Ungrateful woman rejects the blanket her sister-in-law crocheted for her because she made a mistake in the pattern: 'She looked down at it and said that it wasn’t done until it was perfect'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 16, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Ever since I was a little kid, I have been highly trained in the art and science of receiving presents. My sister and I would get the same lecture from our parents every year when we were driving to our birthday parties: "No matter what you get, whether you like it, hate it, or already have it, you act like it's the greatest thing you've ever received and you say thank you to the person who gave it to you." It doesn't matter if you're 4 or 94; that's excellent advice. Nobody who took the time to shop for and buy you a present should feel like their time and effort was wasted, even if it was objectively not that great of a gift. 

If the gift in question is exceptional, that's all the more reason to wrap your arms around the gifter and thank them profusely for their generosity.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10455431424
    via Annie Spratt

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  • Unfortunately, the sister-in-law at the center of this story did no such thing. When her sister-in-law decided to crochet an entire blanket for her out of the kindness of her heart, she did not accept the gift. Instead, she told her that she thought she could do better, and sent the blanket back for repairs.

  • 02

    AITA for declining to “fix” the errors I made in a blanket I crocheted for someone and taking it back instead?

    I made a blanket for my sister in law Amanda. I was able to give it to her last weekend. She'd asked for it in certain colors. I didn't have any other projects on my to do list so I was happy to make it for her. I had most of the colors already too so it worked out.
    via u/One_Entrepreneur5686
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    via Lia Bekyan (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    When I gave it to her she was excited and she started to look it over, I figured it was to see how it was put together, since she doesn't crochet. After a little bit she said that she loved the blanket, BUT she couldn't help but notice some of the little
    via u/One_Entrepreneur5686
  • 05
    mistakes I'd made along the way. I asked her what she meant, and she pointed out some things like I'd accidentally done one row of striping instead of three for one section, I'd switched to the wrong color and threw off a "pattern" at some point, etc.
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    She handed it back to me and told me that she loves my progress with it and couldn't wait to see the finished project. I told her that it was finished. She looked down at it and said that it wasn't done until it was perfect, and I'd made several mistakes that I could easily go back to correct.
    via u/One_Entrepreneur5686
  • 07
    I was honestly dumbfounded by this. I hate the way perfectionists try to force their quirk onto others. I made this blanket for her for free out of my own free time because I love her. I told her that. She said she knows and she loves me for it but that she wouldn't be able to use it because she wouldn't be able to focus on anything but the mistakes.
    via u/One_Entrepreneur5686
  • 08
    I said whatever and took the blanket back and said that if she doesn't want it, I'll keep it. She looked surprised and said that she does want it, she just wants my best work and not something half assed. I told her that if she thinks me crocheting A WHOLE BLANKET and making minimal errors is half assing it, I'd rather just keep the blanket.
    via u/One_Entrepreneur5686
  • 09
    She's so upset with me and told me I was acting ridiculous and that it wouldn't take me long to fix it. If you know anything about crochet you know that if I made an error on row 36 of a 1115 row blanket... that's essentially starting over again. Anyway I come to you all lol AITA?
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    via Natalia Blauth (Unsplash+)

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  • 11
    owls_and_cardinals You aren't being ridiculous, she definitely was. Super NTA. What she might be missing is that there is no 'fixing' an error like you described in crochet; you either start over or pull out the stitches back to the point of error to resume from there.
    via u/owls_and_cardinals
  • 12
    She couldn't be a gracious recipient of a heartfelt, thoughtful, homemade gift and that shows you something about her. If she requires perfection, that's pretty incompatible with 'homemade', not to mention SUPER dismissive and presumptuous of her not to prioritize the hard work and hours that went into making it.
    via u/owls_and_cardinals
  • 13
    Given that she's a member of your family and you probably don't want a long-term rift, I would hold my ground but try to diffuse it. Just explain, repeatedly if necessary, that it's too bad your gift didn't work out but no hard feelings. Do not feel forced to start again or to fix the blanket in any way. Try not to create drama or judgment over her for it - believe me, her response to this whole thing stands alone. And don't offer to make her anything in the future, that's for sure. NTA ΝΤΑ ΝΤΑ.
    via u/owls_and_cardinals
  • 14
    EDIT TO ADD: By 'no hard feelings' I want to clarify I'm focusing primarily on how I suggest OP express her feelings to others in the family, for the purpose of peacemaking. My personal take is that SIL's actions stand alone and if OP keeps it un-emotional and doesn't engage in any back and forth about it, that would be best. I would CERTAINLY be offended by SIL's words and behavior though.
    via u/owls_and_cardinals
  • 15
    Secure-Flight-291 This answer is pitch perfect. Don't get caught up in a debate about this, because it's beneath you. It's obvious that SIL is way out of line. If she starts in on the "your best work" BS again I would very kindly ask her, "I'm surprised you would say something like that to me. Are you ok?" because that is an unhinged way to speak to an adult. H_II, it's messed up to speak to anyone like that about a gift they made you. Her behavior is not about the blanket, it's not about you. I
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    Hawaiianstylin808 NTA. The best part of these kind of homemade gifts are the imperfections that make it unique and special. "Fixing it" would ruin that.
    via u/Hawaiianstylin808
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    Infinite_Slide_5921 Even if the "mistakes" were easily fixed, this is an incredibly r de ang ungrateful response to a gift.
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  • 18
    The Blonde1 • 1d ago I knit. I know an error I made in row 12 isn't fixable unless I undo everything above row 12 and re-knit it; obviously impossible if the work has already been cast off. Your next gift to miss it-has-to-be-perfect should be a 'How to crochet' book, a couple of different sized hooks, and a nice selection of yarn. Or maybe you could get an actual kit?
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  • 19
    Give it to her with great excitement, and gush how much you're looking forward to spending time crocheting with her and how thrilled you'll be when she can match you stitch for stitch. Inform her how satisfying it will be for her to crochet her own perfect blanket, to her own standards. Lucky Amanda! NTA, and I really admire anyone who can crochet.
    via u/The_Blonde1
  • 20
    WA_State_Buckeye • 1d ago Perfect!! The best idea so far!! I can crochet like a mad woman, but despite me inheriting my grandmother's knitting needles, I can't knit a straight line to save my life, so I'm envious. I read once that some crafters INTENTIONALLY put an error in their work just to make sure to keep it from being "perfect". I don't have to do that, as I know there will always be a miscount or something in my work, but it will still look good. lol.
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  • 21
    fhiaqb It's an old superstition! I think it originates from a few different places, a few different textiles, and with a few variations, but basically, when you create, you put some of your soul into the project. If the project is perfect your soul can't leave it, and it's trapped inside. For example, rug-makers will put a thread of the wrong color, knitters might purl instead of knit in a place, crocheters might skip a stitch (or a couple rows as the case may be). Some cultures also view it as
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  • 22
    Dittoheadforever You're NTA. She is being a ride, ungrateful A-H. She looked surprised and said that she does want it, she just wants my best work and not something half assed. Wow, I would tell her to take a flying leap. She can pay someone to make her one and find out real fast what your effort was worth in money. Or she could learn to crochet and find out just how hard it is to make a blanket.
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  • 23
    purrincesskittens Made a extra thick quilt for my uncle once at my grandmother's request it was my first time making a quilt that wasn't just a baby quilt and along the binding it got bunched up a bit in places and one corner was crocked and the pattern wasn't exactly even but it held together would hold together even when washed it was thick and warm and in his favorite colors and pretty good for my first time making a full size quilt. He liked it and was amazed by how much effort it took and d
    via u/purrincesskittens
  • 24
    pudge-thefish NTA I crochet my philosophy is I make what I love for who I love...and I don't take requests lol My tags actually say "made with love and mistakes". The beauty of something homemade is that it is one of a kind....not made by a machine so what she sees as "mistakes" to me make it unique and wonderful Keep it...or gift it to someone who will appreciate it but never make her something again
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  • 25
    nervelli I saw someone comment something similar and a knitting subreddit earlier, that if it didn't have mistakes, it could have just been made on a machine. If SIL wants a perfect blanket, she is welcome to buy one from Walmart.
    via u/nervelli
  • 26
    SwordTaster Machines can't even do crochet yet, it's too complex for them. Machines can knit because, while it takes 2 needles, the process is much simpler
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  • 27
    Kitsuneanima I'm making a blanket for a friend out of yarns I bought but don't really love. Like I was originally just thinking of making a bunch of pot holders. But friend saw them, loved them and asked if I could make them into a blanket for her. And I said sure, but it won't be fast and it might look like a patchwork monstrosity. She said even if it does it will be a patchwork monstrosity made with love and that's what matters to her.
    via u/Kitsuneanima
  • 28
    GoblinGeorge As a crocheter and a perfectionist who once willingly reworked about 120 circles for a friend's baby blanket because I miscounted and they were all 1 stitch short, absolutely, positively NTA Your SIL is ridiculous, entitled, and unappreciative. Even if she doesn't crochet herself, to be that insanely picky about a handmade gift is just unconscionable.
    via u/GoblinGeorge

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