27-year-old woman bails on family Christmas over how her parents treat her boyfriend, they spend the holiday at the Caribbean

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    AITA For skipping Christmas with my parents since they won't treat me like an adult?
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    I (F27) have been with my boyfriend (33) for almost two years now. We will be getting married eventually but it's not a priority.
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    My mom won't let us share a bed if we come see them for any reason. When we came over this last summer my boyfriend suggested renting a hotel so we
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    could have privacy and a comfortable bed. It drove my mom nuts that we bypassed her ittle rules. She wouldn't drop it the entire time we were there. She made me promise not to do that again.
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    My boyfriend's mom and dad are retired to Mexico and they are really chill. So we made plans to come visit them over Christmas.
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    They are not Christian so they don't really care when they see their son with regards to religious holidays.
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    We didn't tell my parents we weren't coming. My mom asked me at Thanksgiving if I was going to hold to my promise not to stay at a hotel over Christmas. I answered truthfully that I would not stay at a hotel.
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    I am sitting here on the balcony of my future in-laws condo looking at the Carribean waiting for sunrise and enjoying the peace and quiet. I made the
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    mistake of going online yesterday and I saw a bunch of posts from my mom and my sisters about how I was a j for lying to them about my plans.
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    I may have been a little tipsy last night because I decided to respond. I said that it was ridiculous of them to try and tell me I couldn't share a room with my boyfriend, that I was keeping
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    my promise by not staying at a hotel when we were there, and that if they planned on putting everything on Facebook I would be avoiding all visits for the foreseeable future.
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    They took down their posts when people started cr g on them for trying to control me. But some people did agree with them.
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    Now they are texting me and calling to say I was an a h le for making them look bad. I asked them if they were trying to make me look good with their posts?
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    They stopped for a while but there were more texts and voice mail this morning. I'm kind of liking the idea of skipping out on the drama from now on. But I miss my dad and he is blameless in this. AITA?
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    EDIT I'm having trouble wrapping my head around a couple of things that keep being repeated.
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    1. How was staying at a hotel so we didn't break her rules not the adult choice?
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    2. How many of you guys fly across the country or drive. for hours to just stay one night?
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    W.. ESH. Your mom is horribly controlling. That's not in question. But instead of saying, "I won't be spending Christmas with you this year,
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    I'm going to the in-laws, and if I come to you again, we will stay in a hotel," you lied in such a way that they thought you'd be attending. Instead of acting in the adult manner in which you want to be treated, you behaved like. a kid.
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    EDIT: Well, now. This kicked off. Thank you for the awards. Clearly a mixed bag of responses. Just a little clarification, a lie of omission is still a lie. If you are dealing with a manipulative or narcissistic
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    person, it is all the more important to state your boundary clearly and stick to it, otherwise you will leave yourself open to their ab ive tactics and flying monkeys. Don't bring yourself down to their level.
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    And for everyone that told me to foff or similar.... Merry Christmas to you too.
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    MelodyRaine NTA This falls under "If all I have to do to 'make you look like an a hole' is tell the truth, that means you are acting like an a h le."
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    stollentrollin NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Your mom and sister made themselves look bad, controlling and entitled,
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    taking your family issues to the book of faces. Do yourself a favor, block them and don't interact with them, as it would validate a discussion about your or
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    their behavior, which is plain and simple unnecessary and unacceptable since your life choices are not theirs to discuss and especially not to punish.
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