Man refuses to cook for wife after constantly complaining about his food, she accuses him of not trying hard enough to please her: “She prefers a Hot Pocket to a Salisbury steak”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 19, 2025 2:00 PM EST

For some couples, food can make or break their relationship. The term "foodie" has been coined since the 1980s to describe a person that may have gluttonous tendencies, bereft of the sinful connotation. A foodie enjoys food for a hobby, not just out of survival, and they're typically interested in trying new and adventurous foods. Foodie couples are the same; they live to eat, and they live to eat together. They may travel the world in search of flavors they've never had before. When a couple disagrees on food preferences it can pose a problem. 

Not every couple cares about sharing food together. I know for myself I always want to share food with a partner, and food preferences and habits being aligned is important for me. If someone's vegan it'll be a big problem for me when I want to go out for burgers, however, other couples may be more flexible. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a man who prides himself on his cooking abilities. His father was a chef, and he feels confident that he knows his way around a kitchen. Everyone seems to love his cooking, everyone except his wife that is. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for just refusing to cook for my wife at this point?

    "She dramatically threw her fork on the plate and went to heat up a microwavable burrito❞
    via fotostorm from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I am 39 and male. My wife, Jennifer, is 37. We have been married for eight years, and we have two children.
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 03
    I work full-time, and Jennifer is a SAHM. She's a wonderful mother to our children, but one thing that she does not like to do is cook. This works out just fine for me, as I generally get off work by 4:30, and I happen to be a phenomenal cook. My father was a chef, and I've been cooking since I was ten years old. I also
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 04
    worked as a line cook for several years.
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 05
    Virtually everyone loves my cooking. When we have company, it gets rave reviews. Our children always ask for seconds. I put a lot into it, and I take pride in my cooking skills.
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 06
    The only person who doesn't like it is Jennifer. She complains endlessly. "Too salty." "Too much pepper." "This is undercooked." She also backseat cooks a lot, where I'll be in the kitchen making something, and she won't shut up about what I should be doing differently. The worst part,
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 07
    though, is that she'll frequently insult my cooking and then go get garbage like a Hot Pocket or a frozen dinner from the freezer.
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10456649728
    via bhofack2 from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She has no idea how lucky she is to have a man who cooks! Not only does he enjoy it, but he's good at it! It's shocking that she prefers convenience food to anything homemade. 

  • 09
    Last Wednesday, I made Salisbury steaks with mushroom gravy, cream cheese mashed potatoes, and roasted asparagus. When I put Jennifer's plate in front of her, she made a disgusted face. She poked at her Salisbury steak for a few seconds and took the tiniest bite imaginable. She then made
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10456649472
    via Sonda Stefan's Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    an exaggerated retching sound, dramatically threw her fork on the plate, and went to heat up a microwave burrito.
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 12
    I just snapped. I didn't say anything at the time because our children were there, but I was completely done. The next day, I made teriyaki bowls with broccoli. Jennifer sat at the table waiting for hers, and I informed her that I was done cooking for her. When she asked why, I told her it's a waste of food, and that she should just go have a Hot Pocket.
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 13
    Jennifer is furious that I won't cook for her, and she says that instead of giving up, I should try a bit harder. I think she should just subsist on whatever microwaveable slop she likes and stop complaining. Did I escalate too much here?
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894

  • What does she want from him? She has no issue eating Hot Pockets in front of him instead of his steaks, so why now would she get upset?

  • 14
    Edit: Thank you for the comments. Unfortunately, people are sending me harassment through private messages, and many of these people come from the same community that has cross-posted this multiple times. I'm going to abandon this reddit account, although in the unlikely
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 15
    scenario that I post an update, I may use it again. I'm just exhausted from reading comments about how I'm supposedly a terrible father for not making the right food for my children and how my wife must be right about my cooking. I am no longer reading responses and DMs.
    via u/Winter_Reveal_5894
  • 16
    Qu... NTA Did you marry a five-year- old? She behaved like a child.
    via u/QuietRiot7222310
  • 17
    If you are not willing to do something, you don't get to complain about the people that do. In my house, whoever is cooking, makes what they make, and everybody else shuts the f and eats it. If you honestly can't eat it for some reason, you thank the
    via u/QuietRiot7222310
  • 18
    person for making the meal and then make yourself something quietly and politely.
    via u/QuietRiot7222310
  • 19
    NoZookeepergam... NTA - the retching sound and throwing of the fork deserves the cut off without any other discussion, as you are still cooking for the kids and bc your kids should know that that kind of
    via u/NoZookeepergam
  • 20
    rudeness is not acceptable and comes with reasonable consequences.
    via u/NoZookeepergam
  • 21
    Hurt-Locker-Fan It is really not about the food. All these years of cooking by an expert and she NEVER happened to like a single dish????
    via u/Hurt-Locker-Fan
  • 22
    Bottom line is she likes tearing him down. She knows he is passionate about cooking and takes pride in it and everyone loves his cooking. So she wants to sh.. on the one thing he loves.
    via u/Hurt-Locker-Fan
  • 23
    She is a mean nasty negative b OP, show this to her.
    via u/Hurt-Locker-Fan
  • 24
    grayblue_grrl The first time someone makes a negative comment about your food, you should always let them know that they are free to cook the next meal. And they don't have to eat anything you ever cook again.
    via u/grayblue_grrl
  • 25
    That usually stops a long term attitude that makes you grind your teeth. She is jealous, petty and needs to learn to shut her mouth.
    via u/grayblue_grrl
  • 26
    ImAnNPCsoWhat NTA. She created this dynamic. Just make sure you and your babies are fed. She doesn't deserve your food, especially since she's being negative on purpose.
    via u/ImAnNPCsoWhat

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