Woman reported to HR for ‘inappropriate dancing’ at a company party, likely by jealous coworker after she won the costume competition with handmade dress

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Dec 31, 2024 5:00 PM EST

Welcome, ladies of the internet. The boredom that results from the daily grind of the corporate lifestyle can drive anyone mad. Communicating exclusively in corporate jargon, constantly "circling back," and staring at a screen all day in a cubicle results in a unique monotony whose mind-numbing dullness can only be understood by office dwellers. Podcasts and audio-books, Safe for Work Reddit posts, and solitaire have saved many a corporate worker from the slow torture of boredom. However, some people's boredom can only be relieved by stirring the pot and watching the drama unfold.

In our story today, the memory of a joyful holiday work party turns sour after our protagonist is called into HR for her' inappropriate dancing.' She left the event having won an award for her handmade dress that she showed off with a strut during a costume competition. Her award-winning moves were apparently offensive enough to result in an anonymous report. To formulate your own opinion over our protagonist's dance moves and whether or not she deserved to be reprimanded, scroll down below!

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  • 01
    I got called in a few days after the party and told that my "dancing" had made "people" (I asked if there were multiple reports, they said there was only one) uncomfortable. They gave me the "work parties are still work" speech and let me go. They didn't even give me a chance to say anything.
    via photology2000
  • 02
    r/ r/coworkerstories u/chihuahuaiscross • 2d Join I got called into HR for "inappropriate dancing" at the company holiday party. Still annoyed
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 03
    Every year, my company hosts a big, formal holiday party with a Best Dressed competition. This year, I decided to go for it.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 04
    I've been sewing my own clothing for a few years now, and occasionally do costumes for drag and burlesque shows. In working on the costumes, I've learned a lot of "couture" techniques in gown- making (lots of feathers and beads and sparkle in both communities), but I haven't had the chance to make myself something wearable using anything I'd learned. The holiday party felt like the right time to make myself something beautiful and show it off.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 05
    I ended up making a floor-length, red satin gown with a big bow in the back, matching opera gloves, and a sparkly white faux fur stole. It was significantly less glittery than initially planned, but once the base came together, I decided I liked the look of the satin undisturbed and left it alone.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross

    Anyone can tell that this dress was lovingly crafted just by the way our protagonist describes the details and creative process. 

  • 06
    The dress was a big hit. It was glamorous, I felt beautiful in it, and people were shocked that I had made it myself. I won Best Dressed Overall.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross

    Winning Best Dressed with a costume you made yourself must feel so affirming.

  • 07
    Every time someone won, they got to go out onto the dance floor and do a little fashion walk, spin around, answer a couple questions, then go and sit down. When it was my turn to walk, I did a few things I've seen at burlesque shows, drag shows, and probably a few old Hollywood movies. I did the slow side-step with wavy arms. I shrugged off the stole to better show off the bow and looked down over my shoulder. I think I did a three-step turn at some point. Nothing racy or inappropriate, and less
    via u/chihuahuaiscross

    Sounds like classic beauty pageant moves.

  • 08
    Anyway, someone reported it to HR. I got called in a few days after the party and told that my "dancing" had made "people" (I asked if there were multiple reports, they said there was only one) uncomfortable. They gave me the "work parties are still work" speech and let me go. They didn't even really give me a chance to say anything.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross

    Sounds like someone was eyeing the Best Dressed prize and couldn't handle another coworker taking the spotlight.

  • 09
    I'm so frustrated. The dress was work party- appropriate, my walk was work party-appropriate, and no one has said a single negative thing to my face. I'm still proud of myself and the dress, but it feels like majorly misplaced effort. What a cruddy way to start the break and end the work year.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 10
    EDIT: Oh wow, I did NOT expect the response this has gotten! I think I was still annoyed because I hadn't really gotten to talk to anyone about it yet. Thank you for letting me vent, and sharing your perspectives, HR stories, and humor. I feel a lot lighter just reading through the comments!
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 11
    I just want to clarify two things, since I think my mention of "burlesque" has (rightfully) made it sound like I brought my inner Jessica Rabbit to a stuffy work function.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 12
    First, is that the moves I added to my walk are not specific to burlesque, and can be found in virtually ALL forms of dance. I only mentioned burlesque and drag because that's where I learned about them (I am not a dancer and never have been!) and their functions on a stage.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 13
    The sideways walk is used a lot in burlesque and drag because it's a really, really good way to show an audience your outfit without just doing a regular catwalk around the stage. Moving sideways keeps your torso (so the front of the outfit) facing the audience, and arms up/out/on the hips keeps the outfit in full view. There are variations of this seen in
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 14
    things like musicals, ballroom dance (when couples are entering the floor), and the wavy arms are, I think, inspired by ballet. Depending on how you move, it can be really graceful, very , or kind of camp (like "purse first"). I was trying to be graceful, show off the dress, and make the glitter on the stole sparkle a little (hence the arm waving).
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 15
    Second, almost everyone who walks each year does their best impression (or a really campy imitation) of a fashion model's catwalk. Some people REALLY swing their hips, and most people stop at the end of the "runway" and do the "model" hip pop and over the shoulder look into the "camera." Last year, the guy who won best dressed showed up in a gold sequin suit and did a genuine ballroom (Paris is Burning ballroom, not waltz ballroom) catwalk that would have been very scandalous if a woman had done
    via u/chihuahuaiscross

    It sounds like such a fun, silly time! It's such a shame that some people are immune to fun and can't handle when others enjoy themselves. 

  • 16
    There's also time for actual dancing towards the end of the night, and there are definitely people every year who get a little loose. I think somebody did get called in for dr nk twerking last year, but she was kind of a mess that whole month, so it might have been something else.
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 17
    I do understand that maybe my attempt at being graceful may have come off sexier than intended. I was banking on the fact that the moves are not burlesque or drag specific, the gown itself is not form fitting (it's a full skirt), and felt that others swaying their hips down the "runway" was less work-appropriate than ballerina arms. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was right (the comments seem split!), but I'll come up with something else if I get to walk again next year. Thanks again for the laughs a
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 18
    pigpigmentation • 2d Someone was jealous and rained on the parade. That's so lame! Your dress sounds amazing and I'd probably be bitter AF if I were in your position. Everyone is an adult and a couple shoulders... suggestive or not shouldn't be called out. I'm sorry. ← Reply 1.3k
    via u/pigpigmentation
  • 19
    chihuahuaiscross OP 2d I wish it was something less childish, but I think you're probably right. I don't know everyone in the company, but I can't think of any of my coworkers being offended, and I wasn't the only woman in a sleeveless dress with a shawl. If ALL the shoulders that night were reported, then I feel bad for HR. 447
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 20
    JoJoShoo 2d And this is why I don't go to company events. Too many people just waiting to stir the pot Reply D û 88 ↓
    via u/JoJoShoo

    Corporate life can be pretty boring, and some people just love to watch the world burn.

     

  • 21
    Kurious_Kat720 • 2d That reason and so many others. Usually as many reasons as people attending. 500 17
    via u/Kurious_Kat720
  • 22
    Axiluvia • 2d I would bet hard money that it was a married couple and the husband complimented you to his wife, and the wife decided it needed to be an HR issue. ... Reply Dr û 20
    via u/Axiluvia
  • 23
    Straphanger28 • 2d They had a best dressed competition at a work party? Reply Q Ŵ 57 ♡
    via u/Straphanger28
  • 24
    chihuahuaiscross OP.2d It's one of a couple excuses to hand out gift cards and vouchers, which in turn encourage people to show up and stay longer. They have a few different categories (most festive, ugliest sweater, company colors) and some years people really I have fun with it. 56
    via u/chihuahuaiscross
  • 25
    Titariia • 2d And this year someone was determined to win best dressed but you overshined them and now they're bitter because they got ugliest sweater instead (or more likely didn't even get recognized) 580 26 д
    via u/Titariia
  • 26
    exhausted247365 • 2d I've seen this before. Some people think that being pretty is inappropriate. I'm not dressed inappropriately or doing anything inappropriate. I'm just pretty. That's what makes them uncomfortable. ← Reply 18 ...
    via u/exhausted247365

    There's pretty privilege, and there's also pretty shaming.

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fashion corporate jealous work drama toxic-workplace Female Empowerment coworkers reddit story relationships human resources love workplace reddit thread Reddit
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