16-year-old forced to take care of siblings and house chores puts her foot down, runs away to her boyfriend’s, only to come back home and be told to clean the house: “You’re the older sister, you should be doing this anyway”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Teenage years ring differently for everyone. Some people had a carefree adolescence, with friends surrounding them, fun times, and no responsibilities. Some people on the other hand had stressful and demanding childhoods. Without responsible and mature parents, a lot of the household duties could fall on their children. I even remember some kids telling me that they worked part time jobs to contribute to their struggling parent's finances. 

Regardless of what kind of teenage experience you had, you can't deny that no teenager should have to have gone through that. The whole beauty about being young is that you don't have the stress and responsibilities of being an adult. You don't need to pay rent and bills, you don't need to have a job, and you don't need to suffer for your livelihood. 

In this story, the protagonist is a hard working teenager. She has many siblings, and it's become her responsibility to take care of them. Her mother isn't exactly mother of the year, and it falls on the shoulders of a teenager to make sure her younger siblings get to school on time. But you'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my mom that just because she works and pays, the bills doesn’t mean she can stop with her motherly duties

    "Just because you work and pay the bills, doesn't mean she can stop your motherly duties"
    via dimaberlinphotos / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (16f) live with my mom my stepdad my twin sister my little brother, my little sister and my older brother for the time being. I cook I clean I make sure my. (8f) sister my(14m) brother and my (16f) twin sister are all up for school in the morning and on top of all of that I work and go to school myself.
    via u/Still-Control7991
  • 03
    Yesterday I told my mom that I need a mental health day because I literally do everything she looked at me like I had three heads and told me what do I do and I just got so mad I snapped I packed a bag and I left the house. I stayed at my boyfriend's house for like three days. I didn't answer a single text a call or anything.
    via u/Still-Control7991
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10454176256
    via Geowulf from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    I just need to day for myself and after the three days were up. I went home and it was a mess everywhere. My room was a mess. The kitchen was a mess. The living room was a mess everything and the first thing my mom told me when I walked in the house was clean it up. And
    via u/Still-Control7991
  • 06
    then I yelled at her and I told her just because you work and you pay the bills does it mean that you can stop with your motherly duties. I shouldn't be taking care of everybody in the house and then myself I'm only 16.
    via u/Still-Control7991
  • 07
    She said you're the older sister you should be doing this stuff anyways and I told her that I am a twin and there's other people in this house that can clean up and do all the other stuff So am I the a hole?
    via u/Still-Control7991
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10454182400
    via Africa images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's absolutely insane that her mother doesn't even care for her own daughter's well-being! She should be worried that her teenager ran away in the first place, not demanding that she contribute to the chores. 

  • 09
    BlueGreen_1956 • 11h ago NTA Your mother has kids but expects you to be their mother. Uh, nope.
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 10
    Mother Search33... 10h ago NTAH Clean your room, get up in the morning, get ready for school and leave.
    via u/Mother Search33

  • It's funny that her mother says she's the oldest, but she's a twin!!

  • 11
    There are no babies in that house that need to be taken care of 24/7 and your mother and stepfather are responsible for taking care of their children. NTAH
    via u/Mother Search33
  • 12
    Dizzy-Bowl-900 • 11h ago NTA This is called parentification, and I am sorry you are going through it. It s ks, and it's one of the main reasons people will estrange from their families as they
    via u/Dizzy-Bowl-900
  • 13
    get older and see how ridiculous their parents were.
    via u/Dizzy-Bowl-900
  • 14
    AssistSignificant... • 10h ago My parents did that to my big sister. Free babysitter, cook and bottle washer. She never married or had kids, their example made her very bitter, and rightfully so. I really despise any parent
    via u/AssistSignificant
  • 15
    who does this, it's really victimization due to birth order and gender.
    via u/AssistSignificant
  • 16
    • Hippie BeachChic... 11h ago NTA. Stop doing any of those things. It'll be hard but you're already being treated poorly. Take care of you and yourself. Get a part time job and start saving so you can leave at 18 and don't look back.
    via u/Hippie BeachChic
  • 17
    . Egal89 10h ago NTA - look up parentification and talk to your social worker at school.
    via u/Egal89
  • 18
    Illustrious-Catch-... • 10h ago Main reason why me and many other kids who grew up in the same position as you left our homes at young ages and never looked back. To this day I don't speak to anyone in my family from
    via u/Illustrious-Catch
  • 19
    when I left home at 16, and I'm 34. Bc of "parents" like this.
    via u/Illustrious-Catch
  • 20
    karla_sky12 • 6h ago NTA. You're clearly doing a lot, and it's understandable that you'd need a break. It's unfair for your mom to expect you to take on so much responsibility, especially when there are other people in the house
    via u/karla_sky12
  • 21
    who could help. You're allowed to prioritize your mental health, and it's not your job to do everything. Your mom's reaction seems out of touch with the reality of what you're balancing.
    via u/karla_sky12
  • 22
    dekage55 10h ago Where's Stepdad in all this mess? It's his house too. Get that a 16 yr old shouldn't have all this on her shoulders. It's the "motherly duties" I have an issue with, as it should be
    via u/dekage55
  • 23
    Adult (meaning both parents in the household) duties. Men who are living in a two-income family should bear as much responsibility as the Women.
    via u/dekage55
  • 24
    • Elephant No3640 11h ago. The part where your mother let her 16yo daughter run away to crash at her boyfriend's house for three days is concerning. She seems to have lost control of the household.
    via u/Elephant No3640
  • 25
    LostNOTFound 80 • 10h ago Every person I the house is old enough to clean. Your mom needs to make a chores list for everyone to do daily. Get rid of step dad if he isn't doing anything.
    via u/LostNOTFound 80

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