‘When is enough enough?’: Mother-in-law demands woman give back family heirloom wedding ring because she isn't able to have kids, woman vehemently refuses

In-law relationships are like a glass house. One never truly knows their place in the family dynamic and navigating what one can and can't do is as tricky as getting out of a Chinese finger trap. All the ladies know that a hostile mother-in-law can be the breaking point in a relationship, especially when your husband does not have your back. This can be for a number of reasons, but it all leads back to Mama's boy behavior.

Luckily, the user who posted this story has a husband who refuses to let his mother treat his wife with disrespect. The user expresses that her husband's family life has always been toxic and his mother is likely the root cause of it all. There has been infidelity, embezzlement, and sickness throughout his life, but his wife has given him the space to understand how it has affected him. Aside from this mother-in-law's claims that this user caused her brother-in-law to cheat on his pregnant wife, she is now asking for the family heirloom wedding ring back because she cannot have biological kids. This user and her husband give this mother-in-law a piece of their minds. Scroll to read the entire story, including some commenters' two cents.

Author image for Lana DeGaetano Lana DeGaetano
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  • 01
    "MIL stated she wants it to stay in the family, my husband said 'we are family.""
    via Karolina Grabowska For Unsplash+
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  • 02
    My MIL (65f) asking for my (34F) wedding ring back twice "you haven't had kids"
    via 80hanes
  • 03
    My husband (40m) and I (34f) have been married for 9 years. His family has been absolutely horrible for about 7 of those. Everyone is local to our area.
    via 80hanes
  • 04
    Readers digest: MIL (65f) used to be a real estate agent/RE firm manager. She helped my BIL and his affair (while his wife was pregnant with twins) secretly purchase a home,
    via 80hanes
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  • 05
    while lying to his wife. BIL then two-timed wife and mistress for 3 years, my MIL enabled and lied in wild ways to help him keep it secret (truly). 6 years ago, MIL was discovered
    via 80hanes
  • 06
    to have committed wire fraud, escrow fraud, and possible embezzlement of $300,000+ from her real estate firm. IRS investigated and could not find evidence enough to
    via 80hanes
  • 07
    charge her criminally for embezzlement, but MIL did lose her RE license permanently (her mom paid off the other crimes/settled outside of court). MIL has since been
    via 80hanes
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  • 08
    on the verge of a 3rd bankruptcy while trying to sell life insurance to pay her bills. My FIL (70m) is in terrible health. MIL has told me "you caused BIL to cheat - when you and husband
    via 80hanes
  • 09
    got married, BIL lost his entire support and best friend". We sat down and had a conversation with MIL and FIL about this and other issues. It was received but not really improved after.
    via 80hanes
  • 10
    Husband and I did marriage counseling 4 years ago to figure out how to save ourselves from this insanity. Decided to see them 2x a year, basically Easter and
    via 80hanes
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  • 11
    Christmas/Thxgiving at most. He's in therapy weekly now and recognizes the toxicity. 3 years ago on Christmas, we had MIL, FIL over for Christmas. MIL waited for my husband to leave the
    via 80hanes
  • 12
    room, and asked for my heirloom wedding ring back. Husband overheard, came back in, and MIL stated it was because she "wanted it to stay in the family with a grandchild,
    via 80hanes
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10449068800
    via Andre Tan For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 14
    and we hadn't had kids." We said absolutely not, that was my ring. This year on Christmas, she asked for it AGAIN. Once again, claiming she wants to give it to our neice (3yo, product of the
    via 80hanes
  • 15
    BIL affair) as we haven't had kids. My husband got angry and shut it down. (We should have just walked out.) MIL stated she wants it to stay in the family, my husband said "we are family."
    via 80hanes

  • Right off the bat, anyone can notice that this family is seriously dysfunctional—specifically, the user's mother-in-law. Everyone has had their fair share of trying to get in the good graces of their in-laws, but some people are simply impossible to get along with no matter how much compromising is done.

    Aside from the mother-in-law's behavior with her biological family (which is a whole can of worms in and of itself,) she also blames the user for her brother-in-law's infidelity. This is a classic case of scapegoating, as the mother-in-law doesn't want to actualize the fact that her son has done something immoral.

    Nobody is to blame for the brother-in-law's infidelity but himself, and luckily, this user knows that, too. The animosity between this user and her mother-in-law started off one-sided, but a person can only take so much from another individual until they break. The breaking point here? Taking back a family heirloomwedding ring because she can't have biological children. Commenters suggest that the mother-in-law might have monetary motives if she gets the ring back.

  • 16
    I'm so over it. A pregnancy would be very high-risk for me, so this repeated issue is triggering, hurtful, frustrating. We've thought about fostering/adopting. My in-laws would not see that child as a 'true grandchild' (their issue).
    via 80hanes
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  • 17
    When is enough enough? I'm tired of going to even 1 event per year and feeling emotionally a sed at the end of it. I'm ready to go no-contact. I don't want to put my husband in a
    via 80hanes
  • 18
    situation where he has to choose because I did. Our marriage is wonderful, but his family is just too much. We have amazing friends and 'chosen family'.
    via 80hanes
  • 19
    Mobile... Go NC. Easy. If he wants to continue going to one event a year, so be it. But enough is enough for you. Cut them off and enjoy the peace.
    via MobilePop2498
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  • 20
    FinanciallySecu... I rarely see my inlaws, and I don't stop my husband from seeing them. I don't make him choose. I simply have said that I'm not going, but have a great time. Holidays are no issue because I see my husband every day. If he
    via FinanciallySecure9
  • 21
    isn't here on the obligatory date, then so be it. He recognizes the toxicity, and stays just present enough. You can do the same.
    via FinanciallySecure9
  • 22
    madgirlv6 Bet she wants it for its value. Get it valued and tell her it's only worth a few pounds as the stone is cracked or something. Bet she stops. asking for it
    via madgirlv6
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  • 23
    old_mates_sla When is enough enough? Enough is enough now. You can and should go no contact with them and let your Husband decide on his level of contact. That's his business.
    via old_mates_sla**
  • 24
    If it was me, i'd move to a different town or city, far enough away that they won't visit but close enough for your husband to get a flight or whatever to visit should he choose. Run for the hills my dear, you don't belong in crazy town.
    via old_mates_sla**
  • 25
    Your sanity and self esteem are more important than these people. Protect it.
    via old_mates_sla**
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