Man’s friend disrespects wife by incessantly calling her by his ex’s name, she gets heated when he fails to use her real name, but husband takes friend’s side

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 4, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. How people treat us holds a lot of weight. If we feel disrespected, it can affect our interpersonal relationships with those around us. Knowing how to confront someone mistreating you is also not always easy to navigate. Do you approach them and tell them what's wrong? Do you ignore it? It all depends on the relationship you have with the person, and how comfortable you are with confrontation. Sometimes push comes to shove, and you're left with no choice but to talk to them straight out. 

In this story, the protagonist is a woman who's feeling disrespected by her husband's good friend. He consistently refers to her as her husband's ex's name. Of course, we all make mistakes, but slipping up this often when they're already married? There's no excuse for that kind of behavior. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    The first time it happened, I let it go. The second and third times, I corrected him politely. But it kept happening, and now it feels deliberate. For example, we were at dinner recently, and Jake called me Laura three times in one evening. Each time, I corrected him, and he just laughed it off, saying, "Old habits "> hard."
    via @pexels
  • 02
    • r/AITAH 10 hr. ago LyraOO AITA for telling my husband's friend to stop calling me by his ex- wife's name?
    via u/LyraOO

    This is beyond ridiculous. There's no reason to be consistently forgetting someone's name. It's such an insult. Is she merely seen as a wife, that she doesn't have an identity beyond her husband? Is she not her own person with life experiences and a story? He has the worst excuse in the world. Sure buddy, that makes sense. I guess a grown man can't be expected to remember his friend's wife's name. The bar is so low. 

  • 03
    My husband (35M) and I (32F) have been married for two years, and everything has been great- except for his best friend, Jake (36M). Jake is nice enough most of the time, but he has this habit of calling me by my husband's ex- wife's name, Laura.
    via u/LyraOO

    They've even been married for two years! It's not as if they're dating, and she's dispensable; they've sealed the deal! How can you treat your friend's wife in this way? 

  • 04
    Laura and my husband divorced five years ago, long before I was in the picture. I've never met her, but from what I understand, Jake was very close to her. My husband says Jake just "slips up" sometimes because he's known Laura for years.
    via u/LyraOO
  • 05
    The first time it happened, I let it go. The second and third times, I corrected him politely. But it kept happening, and now it feels deliberate. For example, we were at dinner recently, and Jake called me Laura three times in one evening. Each time, I corrected him, and he just laughed it off, saying, "Old habits di_hard."
    via u/LyraOO
  • 06
    Finally, I snapped and told Jake, "My name is [my name], not Laura, and if you can't respect that, maybe you shouldn't come around anymore." He looked shocked, and my husband told me later that I embarrassed Jake in front of everyone.
    via u/LyraOO
  • 07
    Now Jake is saying I overreacted and that it was an innocent mistake, but I'm not so sure. My husband is torn―he understands why I'm upset but thinks I should've handled it more privately. Am I the j for calling Jake out in public?
    via u/LyraOO
  • 08
    ४ lydocia 9h ago Top 1% Commenter You've tried handling it politely, now it's time to embarrass him. "Wow dude, Laura again?! Do you have a crush on her or something?"
    via u/lydocia
  • 09
    "I'm honestly worried about your mental health. Early Alzheimer's maybe?" "Were you thinking about Laura again?"
    via u/lydocia
  • 10
    mommacrossx3 • 10h ago Top 1% Commenter NTA but your husband needs to correct Jake...by repetition, loudness level or putting in a time out by refusing to hang if he can't get it right. He is letting Jake be ride to you. It needs to stop.
    via u/mommacrossx3
  • 11
    dr_lucia 10h ago Top 1% Commenter This slip up is weird. I mean.... his being close to Laura doesn't explain the mistake. In fact, it should mean he knows you are not Laura!
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 12
    I embarrassed Jake in front of everyone. who was "everyone"? If this was dinner, I can't imagine it was more than 4 or 5 people. Jake is a grown up. He should be able to survive this.
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 13
    Obviously, you can only really correct him when he's just made the mistake. That keeps happening in public. NTA.
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 14
    Away-Understa... • 10h ago Top 1% Commenter • If your husband wanted it. handled privately why didn't he do it? You had already brought this up to him so he should be defending you. To me, it is deliberate because you have corrected him several times. Jake deserves to be embarrassed.
    via u/Away-Understa
  • 15
    LyraOO OP 10h ago · My husband says Jake hasn't seen or talked to Laura in years, but they were close when my husband and Laura were married.
    via u/LyraOO
  • 16
    It just feels like he's holding onto something. Maybe he's not over her being out of their friend group, or maybe he just doesn't like me for some reason. I've tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it's hard when it keeps happening.
    via u/LyraOO
  • 17
    • R... 9h ago Edited 9h ago I accidentally called my son's girlfriend by his ex's name the first few times I met her. No ill intent and no excuses, I'm just bad with names - like really, really bad. I'm known for it.
    via u/RWAdvice
  • 18
    I'm telling you this because I know for a fact that, after 2 years of marriage, this is NOT a slip up. I got it right after the third visit and no one had to complain or call me out. That's what "Old habits di hard." looks like. This "friend" is doing it on purpose and your husband
    via u/RWAdvice
  • 19
    needs to wake up and smell the malice. NTAH
    via u/RWAdvice
  • 20
    Dull-Crew 1428 • 9h ago • Top 5% Commenter start calling your hubby one of your exs names see if it bothers him
    via u/Dull-Crew 1428
  • 21
    KarizmaWithak • 9h ago • Jake calling you by Laura's name is very deliberate. It's not an "innocent mistake." He just didn't expect you to call him out like that. Perhaps you should call him (or you husband) by the name of one of your exes and see how they like it.
    via u/KarizmaWithak

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