Baby mama insists that the father of her 5-year-old son take responsibility for the unborn baby she had with another man after badmouthing him for years: 'Her family said I had poor character and would not be a good influence on my son'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 10, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Children deserve the best in this life. They are totally innocent in adult affairs, yet they are the people most affected by the good or bad decisions their parents make. It's unrealistic that every kid in the world has all the luxuries a Rockefeller might be privy to, but all kids should never be without food, shelter, or love. It's difficult when children, even children in the same family, are not privy to the same amount of privileges because of the circumstances of their birth. Older siblings are often born when their parents are young and stupid and make 500 daily mistakes. They might feel a bit resentful of their much younger siblings who were born when their parents chilled out and were a lot more financially responsible. Another example might be parents who go above and beyond for the needs of a medically complex child while leaving their other kid longing for any attention. 

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  • There are also cases where a mother is single, their kids have different fathers, and one of those fathers is more involved than the other. It's very sad for one kid to go without something the other has, but it isn't the responsibility of an ex to take on the responsibility of fathering another man's child. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10466408704
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for not wanting to do anything for my ex's unborn child?

    I (24m) have a son (5) with my ex Hailey (24f). We broke up three years ago and we share custody of our son. Our relationship was bad before we broke up. I could never do anything right. Hailey wanted to stay home with our son so I worked extra hard to provide for us but then she accused me of trying to keep her at home all the time by staying at work so late. If I took our son for
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    the day she'd accuse me of trying to come between them. But then if I spent time with him on and off throughout the day she'd accuse me of not being involved enough. She didn't like my cooking but complained when I didn't make more food. She also pissy when I'd make a pack lunch for her and when I made one just for me. She'd get pissy with me if
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    I didn't want her to go out with her friends if I had work in the morning. She told me a single parent would deal with work and getting up with a kid so I could. But if she wanted to go somewhere in the morning I better make sure I was there and waking up. It didn't matter that I was working crazy long hours so she didn't have to work. She told
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    me to be a real man. She also hated that I wouldn't spend time with her family but she always made sh up to them so they hated me. Like I could be feeding our son or playing with him and I was such an a hle for taking the baby from his mom according to the family. Or because I was playing with our son I was a lazy _ who never worked and wanted their poor daughter/sister to work.
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    I broke up with her because it wasn't healthy and only got worse. Her family told me they were glad she was finally done with a sh like me and she could do so much better.
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    A few months after we broke up she started dating this other guy. Then she wanted me out of our son's life and she tried to file for sole custody stating I didn't deserve to be a dad and I wasn't a good one. Her family all said I
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    had poor character and would not be a good influence on my son. The judge told them she should have chosen a different father then and our son had the right to a relationship with me. 50-50 was maintained.
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    My ex had her boyfriend threaten me twice and I reported him to the cops both times which got him a pretty strong warning the second time since I recorded him at my door.
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    They broke up 7 months ago because my ex is pregnant and he doesn't want a kid. For the past month she's been asking me to take her son on as my own. She sent me scan photos. She sent me a photo of our son in a big brother to be shirt. She sent baby photos of our son saying her son could be a mini version of him and how he deserves a dad like our son has. She told me it
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    would be cruel to have one with a dad and the other rejected by his. Especially when it's the baby being rejected. I told her I wasn't going to raise her son and tie myself to her more. I told her she needs to find someone who'll be good to both of the boys and focus on that OR just be a good mom and trust her son will be fine without a dad.
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    Her family tried to convince me but whenever I see them and they try this I ignore them and walk on without acknowledging them. The change since I was the worst influence ever when it was our son is startling. The other night my ex called me at 3am and I freaked out thinking something was wrong with our son. But
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    instead she was crying and worrying about her son and saying he needs me. I made it clear I'm not doing anything for her second child and she's on her own with him. I told her he will never be my son or my family and she needs to let it go.
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    Ever since that call her texts are angry instead of pleading and we're back to me being the worst. AITA for my stance?
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    Wrong_Moose_9763 Well, we know where her crazy comes from, unfortunately nothing anyone does is going to fix the whole lot of those crazies. Hold your ground and stay out of there. I'm sorry your son will be calling her mom. You are NTA though.
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    AmandaESS yeah, that whole situation sounds like a mess. nothing to do but keep boundaries strong and focus on the kid. nta for sure
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    iloveducks101 • 2d ago Top 1% Commenter Offer to take 100% custody of your son to make her life easier since she seems to be so stressed out right now. NTA.
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    Ok_Fun9075 I agree with this then he shouldn't have to deal with her crazy a
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    BadCutter 101 That would definitely shift the responsibility back to her and show how serious she is about parenting.
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    SunbeamSasha That would also give him the breathing room to focus on being a good dad without the chaos from her. If she truly cares, she'd rethink her approach and responsibilities.
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    Alternative-Dance661 Exactly. Offering full custody of your son would make her consider whether she's truly ready to handle raising two children. It could also give you peace of mind knowing you're helping without being pressured into an unfair situation.
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    Lazy-Instruction-600 Can you imagine how insufferable she will be when the other child is born? Constantly wanting to reschedule drop offs or dump both boys with OP on his time once the baby is older because she "deserves" some alone time?
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    OP - you need to keep ALL communications and start a file. This is only going to get worse before it gets better. The audacity of people to think someone should take responsibility for a child that isn't theirs just because they made bad choices. She and her family maligned your character and now they want you to swoop in and save her from herself?!?!? Absolutely not. She FAFO'd. NTA.
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    Noirceuil_182 OP - you need to keep ALL communications and start a file. This is only going to get worse before it gets better. OP is focusing on how upsetting this is to him (which it completely is!), but it won't be long before the ex and her family weponize OP's son against him.
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    I for one don't believe they aren't performing or using alienating behavior and speech around his son now, even if it's not a concerted effort OP really needs to get ahead of this in court now.
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    Mammoth-Opening-8874 Document everything and always make your stance clear. If she's willing to do everything she's done so far, she'll be bitter and upset enough to try to do everything in her power to keep doing those things. NTA. You provide for your other son and you aren't responsible for her terrible choices in life, she should've realized what she had when she had it.
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    mca2021 What I came to say. The other concern I have is parental alienation, her badmouthing him because he's "a terrible father" to his little half brother. He needs to record his son saying some of this stuff, or have a witness around. Better yet, get this little boy in therapy I'd also remind her family that according to them he's a POS, a terrible father etc so why do they want him around their new grandchild?
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    mcmurrml NTA. So now this other guy dumped her and her family called you basically a POS and she deserved better. Well she got better didn't she. She thought the grass was greener on the other side. Now she knows she f_$@#_ up. You told her nothing doing and ignore everything else she sends except for your child. Start using a parenting app. If she doesn't agree to the parenting app have the judge order it. With your young child this is money well spent. All correspondence is documented and the
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    Leading Race3785 OP I'm saving all the messages and documenting them with my lawyer so we can try to make a case for something to change. Not sure full custody is going to be an option because the courts do everything to try and keep both parents on 50-50 but maybe a judge will agree that it's better for our son. Who knows anymore. I just want the best for my son.
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    MissHoney Definitely go back to a judge and point out the change in the character witness claims, the threats made to you by her choice in partner (and the potential danger that put your son in) and the harassment she's doing to you and how she believes she wont be able to cope with 2 babies (try to record her saying it for back up) and ask for either majority or sole custody of your son to get away from this craziness
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    Leading Race3785 OP I don't think I'll be able to get 50-50 that easily. The courts fight hard to maintain it so I'll need to wait until after the baby's born and see if she can talk more about not coping. Otherwise I'll be throwing money away when I really can't afford to do that. I document everything she sends me though.
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coparenting baby ex girlfriend mother crazy things parents say ex boyfriend parenting exes dad mom Parenting Fail son Father family drama parents Parenting FAILS
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