19-year old guilted into babysitting half-siblings from dad's infidelity, finally takes a stand when he expects her to drop her weekend plans last-minute: "I never wanted siblings":

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 10, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Those with younger relatives are certainly no stranger to being relegated to the position of free babysitters. The first born of the family is often guilt-tripped into spending "quality time" with their siblings or cousins while the older generation relaxes. While it is certainly not uncommon, it is quite unfair to expect an older sibling or cousin to be constantly in charge of the safety and well-being of everyone younger than them. While there are certain emergency situations that require the entire family to lock in and help out, it really shouldn't be a common occurrence to expect kids to be in charge of kids.

In our story today, a young woman is constantly getting her dad's mistress's kids dumped on her lap. After years of being used for free childcare, she finally snaps when her dad expects her to drop everything one weekend to tend to the siblings that she never wanted. To read the full story, scroll down below. 

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  • 01

    AITA refusing babysit my half-siblings and telling my dad not his "backup mom"?

    mom. You "I'm not your backup chose to have more kids, and that's not my responsibility."
    via Cicy

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi Reddit, I (19F) think I might have gone too far, but I need some outside perspective.
    via u/MelyCute
  • 03
    For context, my parents divorced when I was 12 because my dad cheated on my mom with a younger woman, Emily (now 31F). It was a messy, ugly divorce, and my relationship with my dad has
    via u/MelyCute
  • 04
    been strained ever since. He married Emily pretty quickly, and they now have three kids under 5. Ever since the kids were born, he's been constantly asking me to "help out" with babysitting.
    via u/MelyCute
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10466110208
    via ASphotowed
  • 06
    I live with my mom and go to college full-time while working part-time to cover my expenses. Despite that, my dad calls me almost every week, begging me to come over and "bond with my siblings" by babysitting. He says Emily is overwhelmed and
    via u/MelyCute

  • He has no interest in his firstborn daughter's well-being. She's not just some kid in his house; she has a budding adult life to tend to, and he still only sees her as an extra hand when he needs it.

  • 07
    needs a break. I honestly don't care-I never wanted siblings, and I'm still not over the fact that his affair blew up our family. I've told him I'm busy with school and work, but he keeps guilt-tripping me, saying things like, "Family takes care of family."
    via u/MelyCute
  • 08
    Last weekend, he called again, practically demanding I babysit because Emily had a "mental breakdown." I lost it. I told him, "I'm not your backup mom. You chose to have more kids, and that's not my responsibility." He got quiet and then said, "I thought you were more mature than this," before hanging up on me.
    via u/MelyCute
  • 09
    ход
    via Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs
  • 10
    Now, both he and Emily have been sending me messages, calling me selfish and saying that I'm abandoning my family. My grandma even chimed in, saying I should "help my father in his time of need." But I feel like he's just trying to dump his problems on me because he made bad choices.
    via u/MelyCute

  • Grandma, if you really believe in “family helps family,” why don't you lend a hand instead of expecting the teenager to do it?

  • 11
    My mom thinks I did the right thing, but now half my family is p ed at me. AITA for refusing to help and saying what I did?
    via u/MelyCute
  • 12
    Artistic-Tough-7764 NTA. Guilt trips only work if your bags are packed. "I thought you were more mature than this," before hanging up on me. - I think that is in the dictionary under "irony"
    via u/Artistic-Tough-7764
  • 13
    voiceofmyownsanity "Well dad, I thought you were mature enough to be a parent, but clearly you weren't for me and still aren't. If things are so hard for Emily, maybe she shouldn't be a parent because I didn't decide to have children."
    via u/voiceofmyownsanity
  • 14
    NTA. The audacity of some people. They made their choice to break up a family and have their own children. Key word is it was their CHOICE. THEIRS. They don't get to force their choices on OP because the grave they dug is too deep. You don't screw people over and then expect them to bend over backwards for you.
    via u/voiceofmyownsanity
  • 15
    anon974683 I'm just curious if he's telling his new 20 year old mistress how mature she is too and is surprised that line doesn't work as well on his daughter.
    via u/anon974683
  • 16
    One-Low1033 NTA When Emily tells you you are selfish for abandoning your family, you can tell her, "Not nearly as selfish as you and my dad are for breaking up my family by lying and cheating and having an affair." She's got some nerve.
    via u/One-Low1033
  • 17
    saywhat252525 Oh, and Dad, Grandma just volunteered to look after the children because she believes family should help in times of need.
    via u/saywhat252525
  • 18
    Main-Yogurtcloset242 NTA. The nerve of him to explode YOUR family then expect you to pick up the slack with the new one he went out & created behind your mom's back. Tell him Emily was the answer to all his problems so she can continue to be that. Then tell your grandmother it's not your fault she raised a POS & help out "family" herself.
    via u/Main-Yogurtcloset24
  • 19
    ΝΤΑ lurninandlurkin Seems Emily's breakdown didn't impact her ability to text you with nasty comments. You sound like you have enough on your plate with study, work and rest time, if they want a break, they should hire a sitter.
    via u/lurninandlurkin
  • 20
    Oculus_Prime_ And if you can't handle children, don't have them. 3 under 5? That was a choice dad and Emily made, OP didn't have a vote.
    via u/Oculus_Prime_
  • 21
    Illgetdownvotedsadly They chose to bring those kids into the world knowing the responsibilities that come with it. It's unfair to put that burden on OP just because they're overwhelmed by their own choices.
    via u/Illgetdownvotedsadly
  • 22
    shammy_dammy NTA. No, you did not go too far. You went far enough. Those other family members can step in now. Tell them to stop with the messages or you'll block them.
    via u/shammy_dammy
  • 23
    Bid_Unable family should have been taking care of a family instead of a mistress. NTA live your life.
    via u/Bid_Unable
  • 24
    SuperPookypower For real. OP's mom is her family. Emily is just an affair partner, and I'm not a person who has any respect for affair partners.
    via u/SuperPookypower
  • 25
    Enchanted HoneyWhisp⚫ 1d NTA. You're not their parent, and you don't owe your dad free babysitting just because he chose to have more kids. It's totally understandable that you don't feel a strong connection to them, especially if he wasn't there for you growing up. If he wants childcare, he should figure it out himself instead of dumping the responsibility on you.
    via u/EnchantedHoneyWhisp

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childcare family drama siblings reddit story babysitting cheating divorce infidelity reddit thread Reddit entitled parents mistress relationships love daughter entitled people Father
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