Step-grandmother continually posts pictures of 8-year-old and 5-year-old children despite being told not to, parents refuse to let her see them: 'Your kids, your rules'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 5, 2025 3:00 PM EST

In the past few years, there has been a big discussion about whether or not we should post our children on social media. For a while there, it seemed like the norm. Social media sites like Instagram and YouTube were seen as places where you could show off your lifestyle-- what you're proud of, special moments, and memories you'd like to remember. Naturally, children were a part of that for a lot of parents and family members. Then came the rise of the family vlogger, and YouTube channels where parents would film their daily life with their kids, sharing all their drama, difficult conversations, and funny moments for the world to see. 

Many saw it as par for the course that the children themselves would show up in these videos. But as we've all become more aware of how social media can corrupt our perceptions of reality, that came with questions about children's visibility in that, with many advocating for keeping kids of social media altogether. But how far do we extend that restriction?

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  • Different parents naturally have differing opinions on this. Some want to show off their pride and joys to their friends and loved ones online, and some are extra caferful to shield them from the eyes of potentially unwanted viewers. The parents in this story, though, had a strong stance for their children. The problem arose when another family didn't quite respect that stance. 

  • 01

    One family found conflict when their stances on social media were at odds. Read on for the details and decide who you think is in the right.

    Cheezburger Image 10450219520
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for cutting my wife's stepmother off from my kids until she deletes her Instagram account?
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 03
    My wife and I have two children (8M and 5F) and we're expecting a third. Since our eldest was born, we have been clear and consistent about not wanting pictures of them posted online. It was my wife's idea, but still a mutual decision.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 04
    Most of our friends and family have no problem with that, but we've had problems with my wife's stepmother. She has, on several occasions, posted photos of our children on her Instagram account without our consent. Most are harmless (pictures of her with them or family photos with more people in them), but there have been a few times she took pictures. of the kids behind their backs and posted them.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 05
    Every time we see a photo of our children on her Instagram page, we tell her to delete it. She always does, but the next time she sees them, it happens again. We have been having this discussion with her since our daughter was born. She never listens.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 06
    Anyway, my family spent New Year's Eve at a rented beach house with some of my wife's paternal family. We returned home on Jan. 1st. That same day, my wife's stepmother posted several pictures from the trip. Buried between them were three photos of our kids on the beach. They're both wearing swimsuits and (except for one of the pictures) don't seem aware they're being photographed.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 07
    My wife and I talked, and we both agreed we've given her stepmother enough chances. As long as she's active on social media, she will continue posting pictures of our children without our consent.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 08
    We called her yesterday and said that she won't be allowed to see our kids unless she deletes her Instagram account. That means she won't have any kind of contact with them, receive pictures or be invited to their events.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 09
    She cried during the call, and tried to promise us she would delete the New Year's Eve post and never do anything like this again, but we told her we can't trust her. She can keep her account if she wants to, but she won't be allowed near our kids if she does.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 10
    My father-in-law (who is also against posting pictures of children on social media) called my wife last night. He agreed that her stepmother crossed a line, but said cutting her off from our children was an exaggeration. He said she has just started to make money with social media, but she also loves our kids very much, and it's cruel to force her to choose.
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 11
    I don't think we're in the wrong here, but I'm still worried we're taking this too far. AITA?
    via u/MissionAtmosphere16
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10450219776
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)
  • 13

    Commenters weighed in on whether or not the ultimatum they issued the step-mom was justified.

    mutemarmot42 3h ago • This is what stood out to me most. She's not just wanting to share these photos with family and friends, complete strangers have access to those photos. Hard NO. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 by exploiting children.
    via u/mutemarmot42
  • 14
    C... • 4h ago • Edited 2h ago NTA "she's just started making money off of social media" translates in my mind to "she knows that posting kids will help with engagement and pay more", and I would never allow that. Stand your ground.
    via u/canyonemoon
  • 15
    You've given her a choice, since she won't accept it you can now give her a deadline or you'll make the choice for her. Permanently.
    via u/canyonemoon
  • 16
    Glittering-Simple... • 4h ago • NTA. Your kids, your rules end of story. You've been more than patient by giving her so many chances to respect your boundaries, and she's repeatedly ignored them. The fact that you've had this conversation for years makes it clear she's not taking you seriously.
    via u/Glittering-Simple427
  • 17
    The swimsuit photos are especially concerning because it's not just about violating your wishes; it's about your kids' safety. Once those photos are online, you lose control over where they go, and no amount of "I'l| delete them" can undo that.
    via u/Glittering-Simple427
  • 18
    I get why she's upset, and it's tough when family drama like this happens, but you're not asking her to pick between social media and her life just between Instagram and access to your kids. If she truly loves them, she should prioritize their safety and privacy.
    via u/Glittering-Simple427
  • 19
    It's not "cruel" to enforce a boundary that protects your kids. If anything, it's cruel that she's put you in this position. by refusing to respect a simple request. Stand your ground. This isn't about her feelings; it's about your kids' well-being.
    via u/Glittering-Simple427
  • 20
    . OkStrength5245 • 5h ago Well. Either she makes the choice, or you do. Your offer expires in a week. After that, she definitively excluded.
    via u/OkStrength5245
  • 21
    BlueGreen 1956 4h ago. NTA She kept doing it because she never suffered any actual consequences for doing it. You should have given her ONE chance. Sort of off topic story:
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 22
    I worked for a year as a teacher in the YDC (Youth) Development Center) in my city. It's a place where juveniles are housed until they go to court or are sentenced for whatever they have done. We were always aware of what each of the teens had done to be there but sometimes they would talk about it to me.
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 23
    Nearly every one of them had the same story. "I did this and got a slap on the hand. I did it again and got a slap on the hand. I did it again and this time they put me in here." If they had received consequences the first time, there may not have been a second and third time.
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 24
    Mela777 5h ago • . NTA. If you want to compromise, perhaps her photo-taking devices could. be given in to the care of your wife or your FIL for the duration of your visit, but it's been 5 years and she has had constant reminders and still doesn't respect your children's privacy and your parenting choices.
    via u/Mela777
  • 25
    • dontgiveatoss 4h ago • "makes money off social media"?!?!?!? so she may even be using the photos as "content" on her account?!?! Personally I wouldn't want her to delete her IG account, but I would confiscate her phone whenever she visited and not get it back till she's int he car. some ppl have no effing boundaries do they"!
    via u/dontgiveatoss
  • 26
    x_hyperballad_x • 5h ago • NTA. It's a shame it had to come to this point for the stepmother to take your wishes seriously.
    via u/x_hyperballad_x
  • 27
    • Bibliophile_w_co... 5h ago NTA. You aren't forcing her to choose, she already made a choice to disrespect you both every time it happened for the last 5 years...all you are doing is protecting your kids.
    via u/Bibliophile_w_coffee
  • 28
    . Hungry_Goose492 • 5h ago You've been telling her to stop doing this for FIVE YEARS? NTA.
    via u/Hungry_Goose492

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childcare aita kids stepmom moms parenting dad social media cute kids pregnant boundaries reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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