‘When is enough enough?’: Mother-in-law demands woman give back family heirloom wedding ring because she isn't able to have kids, woman vehemently refuses

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    "MIL stated she wants it to stay in the family, my husband said 'we are family.""
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    My MIL (65f) asking for my (34F) wedding ring back twice "you haven't had kids"
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    My husband (40m) and I (34f) have been married for 9 years. His family has been absolutely horrible for about 7 of those. Everyone is local to our area.
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    Readers digest: MIL (65f) used to be a real estate agent/RE firm manager. She helped my BIL and his affair (while his wife was pregnant with twins) secretly purchase a home,
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    while lying to his wife. BIL then two-timed wife and mistress for 3 years, my MIL enabled and lied in wild ways to help him keep it secret (truly). 6 years ago, MIL was discovered
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    to have committed wire fraud, escrow fraud, and possible embezzlement of $300,000+ from her real estate firm. IRS investigated and could not find evidence enough to
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    charge her criminally for embezzlement, but MIL did lose her RE license permanently (her mom paid off the other crimes/settled outside of court). MIL has since been
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    on the verge of a 3rd bankruptcy while trying to sell life insurance to pay her bills. My FIL (70m) is in terrible health. MIL has told me "you caused BIL to cheat - when you and husband
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    got married, BIL lost his entire support and best friend". We sat down and had a conversation with MIL and FIL about this and other issues. It was received but not really improved after.
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    Husband and I did marriage counseling 4 years ago to figure out how to save ourselves from this insanity. Decided to see them 2x a year, basically Easter and
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    Christmas/Thxgiving at most. He's in therapy weekly now and recognizes the toxicity. 3 years ago on Christmas, we had MIL, FIL over for Christmas. MIL waited for my husband to leave the
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    room, and asked for my heirloom wedding ring back. Husband overheard, came back in, and MIL stated it was because she "wanted it to stay in the family with a grandchild,
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    Cheezburger Image 10449068800
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    and we hadn't had kids." We said absolutely not, that was my ring. This year on Christmas, she asked for it AGAIN. Once again, claiming she wants to give it to our neice (3yo, product of the
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    BIL affair) as we haven't had kids. My husband got angry and shut it down. (We should have just walked out.) MIL stated she wants it to stay in the family, my husband said "we are family."
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    I'm so over it. A pregnancy would be very high-risk for me, so this repeated issue is triggering, hurtful, frustrating. We've thought about fostering/adopting. My in-laws would not see that child as a 'true grandchild' (their issue).
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    When is enough enough? I'm tired of going to even 1 event per year and feeling emotionally a sed at the end of it. I'm ready to go no-contact. I don't want to put my husband in a
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    situation where he has to choose because I did. Our marriage is wonderful, but his family is just too much. We have amazing friends and 'chosen family'.
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    Mobile... Go NC. Easy. If he wants to continue going to one event a year, so be it. But enough is enough for you. Cut them off and enjoy the peace.
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    FinanciallySecu... I rarely see my inlaws, and I don't stop my husband from seeing them. I don't make him choose. I simply have said that I'm not going, but have a great time. Holidays are no issue because I see my husband every day. If he
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    isn't here on the obligatory date, then so be it. He recognizes the toxicity, and stays just present enough. You can do the same.
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    madgirlv6 Bet she wants it for its value. Get it valued and tell her it's only worth a few pounds as the stone is cracked or something. Bet she stops. asking for it
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    old_mates_sla When is enough enough? Enough is enough now. You can and should go no contact with them and let your Husband decide on his level of contact. That's his business.
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    If it was me, i'd move to a different town or city, far enough away that they won't visit but close enough for your husband to get a flight or whatever to visit should he choose. Run for the hills my dear, you don't belong in crazy town.
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    Your sanity and self esteem are more important than these people. Protect it.
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