Man Kicks Teenage Son to the Curb After He Expresses Belief That Household Chores Are a 'Woman's Job' and Refuses to Even Learn

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Dec 28, 2024 8:00 PM EST

Welcome, tea-lovers of the internet. Unrestricted access to the internet these days exposes teens to the worst of the worst content creators. Indeed, just about anyone can have a podcast these days — and thus, a platform that projects their opinions to millions of susceptible ears. Certain online movements have convinced young men on the internet that being a man means that they shouldn't even know how to do basic household chores in order to live independently because they are tasks reserved 'only for women.' These naive young boys that get brainwashed by misogynist podcasts and YouTube Shorts have no idea that no woman would want to get married to a man that is incapable of doing his own laundry.

Our story today features one of the most successful cases of co-parenting known to man. Unfortunately, not every marriage ends in success. Some people are simply not meant to live and grow together, However, this does not necessarily stop them from working great as a team when it comes to parenting. In our story today, two divorced individuals succeed in teaching their son a lesson after he expresses his misogynistic beliefs surrounding household chores. Get all the details by scrolling down. 

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  • 01
    A few weeks ago, I was ironing clothes and told my son that I want to teach him how to do this, a I don't want him falling into the same mistake I did and never learning this on my own. He said he doesn't want to, and I just said he'll have to learn at some point. Then he said, "Only failed men do stuff like this."
    via Africa Images
  • 02
    r/AITAH u/Low Affect3539 • 13h AITAH for teaching my son after lesson and throwing him out after he said household chores are a woman's job?
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 03
    Throw away account as my son knows my real one, and I want some advice. I (34M) got a 16 year old son with my ex (34F). We had our son way too early in life; we lived on the same street growing up, and knew eachother from school. We fooled around sometimes and the rest is history.
    via u/Low_Affect3539

    A tale as old as time…

  • 04
    I'm ashamed to say but both our parents have been exceptionally controlling in both our lives up until the divorce, and both my ex and me were too much of a pushover to do anything about it. When they learned she was pregnant, they forced us to get married. They told me they want her as a SAHM and me to work.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 05
    My ex and I, we hated eachother for our stolen lives. We were never cruel to one another, and have never displayed any hatred in our house for our son's sake. But we slept in different bedrooms, and avoided eachother as much as we could. We split up after I caught her "cheating" which finally made us both able to break off the chains of control both our parents had over us and get divorced 2 years ago. Now everything is very good between us and I even consider her a friend, now that she's no lon
    via u/Low_Affect3539

    This is honestly the ideal scenario post-divorce.

  • 06
    And, credit where credit is due, she was however, a remarkable homemaker and an amazing mother. When we divorced, I had to learn all of this on my own. It was the first time I realised how much work goes into maintaining a house, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I had to look up YouTube tutorials on how to clean and cook.
    via u/Low_Affect3539

    Hey, man. At least you were willing to put in the work to learn!

  • 07
    A few weeks ago, I was ironing me and my sons clothes and told him that I want to teach him how to do this, as I don't want him falling into the same mistake I did and never learning this on my own. He said he doesn't want to and I just said he'll have to learn to do this at some point. He then said "only failed men do stuff like this and I won't be one of them."
    via u/Low_Affect3539

    Okay, red flag.

  • 08
    I stopped and looked up a bit bewildered and asked him to clarify. He said that it is his belief that this is a woman's job to do and that only simps do simple household chores. I tried to keep my composure as much as I could but asked if he saw me as a simp and he just shrugged.
    via u/Low_Affect3539

    My Latina mom would have whipped out La chancla so fast.

  • 09
    I told him that now he will have to choose his next words very carefully but I said that he will learn household work weather he likes it or not. He again reiterate what he said and I said well, if you think this is a woman's job, it's time for you to live with a woman and to pack his bag and to go to his mom's house, as I will not have any of that Andrew Tate bulls in my house.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 10
    My son lives with me during the week as his school is only 5 minutes away and his mom nearly 2 hours. He refused to make his bag so I made it for him, he started seeing the gravity of my seriousness and tried to backtrack on his words but I wasn't having any of it.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 11
    He must've called his mom in the time I was packing as she called me as well. She asked me what's going on and I told her what happened. Surprisingly she's on my side and has just asked me to drop him off at hers and she'll help teaching him a lesson.
    via u/Low_Affect3539

    What a co-parenting success story!

  • 12
    It's been about 2 weeks now that he lives with his mom, and she has been reinforcing the household chores on him. He's called me multiple times to apologise and asking me to come back, his mom and I agreed he's going to stick this up for a week or 2 after the holidays, and make him commute to school and do lesser household chores; and them let him come back to me to reinforce the consequence of his "belief"
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 13
    My friends that I spend Christmas with yesterday said I was rather hard and it was a move to uproot his life like this and it was an AH thing to do. So now I am questioning myself, was I the AH here?
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 14
    EDIT: This exploded far beyond what I had imagined to happen, I wanna say thanks to everyone for the kind words. For people saying otherwise I want to clarify a few things.
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  • 15
    1.I did not just ship off my son to my ex to teach him chores. My whole point was because he thinks chores should be a woman's job, he should live with a woman, even though he's seen me do those chores numerous of times. Whilst I may initially reacted impulsive, I was not going to just brush this under the rug if my ex wasn't on board.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 16
    I am more than willing to teach my son all this stuff myself, I was fortunate that my ex wife is onboard with this and is making him do chores, and as far as she told me she's a lot harsher and tougher on him than I would've been. I do agree however, that i should've given him a chores schedule a lot sooner, that's on me.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 17
    2. People comment on the commute from his mom to his school, we do not live in the US. We live in Germany and when I say it's 2 hours, this is with public transport. Someone even said that the 2 hour commute will result in him getting bad grades and warrants a CPS call. That one honestly made me chuckle.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 18
    3. I went over to my ex today and she, me and my son have had a good talk about this with him today. We explained that having his belief an opinion is his own; the moment this disrespects people it becomes toxic. We've sat him down and we've told him he is going to go to counselling twice a month now, instead of once every other month, as he will be talking about this specifically. We have never once interfered with his therapy but we will step in now, but only for this and this alone.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 19
    We will NOT be invading his privacy for any other matter. 4. The punishment my ex and I am letting him go for still stands. He will stay with her until mid January. We love our son with every fibre of our being, but he needs to know that some things just can not be allowed. Whilst he did show regret to his initial response, is a step in the good direction, I said that this is a deeper issue that has to be addressed.
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 20
    5. He WILL be getting a fixed chore schedule, whether he likes it or not. No more coasting the easy life. 18.6k 1,863 20 ✓ O
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  • 21
    Aggravating Ring 39 • 13h Awesome job coparenting and holding him accountable ... Reply 14k
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  • 22
    Limoughted12 • 12h They're teaching their son an important life lesson about respect and responsibility. It's not just about chores, it's about breaking toxic attitudes toward gender roles. He needed that wake-up call. 5.5k
    via u/Limoughted12
  • 23
    InternationalTexan71 • 13h I teach teens. Since you're both on the same page about teaching him a lesson, I applaud you. And points to you for recognizing it as toxic Andrew T nonsense. From here out, your young man makes his own lunch, does his own laundry, and takes more responsibility. No backsliding allowed.
    via u/InternationalTexan71

    This teen may be grumpy about the conesquences now, but his twenty-something self is thanking you from the future!

  • 24
    I would question, based on your description, if he's getting these ideas from his grandparents. Something to consider. ΝΤΑ ... Reply 3.4k
    via u/InternationalTexan71
  • 25
    Low_Affect3539 OP. 13h I don't think he does, though I am not sure. Neither my ex nor me prevented him from seeing them after the divorce as me and my ex cut all ties with both our parents, but he never mentioned them, and afaik, they never contacted him either. He never liked going to either set of grandparents growing up, as he said grandad smells (about my dad) when he was about 6. ← 1k
    via u/Low_Affect3539
  • 26
    JTBlakeinNYC 13h NTA. You two may not have been right for one another as spouses, but you're both amazing parents. ... Reply 24.1k
    via u/JTBlakeinNYC
  • 27
    MaryAnne0601 • 12h This is one of the best examples of cohesive coparenting I've heard of. Kudos to OP and his ex for both standing firm. ← 1.1k
    via u/MaryAnne0601
  • 28
    Interesting-Guard-97 • 13h NTA. You gave him a reality check that he needed, and it sounds like you and his mom are on the same page to teach him a valuable lesson. Better he learns this now than grows up with that mindset. Reply 12.7k
    via u/Interesting-Guard-97
  • 29
    Any_Fig2463 • 13h My mother taught my brother how to cook, clean, and wash his clothes before going to university, and he hated it. BUT, when he got to university, he was one of very few who could do those things, and he helped teach others how to feed themselves and wash their clothes, hahaha. NTA Reply 394
    via u/Any_Fig2463

    Shocking amount of university students do not know how to make eggs or properly wash a plate.

  • 30
    bbypreciious ⚫ 3h NTA. Your son needed to learn that those beliefs are outdated. Good on you and your ex for teaching him a lesson. It's 2024, not 1950. We love supportive co- parenting! Reply 304
    via u/bbypreciious

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