Husband announces wife’s pregnancy without her consent, she offers no sympathy when his father goes around doing the same thing to him: “Your husband is a hypocrite”

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    AITAH for offering no sympathy to my husband when his dad crossed a boundary?

    "I can't wrap my head around him wanting sympathy after repeatedly doing the same behavior"
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    I'm currently pregnant with my second child. I found out three days before Christmas, and told my husband the following day. He was pleased as punch... myself, excited but more than a little nervous. Big mixed bag of feelings. For this and other reasons, I asked my husband if we could keep the news between
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    us for a while and let me process/adjust to this new reality before sharing with our family/friends. His response... "I'm so excited - can I just tell Work Friend?"
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    I repeated that I would prefer to keep it between us for now, at least to get through the holidays without all the focus on us. Fewer than ten minutes later he says "Work Friend is super happy for us! And I told Other Friend, she says congratulations."
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    I let him know I was disappointed and I thought his behavior was super disrespectful and but whatever, it's out of my hands now. He assured me that he wasn't going to tell anyone else.
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    Fast forward through the weeks following Christmas, during which he pestered and pressured me to tell his family members before I was ready. Again, we had his parents casually over for coffee one night and he "let it slip" without my consent because he's "just so excited".
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    Cheezburger Image 10457241856
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    Repeat this process with a few other friends and family members. For whatever reason, he hasn't yet "let it slip" to his paternal grandparents. Because of this, his dad has been pressuring him to call them. Today, his dad gave him an ultimatum: he would say something before the end of the day if my husband didn't.
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    Husband comes home in a super disagreeable mood and proceeds to vent to me about his dad's total lack of consideration and how angry he is over this ultimatum. I calmly listen to him, and I agree, it's not a nice thing to do. It's not his dad's news to share. It IS inconsiderate. But this is where maybe I'm the a_h_le - "I love you,
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    but does this maybe give you some context for how it felt when you did the same thing to me?"
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    He then gets even angrier and tells me that it's not the same situation at all, criticizes me for making it about myself, says I have a victim mindset, he just needs support from me and not "whatever this is".
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    I then also blew up at him, defending myself, and we've hardly spoken for the rest of the night. I can't wrap my head around him wanting sympathy from me after repeatedly hurting me with almost the same behavior.
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    Cheezburger Image 10457241600
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    but is it not the same situation? Is he right? Should I have put my own resentment aside to help him feel better? DID I selfishly make it about me? Maybe he would have made the connection without me pointing it out, or maybe he would have been more receptive if I just gave him a hug and let him calm down for a while.
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    I don't think so... I'm still livid. But please tell me what you think, outside observer.
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    IllustratorBubbly224 10h ago NTA. Your husband is a hypocrite. He did the exact same thing to you, and now he's shocked when his dad does it to him? He needs to learn to respect your boundaries, just like you had
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    to learn to respect his. You're not being selfish. You're allowed to be upset.
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    Kittytigris 10h ago NTA. I would have said, 'I guess you learned it from him. He ignores boundaries just like you. You should know what to do since you repeatedly do the same thing.'
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    endor-pancakes • 10h ago NTA, and your husband is more than a little self centered for not realizing he's TA here.
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    Those situations are pretty similar, and if there are any differences, they're not to his advantage. E.g. you could argue that the trust within a relationship (especially if you're expecting a child) is more important, so it's even shittier when that's broken. Repeatedly. God he's an a
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    stolenfires • 10h ago Criticizes you for... making your pregnancy... about yourself?! Did I that correctly?! read
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    NTA and I seriously hope this is just a brain on his part and not part of a pattern of how he treats you and your feelings.
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    kmflushing 10h ago Tell your husband he /S his father. Exactly. NTA.

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