‘This is an absurd expectation’: Financially stable man refuses to give brother $5k toward his honeymoon and stands firm amidst guilt-tripping and familial pressure

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Feb 15, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Weddings are expensive, there's no doubt about that. Couples in love shell out thousands upon thousands of dollars to celebrate their love the way they'd like to, and more power to them. An extravagant wedding is obviously going to be more expensive than Elvis officiating your union in a Las Vegas chapel, but if a big wedding with an even bigger bill is in your budget, no skin off of my (or your) back. Honeymoons are even more expensive. Couples need to divvy out how much money they want to put toward their catering/florals/media for the wedding reception and what they want to set aside for their honeymoon, if applicable. Couples, however, cannot rely on family cash contributions if it's not promised to them. If they expect a large sum of money simply for tying the knot, they're in for a real surprise. Cash gifts are a "nice-to-have," not a requirement.

The guy in this story refuses to give his brother $5k toward his honeymoon and continues to refuse despite his brother's attempt at guilt-tripping. His fiancée is in on the guilt-tripping, too, as well as the guy's family. Even though the man is financially stable, he doesn't see how the expectation of a $5k cash contribution is completely absurd to his brother, his brother's fiancée, and his family. They get more entitled as the story progresses. Scroll below to get the story in detail.

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  • "He wanted me to contribute $5,000 because I ‘make the most money' in the family."
    via Getty Images for Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for Telling My Brother I Won’t Fund His Honeymoon?"

    My brother (35M) is getting married in a few months to his fiancée (30F), and I (37M) was honored when he asked me to be his best man. I've been happy to help with wedding planning,
    via Princessii21
  • organizing the bachelor party, and even covering some costs here and there, like renting the suits and pitching in for the venue deposit. But then he hit me
    via Princessii21
  • with an unexpected request. He and his fiancée expect me (along with the other groomsmen and bridesmaids) to contribute toward their honeymoon.
    via Princessii21
  • At first, I thought it was just a general "If you'd like to give a gift, here's what we'd love" situation, which would've been totally fine. But no this was more of an expectation, and specifically, he wanted me to contribute $5,000 because I "make the most money" in the family.
    via Princessii21

  • You see this kind of tale time and time again. Once someone has heavy pockets, expect the vultures and hyenas to come and try to sniff out the good old green bills that are tucked away. Some family members see an advantage once another one of their family members comes into some money, and that brings out their true colors. A wedding gift of $5k is absurd in any scenario you could dream up for this story, let alone the scenario that's actually happening. The very fact that this amount of money is an expectation is what is throwing me, and likely you, for a loop. The sheer entitlement is baffling, and it only gets worse from here. 

  • Cheezburger Image 10466924288
    via Getty Images for Unsplash+
  • For context, yes, I have a well- paying job, but that doesn't mean I have $5K just lying around to give away. I have my own financial obligations, mortgage, student loans, savings, and honestly, my own life to think
    via Princessii21
  • about. When I told my brother that while I was happy to support his wedding in other ways, I wasn't comfortable giving that much for a honeymoon, he got annoyed and said: "It's not about the money it's about showing support for us."
    via Princessii21
  • I told him that my support was already there I was standing by his side, helping organize things, and even paying for some wedding related expenses. But
    via Princessii21
  • he doubled down, saying that since I was "the most financially stable" it wouldn't be a big deal for me to contribute and that it was kind of selfish for me to say no.
    via Princessii21
  • His fiancée later sent me a very passive aggressive text, saying "We just thought you of all people would want to make our honeymoon special, but I guess we miscalculated."
    via Princessii21
  • Now things are tense. My brother has been distant and my parents think I should just pay to "keep the peace" and his fiancée keeps making little digs whenever we're around mutual friends. They're planning a luxury honeymoon in Greece, and while I could afford to help, I really don't think it's my responsibility.
    via Princessii21
  • The wedding is coming up, and now I'm worried that standing my ground is going to ruin our relationship. Part of me wonders if I am being stingy, or if I should've at least offered something to smooth things over. But another part of me feels like this is an absurd expectation.
    via Princessii21
  • Professional-Face... Never do anything "to keep the peace". They lost the argument right there. Your brother and his fiancee are being ridiculous. If they can't afford the honeymoon on their own, they don't take a honeymoon. It's not your responsibility, regardless of your job or stability or anything else.
    via Professional-Face709
  • VickiHex NTA. Generosity is a gift, not an obligation asking for $5K and guilting family for a luxury honeymoon crosses a serious line.
    via VickiHex
  • Square-Minimum-... Shouldn't it be their love that makes the honeymoon special? NTA. Cut the gravy train off now before they start demanding a down payment for a house.
    via Square-Minimum-6042
  • random_characte... Oh, c'mon. NTA. Unless you've made a habit of throwing this kind of cash at all of your relatives' weddings, it's absolutely out of bounds trying to guilt you into it. Your brother is a real piece of work...
    via random_characters42
  • SockMaster9273 NTA "It's not about the money. It's about showing your support" he knows you can do this without spending $5,000, right?
    via SockMaster9273
  • Stellar_Star_Seed The kind of man who gets upset that someone else won't fund his life is the kind of man I don't want to know. NTAH. The rest of your family is tho.
    via Stellar_Star_Seed

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reddit stories family drama aita entitlement AITAH brother entitled family reddit story family feud wedding entitled family subreddit reddit thread Reddit fiancee entitled people honeymoon
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