booking this until they give me the specific dates they plan on traveling. My last reminder was the last week of
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 08
    November, where I told MIL on a phone-call that the flights were booking up, it's a small town and there aren't many flights to start with - I NEED them to solidify their plans, book the days off, and let me know. I told her this will be the last time I ask for the dates, and I'll wait for them to get back in touch when they have them. Then I
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 09
    mentally washed my hands of them.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 10
    She called me on the 15th of December with their dates, and I went online with her on the phone so we could book it - flights are booked up. I opened the option of them coming in the New Year and having a late makeshift Christmas, and she said "it's not the same though". I just said “that's a shame", and we ended the call.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 11
    Now, I know I'm not the AH for any of this, but possibly for the fall-out.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 12
    Yesterday I ran into H's cousin, who was talking about how it is that the flights didn't work out for my in-laws. I agreed, but mentioned how annoying it is to listen to them complain about missing Christmas with us when all they had to do was provide dates. Well, apparently the in-laws have been telling the family that this was
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 13
    MY fault, that I dropped the ball, and now they're going to be home alone, again. So I let him know that this has been in the works since June, that I hounded them for weeks, reminded them at every turn, that I was willing to pay for everything and ALL they had to do was give me dates for their stay/travel, they resisted, and we
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 14
    tried to book the minute they finally gave them to us. The cousin told his parents what I said (he's not the AH, I'd do the same), his mom told her sister (MIL). MIL called H and was yelling at him about how I ruined their Christmas and was talking "sh_". H told his mom he never wanted to spend Christmas with them anyway and
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 15
    this all worked out perfectly, that they should be kissing the ground I walk on for being the only reason they got to see their grandkids, that the only reason they have a relationship with us is because I've facilitated it, that I have overcompensated for their short- comings to ensure it, that I was trying to give them a nice big
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 16
    family Christmas because I have a loving and generous heart, and they sh all over it with their ineptitude...then, "I wasn't even surprised, you're as useless as a paper hammer", and he hung up on her. The whole family is up-in- arms between the flights/Christmas, me telling the truth, and then H telling the truth.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 17
    H was NC with his mom when we met, the result of a traumatic childhood with a lot of neglect and ab e. They forged a new relationship after we got married (she seemed to have changed, is a good mom to SIL, stable marriage), but he has always kept her at arm's length, minimal effort, uninvested. I'm usually the one making calls,
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 18
    sending cards/gifts, planning trips to see them. He's been happy for the kids to have that relationship (she's been a better nana than she was a mother), but knows they will never be close. He was happy to keep the new status quo. Her biggest issue through this new relationship has been her flakiness - this issue with making plans/
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 19
    committing is very normal for her and has been frustrating for us (H thinks it's because she really just deep-down still doesn't care, and posited that her refusal to give dates was because she never actually wanted to come, so she sabotaged it). He is now totally done with her (we all are, by extension).
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 20
    So, AITA for my impulsivity and annoyance (maybe a little ego), which led me to tell the truth to the wrong person, making me the catalyst for an entire familial implosion? Should I have just taken it on the chin and removed my feelings from the situation? I feel REALLY bad. H has been brought right back to those feelings he worked so hard to work through.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 21
    He seems somewhat relieved to be done (despite never previously expressing any regret over reconnecting - fully in, but emotionally removed from her), but I can tell it's awoken that sadness he carried for a long time.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 22
    ETA: I can understand from my post why people would assume I was the driving force behind the reconnection, but I was not. He has wanted a relationship with SIL since she was born, and SHE was the only reason he decided to reach out and try to forge a relationship with MIL/FIL (because she is a minor, we needed the relationship
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 23
    for access). I do not care about MIL (unless you count my disdain). I did not push or chase a relationship with her. He has done all the counseling and therapy to deal with his childhood, the pain, the resentment, the anger. He does not have a relationship with his bio- dad (his main ab er, where most of his trauma lies). I have done the
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 24
    work and made the effort so that he can have a relationship with his sister, while not having to deal with MIL more than absolutely necessary. I have just been the middle-man/interference to diminish his interactions with MIL to a level he found palatable/tolerable so that he can maintain contact with SIL and have things be amicable and easy. I am
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 25
    completely and totally fine with his decision to pull the plug - it's much less work and effort for me. He is heartbroken that it appears his relationship with his sister is over for now, because I set this in motion. She is very angry and refuses to speak to either of us. I feel like an a_h_le for speaking before thinking, and not realizing that this would be the death-blow.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 26
    There have been MANY conversations between us about all of this over the years, many check- ins regarding his comfortability. Some have said I am abusing my husband or letting him be abused - he would laugh his a off at that. I have done all of this so that he could have SIL in his life, not because I GAF about MIL or her feelings. I have heard all the stories
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 27
    from his childhood, and have zero affection or respect for his mother - this is not a loss for me. He tolerated her to be closer to his sister during the years a relationship foundation is built. The fallout at this point is SIL has refused contact, the aunt and cousin (and their attachments) mentioned previously have
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 28
    decided they are not comfortable coming to our Christmas Eve event and have disinvited us from their Christmas Day dinner. We will see who else bails for Christmas Eve.
    via u/Butter TartsAndDarts
  • 29
    Variable_Cost • 12h ago • Why are you spending emotional energy on your inlaws who don't want it, don't need it, and don't appreciate it. You've done your part. They need to make an effort.
    via u/Variable_Cost
  • 30
    GodsWarrior89 • 12h ago • Nope. You went out of your way to be accommodating to your in laws. It sounds like you do a lot for them already. If they can't see that & see how they botched the dates, then that's on them! Enjoy your Christmas with your kiddos!
    via u/GodsWarrior89

Tags

christmas family drama drama flight family feud relationships lol in laws love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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