The Most Entertaining Parenting Texts of the Week (December 24, 2024)

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 24, 2024 8:00 AM EST

T'is the night before Christmas, and I hope all of you are having a good holiday so far. If you can travel to your parent's house, have Christmas Eve dinner, and celebrate the magical holiday without anyone fighting each other or having a Midwestern battle of passive aggression, you're one of the lucky ones. If you're among the many unlucky ones, you're already reeling from the storm and stress of having to interact unusually closely with your family. Or perhaps you didn't go home for this holiday and are dealing with the ugly aftermath of your absence from afar. 

This is a prime week for wild parenting texts from parental units. Most weeks are about occasionally petty squabbles regarding religion, LGBT identity, or an absentee parent trying and failing to come back into their children's lives. This week is all about whether somebody wasn't around to eat the broiled cornish game hen with people they feel obliged to be around.

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  • 01
    So I've been clean since 11/17/23 and this year was the first time since 2019 I was invited to Christmas with my entire family and this happened....
    via u/Haunting_Plankton_97
  • 02
    For context, Logan is my girlfriend, and Melissa is Logan's mom. I've been living with her since July, for free. I have had a job here and there but it has been difficult to maintain consistency due to Logan's health issues. But my mother was the ONLY one who didn't want me there. I have two older brothers (41 years old) who are twins and
    via u/Haunting_Plankton_97
  • 03
    married with kids who are coming up. It was supposed to be"be the year" that I finally was included again. I haven't seeen them since 2019, and even then it was briefly. Am I overreacting? Does she have a valid point? I understand just because im sober doesnt fix things but I never stole from any of them, and yeah...just would love some input?
    via u/Haunting_Plankton_97
  • 04
    26 10:20 have been Mom 69 I'll be in touch with you. It will be after the 25th tho. I just wanted you to understand where my head is now a days. Love you Drew Good for you keeping me on track. Sincerely What little something can I get for Logan? I CAN come around... in time I know. Anything to do with horses Got it I'll give you an idea. That's sweet. Can you unblock us on Facebook please Yes That's a big deal to her she feeels like you hate her We won't message you I promise Thank you. Unblock
    via u/Haunting_Plankton_97
  • 05
    26 5:09 76 Mom PO he said everything is fine, the fact he saw my truck there he knew I was prolly showering I sent money to you already. I'm not asking for money It was 179$ total. You sent 100 I still owe her. I'm blocking you But how is dad? How are you? Don't Delivered Don't block me? What? Mom im not asking for money Today 11:14 AM Today 5:07 PM You are NOT welcome to stay here. NO Pls Okay So don't come?
    via u/Haunting_Plankton_97
  • 06
    26 5:10 Mom > 76 But how is dad? How are you? Don't Delivered Don't block me? What? Mom im not asking for money Today 11:14 AM Today 5:07 PM You are NOT welcome to stay here. NO Pls Okay So don't come? I'll call police if you continue harassing me. You ALWAYS try to ruin my time with your brothers and my grandchildren You're the most narcissistic person I know Ok I won't Love you mom merry Christmas
    via u/Haunting_Plankton_97
  • 07
    Forget coming over during Christmas I mean it I need to disconnect your cell I think I will Freaking out? Good + Message It's literally all I have
    via u/Haunting_Plankton_97
  • 08
    My mom is insanely dramatic. If things don't go her way, she goes into what she thinks is a guilt trip.
    via u/Livid-Replacement-29
  • 09
    I said I want 2. That's too big of a serving mom. That's bad portion control No it's not. I'm hungry You're being a glutton Where is my food I wasn't cooking the salmon yet. Let me go get me a snack. You didn't say when you wanted it. I'm gonna do it soon because I'm actually tired. Give me a minute I told you I was hungry. It's almost 5. I can just find something else if you're tired. You can do it another day. Ok. Give me a few minutes I changed my mind. I'll just eat this chicken. iMessage
    via u/Livid-Replacement-29
  • 10
    udy. Ok. Give me a few minutes I changed my mind. I'll just eat this chicken. Are you sure Of course I am. I'm tired of feeling like I gotta beg you to do stuff for me. I always drop everything to do stuff for you. All I ask you to do is cook me some salmon. I didn't ask you to pay for it, go catch it or go get it. Just cook it and you don't wanna even do that. Wow. Um I came downstairs to cook it. I didn't know when you wanted it or expected it. And I was downstairs waiting for you to thaw it o
    via u/Livid-Replacement-29
  • 11
    didn't want to do it. You're being unfair to me. I can't read your mind and know when you wanted it. You were complaining the whole time. I don't want nobody to do anything for me acting like that. When you ask me to do things for you. You want it done right then and I jump up and do it. I need to just start looking out for myself more. + ¡Message Ok mom. Delivered
    via u/Livid-Replacement-29
  • 12
    crazy dad whom i've been on no contact with since new years.
    via u/I_am_ghost_toast
  • 13
    Well, I got your balloons I'm presuming they're your ballon's since I don't know anyone else with a birthday around this time of year, except your Mom, of course I know you know but Mimi sent you a card. I trust you got it. I have, let's see, two Christmas presents (I had another one I wanted to give you after this last Christmas) now and two birthday presents I've been wanting to give you. Should I just keep stacking them up every year or should I just mail them to you? I'd really rather you ta
    via u/I_am_ghost_toast
  • 14
    Am I supposed to take that as a no? Did it feel good to rub your birthday in my face without even giving me a chance to say happy birthday to you in person? Trust me I didn't forget, as a matter of fact I will never forget Because #1. you're my child! and #2. YOU, were actually MY birthday present from your Mother almost 16 years ago... yeah, think about that, you'll get it eventually.
    via u/I_am_ghost_toast
  • 15
    Am I supposed to take that as a no? Did it feel good to rub your birthday in my face without even giving me a chance to say happy birthday to you in person? Trust me I didn't forget, as a matter of fact I will never forget Because #1. you're my child! and #2. YOU, were actually MY birthday present from your Mother almost 16 years ago... yeah, think about that, you'll get it eve pink with gold and silver (I think) round stuff inside them. Yeah? In the black trash bag under my yellow brick in the
    via u/I_am_ghost_toast
  • 16
    11:25 ◄ Safari < 5G 63 You do know the balloons, right? Multiple colors of pink with gold and silver (I think) round stuff inside them. Yeah? In the black trash bag under my yellow brick in the front yard next to the trailer? Yeah? Well if you didn't put them there and they were from your party then now you know how your people really are again. And if you did put them there; I guess I might see how a child could think that's funny, but really it's not, and it's just makes it all hurt that much
    via u/I_am_ghost_toast
  • 17
    Not a parent, but finally cut off emotionally abusive aunt and uncle. I feel at peace.
    via u/doopcat
  • 18
    This saga has been ongoing for 4 years, mostly out of respect for my dad, because I'm his primary caretaker and this uncle is his only brother. Otherwise they would have been blocked and forgotten much earlier. Today I realized I reached my limit trying to maintain the peace, and it culminated in a heated phone call that concluded with me telling them to "grow up" (which was apparently the most disrespectful thing I could have said). They've been blocked, and I finally feel a sense of calm.
    via u/doopcat
  • 19
    We are deleting all of you!!! We have never been so disrespected by anyone...you should all be ashamed of yourselves!!! Ditto!!! + Text Message Bye
    via u/doopcat
  • 20
    Text from my mom in response to me not wanting to celebrate Christmas with her
    via u/Simple_Gur_7851
  • 21
    30 11:20 Goh Goh > Tue, Dec 10 at 7:00 PM Hey I honestly don't know what my plans are yet, so don't worry about making your plans around me. Thanks for thinking of me though other brother Well it's not just you it's also and trying to see mommy on the same day as everyone else. Are you uninterested in seeing mommy this year or are you not interested in seeing her when I go? Thing is, Tue, Dec 10 at 9:29 PM and I didn't make a full plan yet and I want to see everyone on the same day which would b
    via u/Simple_Gur_7851
  • 22
    11:23 29 B (Older brother) 2 People Gohgoh read me your text re: Christmas. I cannot believe that you want to break a tradition we've had since Gohgoh was born. And since you like to use the word 'toxic' so much, I think you should examine the waters you're swimming in. Go ahead and test it. When you were with Ex b, you never missed a family event because Ex bf was all about family. Ex bfdidn't even dispose of you after your series of unfortunate events. Maybe your therapist has an MA or even a
    via u/Simple_Gur_7851
  • 23
    29 11:24 2 People people around you take the easy route and just dust off "shit". That's what your family means to you at this time. How sad and shameful that you're entering a phase/time when you've had both institutional and cultural educations, although I think you could do with a higher plane of thinking. The kind that comes through university education. You seem to have lost all the direction you were going when you were with Ex bf I'm talking about going back t! o school and achieving more
    via u/Simple_Gur_7851
  • 24
    My mom sold my bed (was a while ago)
    via u/Aromatic_Painter1730
  • 25
    So this is the text conversation I had with my mother about a month ago (sorry I didn't get to it until now) of my mom telling me she sold my bed. For context, I had a loft bed with a desk under it that had my tv and stuff, and some plushies and stuff. My mom went into my room when I wasn't there(I was at my fathers house) and basically trashed my floor, throwing all my stuff on the ground and completely taking my loft bed out of my room, including my mattress, and sold it. This was in November,
    via u/Aromatic_Painter1730
  • 26
    a new one. I have sensory issues so I often slept on the floor, but she knew I was in the process of cleaning off my loft bed so I could sleep up there, and yet she still sold it. I get that she knew i didn't like sleeping up there, but I'm angry at her for selling it without my permission and trashing my room, leaving me to clean it up by myself.
    via u/Aromatic_Painter1730
  • 27
    < 9:40- Mom > Text Message • RCS Fri, Nov 22 at 5:54 PM So i sold your loft bed and will be in your bedroom moving stuff 5G 87 Why? I will move it What about all my stuff on it? Why because you don't use it I will buy one Do we have a desk I can use then? Or you can use the living room table Alright Well I need a space for all the things that were on my desk, and my tv We will figure it out peanut. I just + Text Message • RCS
    via u/Aromatic_Painter1730

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