Woman forbids ex-husband from walking her daughter down the aisle after his infidelity, despite daughter still wanting her stepfather in her life: “Just because he cheated doesn’t mean he’s a bad father”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 6, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Infidelity is something so life changing and disillusioning that it's never easy to recover from it. People spend years in therapy and practicing self-love to recover from the heartbreak of cheating, especially when you're already married and children are involved. When children are involved, it can be difficult not to influence their ideas about the situation. It could lead the entire family structure to be divided. If you're the one who did the cheating, you may resort to defensiveness to avoid feeling like the bad guy. And if you're the one cheated on, you may want to turn your children against their own parent to protect yourself, and feel empathized with. 

In this story, the protagonist is a man who made the mistake of cheating on his wife. He claims he regrets it, and that there's no excuse for it, but now they're divorced. They were married several years, and in those years he became close and connected to his stepdaughter. After their divorce, he feared she would turn against him, but she didn't. Years later, she's getting married and still wants him to walk her down the aisle. Her mother tries to forbid him from coming at all. But you'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    "MOM'S NOT OKAY WITH IT, SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANT YOU AT THE WEDDING"
    via @canvaaistudio / Canva
  • 02
    AITAH for telling my ex wife she cannot forbid me from walking her daughter down the aisle just because I cheated on her
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945
  • 03
    My ex wife and I divorced a couple years ago. We were married for 14 years and during that time, I also developed a strong bond with her daughter. However, my ex wife and I divorced a couple years ago after I cheated on her. I take full responsibility for it and don't
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945

    It's so tragic to read these stories of infidelity. He's right, there's no excuse for it. It's such a ubiquitous act, yet so painful and heinous. I'm not even sure how someone is able to continue seeing their partner after being intimate with someone else. I wouldn't be capable of pretending with someone. I would know that they didn't deserve that treatment, and that it's not fair to them. There is no redemption for things like this. 

  • 04
    really have any excuses for it. I still regret it to this day, and I know it really hurt my ex wife a lot.
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945
  • 05
    I really thought this would affect my bond with my stepdaughter and I was even prepared for her to go no contact with me. However, it didn't affect my bond with her at all, and my step daughter said it's adult business and it doesn't change that I've been a father figure for her for more than a decade.
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945

    Adult business? She doesn't feel like it sundered her family structure? It also feels unbelievable that she wouldn't have harbored resentment of some kind…especially that it isn't even her biological father. 

  • 06
    Last month, my step daughter told me she was getting married next year and asked me to walk her down the aisle. I was really honored with this privilege but I asked her if her mom would be ok with it. She said her mom wasn't ok with it all, and did not even want me at wedding. I asked
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945
  • 07
    my step daughter if she was sure me being at the wedding wouldn't cause any additional drama, and my step daughter said she didn't care what others thought as she knew how much of a great father figure I was to her.
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945
  • 08
    I was really happy but also emotional, and I said sure. However, a couple days later, my ex wife called and told me I shouldn't attend the wedding, and that no one wanted me at the wedding. I told my ex wife to not make her daughter's wedding about her, and it didn't matter
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945
  • 09
    what others thought as long as the bride wanted me at the wedding. I told my ex wife she cannot forbid me from attending her daughter's wedding just because I cheated on her. AITAH?
    via u/Aggressive_Ideal_945
  • 10
    Agoraphobe961 NAH. I get why ex is ped. but being a bad partner doesn't mean you were a bad parent. That her daughter is so willing to ignore everything speaks both to your parenting and to your ex's parenting.
    via u/Agoraphobe961
  • 11
    Fair warning: if you're still with the affair partner, don't bring them as your plus one (if you get one).
    via u/Agoraphobe961
  • 12
    dogmama 1958 Yeah, don't even bring a plus one at all
    via u/dogmama 1958
  • 13
    giag27 Maybe I'll get downvoted I dunno, but I'm going to be honest. I don't necessarily think you're an AH. But as a mom of 2 daughters.... If they wanted their cheating stepdad to walk them down
    via u/giag27
  • 14
    the aisle, I would be so hurt. I wouldn't say anything though... and my Italian. family would so not take it. well if you were at this wedding.
    via u/giag27
  • 15
    Capable-Grab-2... Cheating, when there are kids in the mix, causes decades of situations where there can only be, at best, a choice between crop options
    via u/Capable-Grab-2
  • 16
    CookMoist4494 It's honestly a sad situation all around and I feel for your ex. Her daughter IS actively choosing her cheating husband over her. Why couldn't the mom have been the one to walk her daughter down the aisle? I
    via u/CookMoist4494
  • 17
    don't think OPs the ah for going through with it. I think the daughter is. I would never do that to my mom.
    via u/CookMoist4494
  • 18
    LittleStarClove Imagine getting married being given away by a cheater...
    via u/LittleStarClove
  • 19
    gobledegerkin How would you feel if your daughter's future husband put her in the same position you are putting your ex in?
    via u/gobledegerkin
  • 20
    luckylemurlove Your poor ex wife. First you choose another woman over her and now her own daughter is choosing you over her. I hope she finds someone who will always choose her no matter what.
    via u/luckylemurlove
  • 21
    Having your whole family prefer other people over you has to be the biggest blow
    via u/luckylemurlove
  • 22
    SecretOscarOG NAH but imagine getting cheated on and your daughter, who isn't even their child, constantly forces that heartbreak and pain on you over and over. And at her wedding. You know, where people vow not to
    via u/SecretOscarOG
  • 23
    cheat on one another. I'd be heartbroke my kid did that and probably wouldn't speak to the kid anymore. I mean it shows she has no love or respect for her mom if she happily keeps hurting her more herself.
    via u/SecretOscarOG

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