‘This leaves me alone in the flat with two men who are not legal tenants’: Roommate moves in boyfriend and unknown strangers to apartment, fills the place with their belongings and lets them take over the flat, pushing young woman to contact the landlord

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 14, 2025 12:00 AM EST

Shared housing is a minefield of potential conflicts, where personalities clash, habits differ, and rules are tested. It's a setting where even the most minuscule issues can balloon into full-blown crises, and seemingly reasonable people turn into territorial champions of cleanliness and noise control. 

It's like playing a game of Russian roulette with your sanity. Every morning, you wonder if your roommates will remember to buy toilet paper or if they'll turn the kitchen into a biohazard. It's the perfect blend of communal living, awkward small talk, and the constant hope that your space won't be transformed into a college dorm without your consent. But hey, at least the rent is split, right? RIGHT?

But beyond the petty disputes over dishes or whose turn it is to take out the trash, lies a more complex web of personal boundaries, respect, and the ever-present threat of absolute chaos when someone decides to rewrite the rules. 

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  • "AITA for telling my landlord my roommate moved her boyfriend in without permission?"

    "They are messy and the living room is barely usable because the stranger's stuff is all over"
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  • I (22F) am currently renting a room in 3 bedroom flat. One of the rooms belongs to the landlord and the other room has been rented out to my roommate (23F). My landlord stays with his
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  • One woman recently found herself in the thick of such mayhem. Her roommate moved her boyfriend in without permission, and things quickly spiraled: strangers living in the living room, constant gatherings, and blatant disregard for the lease. After weeks of trying to tolerate the situation, she finally contacted the landlord.

  • girlfriend most of the time. He usually only drops by to do some maintenance and only stays the night about once every couple months.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • The problem began when my new roommate moved into the house back in October. She has never been outwardly r de or mean to me, but during her first
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  • week in the flat, I had to ask her keep the noise down when she had friends over late at night (between 12-5am) and ask her boyfriend to stop peeing on the toilet seat.
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  • Since then, the pee on the toilet seat has mostly stopped, but she still would have friends over late and I noticed no effort to be quieter. I work as a barista and I
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  • Cheezburger Image 10467263744
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • have to wake up early most days so this became annoying fast. She never asked or let me know ahead of time if people were coming over.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • Her and her friends/boyfriend are also really messy. The worst was leaving raw chicken in a bowl where the clean dishes were left to dry and someone throwing up in the sink and not cleaning it up properly.
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  • Now all of this was annoying, but it was no reason to contact the landlord. I wanted to mention these things so that everyone can get the full picture.
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  • The lease states that the landlord must be notified if a tenant has an overnight guest more than one or two nights a week. My
    via cowbuoybaby
  • roommate's boyfriend stayed over probably 4 days a week when my roommate first moved in. I honestly wasn't too bothered by this.
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  • Then a few weeks ago, they started to bring in a bunch of boxes and bags, leaving them in the hallway area as they tried to find space for them in her room and in the hallway closet. After
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  • that, her boyfriend was there every day and night. He'd let himself into the house and invite his friends over while my roommate wasn't there. I realised she moved him in without asking me!!
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  • This felt extremely disrespectful, especially since bills are split between each room, so I was paying the same amount as the both of them combined even though they would be using more electricity and gas.
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  • About a week after the boyfriend moved in, I was waiting for the bathroom in the morning and was surprised to see a stranger walk out after using the shower. I was like... okay whatever.. because maybe his shower at
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  • home was broken or something. was a little bit annoyed that I wasn't informed about it. But the following day I went into the living room to eat my breakfast and that same guy was sleeping
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  • on the couch. Again, this didn't bother me too much because I assumed he might need a place to stay for a couple days. I was more bothered about not being asked or informed about it because it is a shared living room.
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  • Unfortunately, the stranger didn't just need a place to stay for a couple nights. It's been 2 weeks and he is now living in the living room. He takes 30 minute showers every morning, leaving
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • water all over the floor, and has left all of his things all over the living room. He will knock on the door and when I answer it, he walks in past me barely saying
    via cowbuoybaby

  • When roommate drama crosses the line into disrespect which in turn turns communal living into a nightmare, where does one draw the line?

  • hello. I don't even know his name. It seems like he was invited by my roommate's boyfriend to stay in the house even though the boyfriend isn't a legal tenant.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • About a week ago, my roommate left the country to visit family for a few weeks. This leaves me alone in the flat with two men who are not legal tenants. The boyfriend has friends over every day and
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  • they smoke ciga ttes and w d indoors (another violation of the lease). They are messy and the living room is barely usable because the random guy's stuff is all over.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • Last night I went into the living room to look for something and the stranger was asleep on the couch. I decided I had enough at that moment and messaged my landlord letting him know that roommate's boyfriend has been
    via cowbuoybaby
  • living here for 3 weeks and that I was never informed about it. I also let him know about the guy staying in the living room and using the utilities for the past couple of weeks. He said that he would look into the issue but I asked to be left out of it until after I move (end of Feb).
    via cowbuoybaby
  • The reason I am asking if I'm the ah le is because before my roommate left to visit family, she spoke to me about how the past few months have been very difficult for her. She was nearly in tears as she confided that she
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  • isn't even sure about her boyfriend. This made me consider that maybe her boyfriend could be controlling. I started to think that maybe I shouldn't tell my landlord because the only person who would get into real trouble would be her when the actual issue could just be her boyfriend.
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  • I'm not sure if this is the case, but it seems plausible. Even though she never considered how I felt about him moving in, I felt bad for her. During that conversation, she also admitted that her boyfriend moved in without the landlord's permission and implied he had no plans to find his own place.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • One more thing that crossed my mind while I was thinking about telling my landlord was how this could affect her visa status. She's not a citizen of the country we live in and is on a graduate visa. If she were to be evicted (I'm not sure if my landlord would do that, but I'm pretty sure he'd be within his rights to), it might affect her visa somehow.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • After I told my landlord last night, I have started to feel a little bit guilty, especially since I'm moving out so soon. AITA?
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  • desert_dame Call the landlord asap. It's turning into a squatters paradise
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  • Alert Weakness_2024 ΝΤΑ Roommate gave you her blessings to tell the Landlord about the illegal squatters the moment she told you that she's scared of her boyfriend then turned around and left you with him + another squatter.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • MunchieMe 1982 You did the right thing by telling the landlord. Your roommate has put you in possible danger.
    via cowbuoybaby
  • Beautiful_mistakes Honestly it's not your problem to bear. It's incredibly unfair that you're uncomfortable in your own home. So not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. I would have told my landlord asap.
    via cowbuoybaby

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boyfriend friendship landlord hoa bad friend best friends roommate bad roommates friends psycho roommate girlfriend friend mean girls Party roommates
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