Pregnant Maid of Honor Demands Bride Change Wedding Date to Fit Her Due Date, She Rallies Friends Against Her After Bride Refuses Due to Cost

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Dec 10, 2024 5:00 PM EST

Welcome, internet-surfin sisters. Planning a wedding is extremely difficult. Even a small wedding requires careful coordination in order to make all the necessary reservations. It is the norm for wedding planning to start a year or two years ahead of the wedding date. Changing the date can cost an arm and a leg with all the cancellation fees as well as the price to make new reservations. It's really not worth the effort unless the bride or the groom are ill or otherwise unable to make it due to unforeseen circumstances.

In our story today, the maid of honor-to-be requested that her BFF bride reschedule her wedding because she got pregnant and would likely be indisposed to perform her bridesmaid duties on the day of the wedding. Our protagonist, the bride, was completely floored by this entitled and egocentric demand. She refused but did not expect the backlash from friends after her bestie rallied everyone against her. Get all the details by scrolling down. 

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  • 01
    “I love her, but there's no way to reschedule everything at this point without losing thousands of dollars. Sara got even more upset, accusing me of prioritizing money over our friendship. She basically told me that if our roles were reversed, she'd move mountains to make sure I could be there for her big day."
    via Helgy
  • 02
    r/Amlthe ss ole u/Maximum-Implement181 • 12h AITA for refusing to change my wedding date because my best friend is pregnant?
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 03
    1 (24F) got engaged to my fiancé, Luke (27M), last year, and we're getting married in early September. We've been planning this wedding for over a year, and everything is set: the venue, the dress, the catering, you name it. My best friend, Sara (26F), has been super involved in the planning process. She's my maid of honor, and I couldn't imagine the day without her.
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 04
    Here's the issue: Sara recently found out she's pregnant and is due at the end of August. She told me last week and was really excited, but then she said, "So, I guess we need to figure out a new wedding date."
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 05
    I was confused and asked what she meant. She explained that she probably wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding because she'll either be in the hospital or recovering with a newborn. I told her I understood, but we couldn't change the date because we've already paid deposits, sent out save- the-dates, and the like. Sara got really upset and said something along the lines of "But I'm your best friend! How can you have your wedding without me there?"
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 06
    I tried to explain that it's not personal-I love her, but there's no way to reschedule everything at this point without losing thousands of dollars. Sara got even more upset, accusing me of prioritizing money over our friendship. She basically told me if the roles were reversed, she'd move mountains to make sure I could be there for her big day.
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 07
    I offered to find ways to include her in the ceremony even if she couldn't physically be there, like setting up a live stream or something like that, maybe even doing a special dinner after the baby is born. But she shut that down, saying it's not the same. She thinks it's selfish of me not to consider that this is once in a lifetime moment for her too, becoming a mom for the first time and being part of her best friend's wedding.
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 08
    To make things more awkward, Sara has been rallying some of our mutual friends, who now think I'm the villain for not budging. They've said things like, "It's just a wedding, but a baby is forever," or, "This is a sign you care more about the event than the people in your life." One even suggested I have a smaller, symbolic ceremony later in the year so Sara could attend, which feels ridiculous considering how much we've already invested.
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 09
    Meanwhile, my mom and fiancé are firmly on my side. My mom even said it's entitled of Sara to expect me to rearrange everything for her, especially since she didn't consult me before planning to have a baby (not that she needs my permission, obviously). Luke is supportive but thinks I should let Sara cool off and focus on enjoying the wedding with the people who can be there.
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 10
    I feel torn. I don't want to hurt Sara, but I also feel like this is my wedding, and it's not fair to expect me to rearrange everything for something that was completely out of my control. Am I really being. selfish for refusing to change the date? 2,312 863
    via u/Maximum-Implement181
  • 11
    QUD MEMBER LingonberryNo2455 • 12h Ahle Enthusiast [8] NTA, you're not being selfish at all, but she most certainly is. Your wedding is YOUR and your fiancé's day, not hers. As for expecting you to lose thousands just for her, I'd be re-evaluating the friendship tbh, especially if she's sh stirring amongst other friends.
    via u/LingonberryNo2455
  • 12
    That doesn't sound much like someone who wants you to be happy and can't be centre of attention. And while it's horrible to say, if she's newly pregnant, there's a chance of miscarriage early on, so you could do this and she ends up not having a baby. I hope it doesn't happen but would she repay you the money you'd lose? If the answer's no, then you can see how much she prioritises her money over the friendship. Reply 3 4.7k
    via u/LingonberryNo2455
  • 13
    Hawaiianstylin808 • 11h Part ipant [2] Complain about how selfish she was to get pregnant when you had your wedding scheduled. If money is coming between them she can reimburse all the money for the rescheduled wedding. No? Then wedding proceeds. NTA. She is ridiculous. 1.9k
    via u/Hawaiianstylin808
  • 14
    DrZombie187 • 10h I love this! How dare she get pregnant now?! That was super inconsiderate of her. (Obviously sarcasm) life happens, things overlap. She needs to get over it. Nta ... 693
    via u/DrZombie187
  • 15
    IgnotusPeverill • 10h Ah le Enthusiast [5] I'm not sure Sara is really a "friend." A friend, especially a best friend, would not go so far as to start to bad mouth OP to friends and rally them against OP. That is not a friend. 315
    via u/IgnotusPeverill
  • 16
    Decent-Algae • 11h Offer for her to pay the costs associated with a new date. The lost deposits and possible vendors, the additional cost for another weekend, the new save the dates, the awkward phone calls. If its so important she physically be there, she can move those mountains she thinks are no big deal Edit- nta ... Reply 1480
    via u/Decent-Algae
  • 17
    Justletmesew • 11h Exactly! Also include the mutual friends who think Sara is right here. They can all contribute to the lost fees associated with the change of date. All said with my tongue in cheek because it's so impossibly ridiculous to expect OP to change the date......SHEESH! ... Q 89 ↓
    via u/Justletmesew
  • 18
    ilovechairs 10h I'd literally be like, "Oh you agree with Sarah? How much are you contributing to the cost of moving the date? Because it's expensive." 44
    via u/ilovechairs
  • 19
    iradrachen 2h • I would also love to also add up any costs for family and friends changing travel plans or losing PTO. I would be going deep to find a real total to cover every expense for everyone and the time I'll spend moving everything.
    via u/iradrachen
  • 20
    edebby • 11h Surgeon [42] NTA. What an entitled little brat.... How can there be a wedding if I'm not there? It's simple. You only need two people to perform the wedding. The bride and the groom. Let the entire guest list stop doing everything because you forgot to wear protection. Sheesh. Reply 84
    via u/edebby
  • 21
    analyst19 12h . NTA. Supreme Court Just- [149] Hopefully it's just pregnancy hormones rather than Sara becoming a sociopath. ← Reply û 51 ♡
    via u/analyst19
  • 22
    goldenfingernails 11h. Surgeon [43] Sarah has no business asking you to move your wedding. Big life events can pile up at once. You should not have to sacrifice. Besides, she's now making your wedding about her. I agree with your fiancé, let her cool off a bit, but be firm. Edit: NTA ← Reply 23
    via u/goldenfingernails
  • 23
    Royally Oakie • 12h Judge, Jury, and Ex ner [394] NTA...your wedding is not about her. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. ← Reply 10
    via u/RoyallyOakie

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friendship pregnancy wedding drama bridesmaids toxic reddit story relationships wedding couples love entitled pregnant reddit thread red flag Reddit Maid Of Honor
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