16-year-old daughter demands to go live with grandparents after her dad forces her to participate in family therapy with stepmother and sister, dad takes offense: ‘Your happy family fantasy isn't reality’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 2, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Every kid goes through a phase when they think their family is the absolute worst. Hating on our parents and everything about them is just a part of growing up, it almost doesn't even matter if they are good or bad parents at all. 

While every teenager gathers notes on why they think their parents deserve the title of 'Worst Parent of the Year', it is no secret that some parents deserve that award more than others. If all your parents did when you were 16 was give you a curfew and ground you if you broke it, then the only award they got was the 'Most Normal Parent of the Year', like millions of other parents around the world.

That being said, I am not claiming that the father in this story deserves the 'Worst Parent of the Year' title, mainly because he is clearly trying to make his family work. However, his parenting methods are quite questionable, so it comes as no surprise that his daughter is left wanting to move with her grandparents instead, especially after being forced to participate in a family therapy session with him, her stepmother, and her 13-year-old step-sister. Keep scrolling to read what happened with this dysfunctional family in therapy, and following it.

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10449333248
    via Polina Zimmerman from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for saying I won't ever be close to my half sister and I wish I could have stayed with my grandparents?
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 03
    My dad, stepmother, half sister (13) and I (16) are in family therapy. My dad was concerned about mine and my half sister's strained relationship and my distant relationship with his wife
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 04
    and he wanted us to finally come together as a family. My parents broke up when mom was pregnant with me and divorced after I was born. Dad moved states for a job
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 05
    Dad moved states for a job which was part of what broke them up. So he didn't see me a lot. He had to fly back and forth to see me until I was 2 and then I would fly out to him. He
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 06
    married my stepmother when I was 2. My half sister was born when I was 3. Even when we were little there wasn't a whole lot of closeness and I'd miss my mom and want to go home more than I wanted to be with them.
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 07
    My mom and I lived with my grandparents. So I had the three of them at home and it was amazing. I was always way closer to them.
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 08
    My mom did when I was 9 and my grandparents asked dad if I could stay with them. I wanted to and I did say it then but he said I belonged with my family. It was really upsetting and stuff and things were always so
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 09
    awkward. I didn't want to be with them, but my dad really wanted me there and my relationship was never too great with any of them. With dad it was only a little better.
    via Character-Speed8086

  • From a parent's perspective, I can definitely understand this father's attempts to make his family happy, and not wanting to let go of his first daughter just because her mother is no longer a part of their life. He wanted to show her that he had no intention of giving up on her and that she was part of the family no matter what.

    However, despite his good intentions, maybe the best thing for your kids is for them to be heard, and if the 16-year-old prefers living with her grandparents, perhaps accepting her wishes is the better option. It shows her that her dad cares about what makes her happy, and is willing to listen and make sacrifices to ensure it happens.

    So was uprooting her life and making her move with him the right decision? Keep reading to find out…

  • 10
    My half sister started complaining about me a lot around a year ago. Saying I hogged our shared family and that I didn't treat her mom like I should. She said I was a mean girl to her mom because I didn't
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 11
    remind people of her mom when I was told I look like my mom, which I do look like my mom. And I do get comments on that from my mom's side and my dad's side. I'd ignore her and she'd complain about
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 12
    that and say I didn't care what she thought of me and I didn't care about her mom and how wrong that is because her mom's the best and she's my mom now too. Dad eventually
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 13
    was like okay, we need therapy together and we started three months ago. We were all given the chance to speak about what we felt was wrong, what was bothering us
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 14
    and stuff. My half sister repeated all her complaints about me but she goes on and on about it and how annoyed she is that I don't tell people about her mom when they say I look like mine. She also went on
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 15
    and on about how she feels like our shared family favor me and stuff. She ignored when asked if they see her more, because she knows they have. Not even just before but I do go to spend
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 16
    time with my maternal family and when I do I'm not around to see them. And I went years sometimes without seeing dad's side. My stepmother didn't say much. My dad went over how
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 17
    he wants us to be closer and how it bothers him that my half. sister and I aren't close at all. And how it's like we just met and things are strained in that way. He said we always knew each other and I've lived with them for so many years now.
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10449333504
    via Sengchoy Int

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    I talked about how I didn't care how my half sister felt about me or saw me and how I don't need to talk about her mom when people say I look like my mom. I was asked about losing mom and then moving. I was told I
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 20
    should be honest. This was in a recent session and I said I wish I had been allowed to stay with my grandparents. That I missed them and wished I could live with them. How they were my home and my family even with mom gone. And I said my half
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 21
    sister and I won't ever be close. We never were before and I don't think we'll see much of each other when I can decide to leave. I said we're just very different and there will always be a lack of bond, at least on my part.
    via Character-Speed8086

  • Family therapy is a nice idea in theory, but I never once heard of that situation actually working and improving a family's situation. It comes as no surprise that it did not help here either, especially since it was so forced and just felt like a combined attack on the 16-year-old daughter, despite all her struggles to fit in with the family.

    Good for her that she stood up to her step-sister, and didn't let her father keep him up with his delusion that their family would be fixed. This actually depends on them putting in the world, which does not seem to be the case here.

  • 22
    My dad was really upset about the stuff I said and he talked to me afterward and asked me why I'd say the stuff about my grandparents like that. He said he's my family and so are his family. He also told me he couldn't believe there was no bond with my half sister at all.
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 23
    My half sister was really angry at me for saying the things I did. She told me I should care way more about this stuff. AITA?
    via Character-Speed8086
  • 24
    BulbasaurRanch Not the ah le at all Your father's happy family fantasy isn't reality and he can't deal with it. That's on him. He can't force a relationship with your half sister.
    via BulbasaurRanch
  • 25
    You were right to be honest that you wished you lived with your grandparents. You've done nothing wrong. Your half sisters opinion doesn't matter. Really, it's of zero value to you. Her feelings are her own to deal with, and it's not your responsibility to placate her.
    via BulbasaurRanch
  • 26
    Ok_Reach_6527 NTA Top 5% Commenter You need to tell the therapist that "your family" attacked you after therapy for what you said, so you can't be honest anymore in therapy because it isn't really a safe space for you.
    via Ok_Reach_6527
  • 27
    Ok_Structure4685 The problem here is that your father took you to therapy not with the intention of repairing a relationship, but believing that he needed to "fix" you. If your father doesn't understand that, then
    via Ok_Structure4685
  • 28
    therapy and any healthy relationship will not succeed. Therapy is meant to help and support each other, not to "fix" you. NTA.
    via Ok_Structure4685
  • 29
    TerrorAlpaca NTA Ask your dad what he thinks how you would react if he didn't make his youngest daughter stop with comments? Why her stupid would you need to talk about HER mom when you have a different
    via TerrorAlpaca
  • 30
    mom? SHE is the one that can not accept reality. If she'd stopped who knows how you relationship could have been, but instead she kept pushing and pushing and pushing you away to a point that NOW you can not wait to be old enough and leavet his house.
    via TerrorAlpaca
  • 31
    United-Manner20 Top 1% Commenter NTA and you did the right thing by speaking your truth. He had a vision in his head. He would fully blend in with her family and one unit, and that was never your attention. Hopefully after another therapy session or two, it will be
    via United-Manner20
  • 32
    offered to let you move in with your grandparents. A lot of states the child gets to decide where they would rather live. Maybe talk to your grandparents and see if that's the case in your state.
    via United-Manner20

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family drama aita drama mother therapy sisters stepmom wife reddit story parenting petty husband dad family sister daughter Reddit mom parents Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article