'My cat gaslight me': Person retells the hissterical story of how their sneaky cat made them believe their house was haunted

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    "[Today I messed up] by letting my cat gaslight me into thinking I was losing my mind"

    "Today, my cat decided to test my grip on reality."
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    So, I live alone, and I'm reasonably sure my apartment isn't haunted. But today, my cat decided to test my grip on reality.
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    This morning, I made a sandwich. I put the bread on the counter, turned around to grab the peanut butter, and when I turned back - the bread was gone. Vanished. No crumbs, no evidence, just gone.
  • 04
    I stood there, questioning every life decision that led to this moment. Did I ever actually take the bread out? Had I imagined it? Was I, in fact, the bread? Then I heard it. A tiny, smug little thump.
  • 05
    I looked over, and there was my cat, Mr. Pickles, sitting in the middle of the living room floor... on top of my slice of bread. Just sitting there. Like it was a normal thing to do. Like he hadn't just gaslit me into thinking I needed a brain scan.
  • 06
    He made direct eye contact. Held it. Then, ever so slowly, he started kneading the bread. Sir. That is my sandwich. What are we doing here.
  • 07
    I took it back (don't judge me, I'm broke), made my sandwich, and went about my day. Fast forward to lunch. I grab a plate, sit down to eat, and... my sandwich is missing.
  • 08
    Guess who's on the table, sitting on my sandwich like it's his throne? Mr. Pickles. Guess who now has a cat-shaped imprint on their peanut butter and jelly? Me.
  • 09
    I am being dominated in my own home by an eight-pound furball with a superiority complex. Send help. Or at least bread. TL;DR: My cat is gaslighting me by stealing my food and sitting on it like some kind of bread-hoarding goblin. I no longer trust reality.
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    Sailor_Chibi Please don't eat food that your cat's paws have been on no matter how broke you are. Cats use their paws to cover their and sh in the kitty litter. It's extremely unhygienic and very dangerous for you to do. Also, try to train your cat to stay off the counter and the table at least when you're standing right there.
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    CreativeBlocking OP You make a valid point, and now I have to reconsider my entire life. Mr. Pickles has clearly been playing the long con to slowly poison me with his bread-warming services.
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    HugoZHackenbush2 Mr Pickles should give you a heads up about kneading the bread.. That's the yeast he should do..
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    CreativeBlocking OP Honestly, I kneaded that pun almost as much as Mr. Pickles kneaded my bread. Thank you for your service.
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    rolyf ckingdiscopoly My cat stole a chip from me today. We KNEW he wanted to steal a chip. We were watching him. We said "do not steal a chip." But he's really fast!
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    CreativeBlocking OP Classic cat strategy: make you think you have control, then strike with lightning speed. Mr. Pickles and your cat might be in the same secret society.
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    Azzbolemighty Thank you for this story! You have a very funny way with words. This gave me a well needed chuckle this morning ☺
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    CreativeBlocking OP Glad it gave you a laugh! Meanwhile, Mr. Pickles is sitting here like a smug little dictator, knowing he runs this household.
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    elvbierbaum I feel ya, man. My cat was glaring at me as he slowly shoved a stack of envelopes off a shelf onto the floor. I tried to catch it but was too late. he just sauntered away, tail in the air, content with his completed task. little b rd.
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    CreativeBlocking OP They don't want food. They don't want pets. They just want to watch us struggle. Mr. Pickles would like to formally commend your cat for their dedication to the craft of elegant destruction.

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