'I’m not your safety net': 26-year-old mooch begs her roommate to use their emergency savings fund to pay for rent after spending her money on a 'weekend getaway,' frugal friend refuses

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  • "Am I The J*rk for not letting my roommate use my emergency savings to cover her rent?"

    I (25F) live with my roommate Kara (26F). We've been friends since college, and while living together has been mostly fine, Kara isn't great with money. She often splurges on things like designer clothes, eating out, and spontaneous trips, and I've always kept quiet about it because it's her life.
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  • Last week, Kara told me she's short on rent this month because of a "surprise expense." When I asked what happened, she admitted she went on a weekend getaway with friends, thinking she'd be able to "figure it out later." Now "later" is here, and she doesn't have enough to pay her half of the rent.
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  • Kara asked if she could borrow money from me, specifically from my emergency savings. I said no. Those savings are for emergencies -unexpected car repairs, medical bills, or losing my job-not for covering her overspending. I told her she should reach out to her family or look into short-term loans.
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  • She got upset and said I was being selfish and "not a real friend." She argued that it wouldn't be a big deal for me to lend her the money because I have the savings, and she'd pay me back soon (though she couldn't specify when). I stood firm and said, "I'm not your safety net when you decide to blow your budget."
  • Since then, Kara has been cold and distant. She's been telling mutual friends that I'm letting her "struggle" when I could easily help her. Some of them think I should've just lent her the money to avoid drama, while others agree that her poor planning isn't my responsibility. Am I The J rk?
  • Brilliant-Car-2116 If she's bad with money, you may want to find a new roommate because if she doesn't pay, you'll still be on the hook.
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  • hoties mia You're absolutely right, and it's something I've been seriously considering. While I value our friendship, I can't afford to take financial risks because of her choices. This situation has definitely been a wake-up call
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  • Knickers1978 You do it once, it will never end. She'll use you as a buffer for her bad spending habits all the time. Or permanently let you "help" her by paying less rent each month.
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  • Pristine Society_583 Her sympathetic friends can surely come up with the funds. Her irresponsibility is not caused by you. Not your fault = not your emergency. She needs to be already grown up enough at 26 to learn that frivolous behavior has consequences. Not your fault that she planned to fail and then count on you without having your explicit permission. Oh, the entitlement!
  • R*de-Hand5440 Kara is an adult. At 26, she should be able to manage her money well enough to pay her bills on time. You are not her personal bank, nor are you her 'safety net' as you put it.
  • For the ones saying that you should loan it to her, they can loan it to her if they're that worried about drama. It may be time to reevaluate your living arrangements.
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  • Desperate-Pear-860 Tell these idiot friends that they can lend her their money. Kara is an idiot for blowing her rent money on a vacation. Action have consequences.
  • Liu1845 Your emergency fund is for YOUR emergencies only. It is not a back up for your roommate's frivolous spending habits.

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