Betrayed woman calls off wedding after finding out fiancé has a secret child, he begs her to reconsider, but she goes with her gut: “What else is he hiding?”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 12, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Betrayal is not an easy thing to get over for anyone. Once someone has broken your trust in a significant way, they can do everything right afterwards but you may still harbor feelings of distrust. There's just no other way around it; trust is so fragile and exists inside of a vacuum. It's either there or it isn't, there's no middle ground. If someone chooses to stay with the person who betrayed them, they might question the person's fidelity and actions for the rest of their relationship. You may think you've patched things up, that you're sure they'll never do it again, until one day you see or hear something that reminds you. You may fall in and out of these spirals for the rest of your lives together. 

In this story, the protagonist has been with her fiancé for five years. She thinks they're going to have a beautiful and happy wedding and life together, until she finds out about his secret child. She's going through some of his documents, when she sees that he has been keeping his child a secret. Shocked, she leaves him high and dry.

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  • 01

    AITAH for calling off my wedding after discovering my fiancé has a secret child

    "This has to be a mistake"
    via Kaspars Grinvalds / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I have been with my fiancé, Heseinberg (he's a BB fan), for five years, and we've spent the whole 2024 planning our wedding. Things were perfect or so I thought. After the New year, while helping him clean out his office, I stumbled upon a stack of old letters addressed to him. I
    via u/Glimmering-Daisy

  • It must be such a heartache to spend so long with someone, only to feel like you don't even know who they are after all this time, investment, and effort into them. 

  • 03
    was so curious so I opened one and discovered they were from a woman claiming he was the father of her 7-year-old son. At first I thought it had to be a mistake. When I confronted him he admitted everything that he'd had a brief relationship with this woman before we met and the
    via u/Glimmering-Daisy
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10453496576
    via Iryna Dincer from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's a little fishy at first that she's opening his letters. Why was she so curious? I think it's infringing on his individual privacy, but at least she got information out of it. 

  • 05
    child is his. He confessed that he's known about his son for years but chose not to tell me because he "didn't want to complicate our relationship." He also claimed he occasionally provides financial support but has no active involvement in the child's life. I was devastated. Not
    via u/Glimmering-Daisy
  • 06
    only did he keep such a massive secret but his lack of involvement in his child's life made me question his character. I couldn't stop imagining what else he might be hiding.
    via u/Glimmering-Daisy
  • 07
    Despite loving him deeply I've decided to call off the wedding. I feel betrayed and can't imagine building a life with someone who would keep something so significant from me. He is begging me to reconsider saying he's ready to be open about everything and involve his child in
    via u/Glimmering-Daisy
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10453509376
    via zhanglianxun from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    our lives. Still I can't shake the feeling that trust is broken beyond repair. Am I the a hole for calling off the wedding? Or should I give him another chance?
    via u/Glimmering-Daisy
  • 10
    Sui... NTA - Why would you want to marry a man who chooses to be inactive in his child life?
    via u/Sui
  • 11
    TarzanKitty • 6h ago NTA Your fiancé has been lying to you every day throughout your entire relationship. Not, to mention he is a deadbeat.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 12
    Be glad to rid yourself of such trash.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 13
    xmarketladyx • 7h ago This is a big and life altering secret. What if the woman goes after him for full support? Your life will be impacted too especially if he's still sending her money. He needs to realize this is no small thing. I would do the same if I were you.
    via u/xmarketladyx
  • 14
    HelinFine ⚫4h ago Girl, NTA. Like, at all. I can't even imagine the level of betrayal you must be feeling right now. Keeping a whole child a secret for YEARS isn't just a 'oops, I forgot to mention' situation, it's a massive, intentional lie.
    via u/HelinFine
  • 15
    And honestly, the fact that he's had zero involvement in his kid's life? That says so much about his priorities and how he handles responsibility.
    via u/HelinFine
  • 16
    I get that you love him, but trust is EVERYTHING in a relationship. If he could hide something this huge, what else is he capable of keeping from you? And let's not forget-you'd be walking into a situation where this kid would now be part of your life too, and that's a big
    via u/HelinFine
  • 17
    deal to navigate, especially when he's been so shady about it all.
    via u/HelinFine
  • 18
    You deserve someone who's honest and who doesn't make you question their character. Stay strong, and don't let anyone guilt you into thinking you're overreacting. You're not. ⑤
    via u/HelinFine
  • 19
    Livid-Supermarket... 6h ago He has a child and never told you. Yep, calling it off is smart. NTAH
    via u/Livid-Supermarket
  • 20
    BlissfulRosebud 7h ago Definitely you're NTA OP, trust and honesty are cornerstones of a healthy marriage. Who knows what other secrets he have
    via u/BlissfulRosebud
  • 21
    grayblue_grrl • 6h ago Sounds like he's now willing to have the child in his life - IF HE HAS A WOMAN TO LOOK AFTER HIM. If he's a crappy "father", he is likely a crappy person in general.
    via u/grayblue_grrl
  • 22
    yocaramel ⚫7h ago NTA. Trust is important in a relationship, even more so in marriages. If he was a decent person he would've told you about the kid and respected if you chose to opt out.
    via u/yocaramel
  • 23
    My partner doesn't talk about his kid a lot but he didn't hide the fact he had a kid from the start. I don't know if he already was testing the waters of whether we could be together then.
    via u/yocaramel

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