Parents demand 24-year-old move back with them after years of no contact, he refuses and tells them off: “Moving away from you was the best decision I ever made”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. The relationship we have to our parents is something that affects us for the rest of our lives. It doesn't matter if we go no contact, if we move far away, or even if they pass. Their influence on us is eternal, and we as people should understand the idiosyncrasies of it all to really navigate life's tumults properly. It's an insight into our psyche, our behaviors, and even our attachment styles. 

For those of you who have great relationships with your parents, it's such a blessing. Not everyone is afforded the same treatment or support from their family. For those who don't have a good relationship, it may be safe to assume you moved out at a young age and never looked back. Going no contact or low contact can be essential for your mental health if you have parents who are toxic for your life. 

In the story below, the protagonist suffers from not-so-nice parents. They were never there for the protagonist, they made him feel horrible about himself, and they assumed the worst about his future. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my parents the best decision I ever made was moving away from our family?

    "You need to make amends for leaving"
    via Binyamin Mellish from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (24m) moved out of my parents house a week after my 18th birthday and my high school graduation and I never went back. This was very different from the rest of my family who stayed home until college started and made regular trips back home throughout their time in college,
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 03
    sometimes even moving back in and commuting daily. Instead I applied for college in a different state where I knew nobody and I left. I worked as much as I could all summer to save money and I used that to help me get by. For holidays and other times campus was closed I stayed with a few others who didn't have families to go home to or who couldn't return to theirs.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 04
    I didn't call or keep in touch with anyone in my family. They made a couple of calls that first year but those stopped and we didn't speak for several more years.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 05
    The reason for this is complicated to me but might seem so simple to others, idk. But I always felt like the back sheep of the family. I have ADD which made my attention span pretty awful and that's still something that isn't perfect. My ability to lose track of what I was doing or to lose concentration frustrated most of my family. My
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 06
    grades were the worst out of my whole family and that was due to the ADD but my parents weren't big on "excuses". They would always tell me I needed to do better, I needed to stop making excuses, they'd tell me to look at my siblings grades and they'd especially focus on my younger
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 07
    brother's grades and said if my younger sibling could get straight A's then so could I. And the straight A's thing was something all my siblings could do. They said it was in our bled to do good in school up my life. and I was
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 08
    My siblings would say I was just too dumb to do good in school. There were times my older siblings would be in charge when our parents went out and they'd take our younger brother and leave me at home alone and laugh about how I didn't even notice. Other times we were all out together and
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 09
    they abandoned me there and laughed about how bad my concentration was and how they'd tried to make everyone's life easier by leaving me good and open for a kidnapper.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 10
    When my parents would get embarrassed about my grades around others they'd start joking that I was switched at birth because nothing else could explain me being "the odd duck" of the family. They made those jokes enough times that I think it made other people uncomfortable. It was their own fault though. They always
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 11
    bragged to others about my siblings grades and when I got a mention it quickly became clear they didn't approve of me.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 12
    The one person I used to have on my side was my paternal grandma. Until I was 11 she was great. Then she started saying hurtful things and it turned out she had demential and that was why she changed so fast.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 13
    The one time I got an A in school nobody believed I had actually done it and they thought I bribed the teacher for the grade. Only reason I got it was the teacher was really great and he sat with me and helped me after school to do better.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 14
    When college was getting closer my parents didn't even talk to me about it like they had my siblings. They said they assumed I'd go there if I could even get in, but if not they expected I'd be staying and trying to figure out how to fix my life since I'd done nothing but destroy it since I was born.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10463203072
    via rattanakun / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    So I never told anyone my plans and then I moved out and all contact stopped. I struggled through college and met some good people. I moved around a bit before finding a great guy and settling down with him. I never even came out to my family because I didn't know how they'd
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 17
    take it. But outside their house I live as myself and I found people who love me.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10463202816
    via Ancika from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    One of my siblings reached out to me after Christmas and said mom and dad wanted to hear from me and I should call them. I debated it for a while but decided calling them was something I should do and at least get some closure if I didn't feel like we could have a relationship.
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 20
    So I called them up and I might have f ed up here but who knows. They said they were surprised I wasn't de d and had wondered if I'd ever reach out again. They wanted to know where I was and I gave them a state but nothing else. They wanted to know how long it took me to flunk out of college and whether I was an
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 21
    c. I told them I graduated and never touched Cior and I told them my life was the best it had ever been.
    via u/BackgroundGay6

  • If they're so disappointed in him, then why do they want him to come back to them? They haven't spoken in years, have no idea anything about him or his life, so why do they want to know him now? They can't force him to speak to them, much less drop his whole life and move back to his hometown. 

  • 22
    They more or less demanded that I move back to the home town and make amends for leaving and never coming back. They said it's not what our family does. I told them I had zero regrets and I said moving away from the family was the best thing I ever did. They started to protest but I asked them if anyone in the family actually liked me or
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 23
    cared about me or was it a pride thing with them. They told me I speak to them for the firs time in six years and I insult them and turn this into a pity party and they said I always liked to make excuses for not being successful. I didn't want to talk anymore so I ended the call and said it would be better if we didn't talk again.
    via u/BackgroundGay6

  • These parents sound awful! You can't make these things up, although I wish it was fiction. If only there were parenting classes for people to take, or even required to take. What are these monsters thinking treating their son like this?

  • 24
    They texted me a dozen or so times since the call and they told me I can't say something hurtful like moving away was the best decision I ever made and not expect there to be consequences. So was I TA?
    via u/BackgroundGay6
  • 25
    RaspberryPlus6016 • 23h ago NTA at all! Yeah they your parents, but you owe them nothing after how they treated you all those years and never once apologized to you or took ANY accountability for their actions.
    via u/RaspberryPlus6016
  • 26
    OldGmaw2023 • 23h ago Oh honey... Block all numbers / any way that any one messages you, Your Peace means more than DNA .... Pretend they ed in a car wreck
    via u/OldGmaw2023
  • 27
    Family is supposed to be Love & Support .. They never gave you that, so why do they care if you left > They probably care about 'Appearances' in Church / Town. It makes them 'look bad' that a child 'vanished'> People that were around 'know' why you left - the
    via u/OldGmaw2023
  • 28
    whispers about their cruelty, its not any concern about you > they could avoid questions about you by saying college for 4 - 6 years... Now - Where's the missing child?? Live your best life with the Family you've found > that Show you Love.. Hugs from Gma
    via u/OldGmaw2023

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