Woman demands marriage counseling after husband refuses to stop coworker from acting like his ‘work wife', he goes and tells coworker about it instead: ‘She's trying to destroy my marriage’

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  • "The real problem is that Mark thinks she's just being funny""
  • "My husband doesn't see how his 'work wife' is trying to destroy our marriage"

    I (31F) am at my wit's end. with my husband's (32M) coworker Sarah (30F), and his complete inability to see what's happening. I'm not usually one for reddit, but I need to know if I'm going crazy here.
  • Where do I even start? Three years ago, my husband Mark started working with Sarah. At first, I tried to be welcoming. I invited her to our BBQs, included her in
  • group outings, and genuinely tried to be friendly. Big mistake. She spent the entire time making backhanded comments about everything from my career ("Oh, you're just a
  • yoga instructor? How... peaceful.") to my cooking ("I guess not everyone can master basic seasoning."). The real problem is that Mark thinks she's "just being
  • funny." Last month, she literally threw away the anniversary mug I gave him because it "clashed with the office aesthetic." When I got upset, Mark said I was being too sensitive and that "Sarah
  • just has high standards for office decor." IT WAS A MUG WITH OUR WEDDING PHOTO ON IT. Some greatest hits from Sarah:
  • Some greatest hits from Sarah: • She scheduled a "mandatory" work dinner on our anniversary
  • • She convinced Mark not to take a promotion because it would mean working with a different team • She posts daily photos of them together with hashtags like #WorkPowerCouple and #WorkSpouse
  • • She tells everyone at their office that she "takes better care of him than I do" • She changed his coffee order and now tells everyone she "trained him right"
  • The worst part? My husband is completely blind to all of this. Yesterday, he actually told me about how Sarah said our new house (which we spent months searching for) was "charming, in a
  • starter home kind of way." He repeated this while LAUGHING. I tried talking to him about it, but Sarah has convinced him I'm "just insecure." She's managed to insert herself into every aspect of our lives.
  • Last week, I suggested marriage counseling. He looked genuinely confused. He of course went and talked to Sarah about it I found out from another coworker that she's been telling people that
  • Mark and I are "going through a rough patch" and that she's "just being a good friend by giving him someone to talk to." We weren't going through anything until she started this nonsense!
  • The breaking point? I stopped by his office to surprise him with lunch (I know, I know, but it was his birthday and Sarah was supposedly out sick). Guess who was there? Sarah. She'd
  • "miraculously recovered" and bought him a cake that said "To my work hubby" with a photo of them from the office holiday party. She saw me and said, "Oh, Amy! You came too... how nice. Mark, you didn't tell me your real wife was coming!"
  • Happy Bathay
  • I'm not crazy, right? This woman is trying to destroy my marriage while my husband stands there grinning like it's all some big joke. What do I do? Divorce seems extreme, but I'm running out of options here.
  • TL;DR: My husband's "work wife" is actively trying to sabotage our marriage while he remains completely oblivious to her obvious manipulation.
  • ETA: I should have stated that the promotion wasn't one that would increase his salary but his title. It would give him more leadership experience. It still blows my mind that he
  • turned it down just so he could stay on the same team as her. ETA: I should have told the mug story in its entirety. She "accidentally" broke the mug.
  • I noticed it was gone when I was visiting him one day and I asked him about it. He said she accidentally knocked it over and then later he repeated a "joke"she made about how it didn't fit the office aesthetic.
  • Forward_Most_1933 You have a husband problem. Go to counseling and get professional help to communicate your concerns. Remind him that he's married to you, not Sarah so her
  • opinions shouldn't matter when it comes to your marriage. Good luck, but be prepared for the worst.
  • MedievalMissFit Sarah would not be able to sabotage your marriage if your husband wasn't allowing it.
  • Thelostsoulinkorea Your husband totally knows what is happening and is just ignoring you. Time to get counselling or time to think about whether the marriage is worth it.
  • I'm a guy, and this screams him enjoying having two girls fawning over him. There is just no chance in h I he doesn't know the other girl is wanting him. Also turning down the promotion is mental!

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