Single mom gets dumped by new BF after he refuses to tip ice cream employee: 'This tipping stuff is getting out of hand'

Tipping is getting so out of hand these days. Maybe you're feeling the pinch, too: it seems like almost every establishment prompts customers to tip generously, even when they never would've done that just a few years ago.

Just the other day, I bought a scoop of ice cream and was prompted to tip. The restaurant was totally empty, and the server scooped me a single scoop of cookies and cream (it was super delicious, thanks for asking). It took probably five seconds to scoop it, and then I was rung up and prompted to tip between 15-30%. I felt bad for not tipping, but what would I have been tipping for, exactly? It's a question that Americans are having to ask themselves more and more these days, as every iPad-touting shop can easily pop the question onto the screen for every customer. 

Should we be tipping servers, baristas, delivery drivers, and bartenders? Well, yes, since those positions have been tip-based for quite some time. But do I really want to tip the guy at the food truck who hands me a ready-to-eat slice of pizza, or a cashier who's working at a clothing retail store and just ringing up my clothes? Sorry, and maybe that's a hot take, but no, I don't actually want to tip employees who aren't doing much besides handing an item across the counter. 

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Author image for Remy Millisky Remy Millisky
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  • That's why I also disagree with this guy a bit. He didn't tip an ice cream server. But it was at the kind of location where they ask you the flavor of ice cream you want, then ask the toppings you want, and then they chop it all together for a minute or two, making it a completely scrumptious concoction. Unlike an easy scooping motion, that's the kind of ice cream preparation I would tip for, but this dude decided against it. Still, he's not totally in the wrong: his GF had a big overreaction to his refusal to tip. And, as some customers pointed out, this worker probably wasn't even expecting a tip, the iPad just prompts the customer to tip regardless. 

    Up next, read about the car dealership customer who took his business elsewhere, then returned to gloat about it. 

  • 02
    I had been dating a single mother for a little over six months now. It began casually and got more serious than I think either of us planned. We agreed that if we hit six months then I would meet her son.
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
  • 03
    Our date when I met him started off strong. We went to see Inside Out 2, the new Pixar movie. Then we went for lunch at a casual sit down restaurant. The kid was really well behaved and polite. I was a brat when I was six so I was super impressed.
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
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  • 04
    After lunch we went for dessert at an ice cream chain where you pick your ice cream then they put it on a cold stone and use tools to mix in other ingredients. We decided in advance that we would all have ice cream sandwiches. I thought it would be cool to make a mix and match sandwich with two different flavor
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
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    of cookies and then a custom filling. It turns out that isn't an option. They had ten pre-made combinations in the freezer with the ice cream cakes. There were some good choices so we all got something we wanted.
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
  • 06
    The problem was at the counter. the machine came up with a tip option and I skipped it. The girl behind the counter did nothing at all besides point us to the freezer and then ring us up. I don't think either of those actions is tip worthy. If she had made the sandwiches then I would have tipped.
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
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  • 07
    After I took them home I got a text from her about I was cheap not to tip at the ice cream place. I explained my logic that I did not get any service so why would I tip. She got very strident and actually called me to say that i behaved poorly and to give me sh for not tipping.
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
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    I thought about this for a while and decided I did not need this sh. So I texted her that I did not really see a future for us and that I did not want to waste her time so it would be best if we went our separate ways.
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
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    She got really upset and said I was throwing away our relationship over $3. I said that it wasn't the money but that she thought she had the right to tell me how to behave and to yell at me over $3. We did not even hold hands in front of her kid and she only introduced me as a friend so it isn't like the kid thinks of me as anything at all.
    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
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  • 10
    My sister thinks I should give my ex another chance now that she understands my feelings about tipping. I told her that it wasn't about the tipping it was about her getting upset over something so minor. AITAH?

    This person wasn't exactly throwing out their relationship over $3, they were trying to avoid drama. I wonder if meeting the kid was a lot of pressure, too: maybe it clarified this person's true feelings towards the now-ex GF before taking the relationship any more seriously. 

    Via u/Ok_Dig1706
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    ToThePillory NTA, as you say, it's not really about tipping or not tipping, it's more about her reaction. If you've been dating for six months and this will break you up, the relationship probably wasn't going anywhere anyway.
    Via u/ToThePillory
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  • 13
    theory240 NTA I don't tip for counter service either and won't take sh from anyone over it. You did the right thing.
    Via u/theory240
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    r. Man not the a h le. This tipping stuff is getting out of hand. These places should pay their employees better.
    Via u/redd0130
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    NatureCarolyn G... If your ex thought the tip was that important she should have left a tip. You made the correct decision to leave. She doesn't understand that it was her behaviour that ended this relationship. It would have gotten worse if you would have stayed and she wouldn't be taking any
    Via u/NatureCarolynGate
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    responsibility if this sort of behaviour she demonstrated continued [which I am sure it would].
    Via u/NatureCarolynGate
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    Via Sebastian Coman Photography on Unsplash+
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    ArreniaQ the software is programmed to ask for a tip, it wasn't the employee who expected the tip. I think you are NTA. The issue here isn't about money at all, it's about the reaction of the woman you were with.
    Via u/ArreniaQ
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  • 19
    If she gets this upset about a tip, what is she going to say when she really disagrees with something you do. She chose to get strident (what a great description!), called you up and yelled at you because you did something small that she didn't like. If she thought the girl needed a tip, why didn't she give her $3.00?
    Via u/ArreniaQ
  • 20
    Tell your sister, your decision isn't about money, it's about someone trying to change your decision by yelling at you. Good job for recognizing the red flag.
    Via u/ArreniaQ

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