17-year-old overlooked by family for being a single sibling among two sets of twins, they turn on him when he begs them to come to his graduation: “You’re emotionally manipulating us”

Family dynamics are always tough. No one's family is perfect, and everyone has their own insecurities in family contexts. It might be that you're the youngest of several siblings who were born close together, or maybe you're the older one and your younger siblings are best friends. Maybe you're the middle child and a guy, with an older and younger sister, or maybe the reverse. There's a slew of dynamics that can come up with sibling rivalry, competition, discomfort, or just plain insecurity. I once had a friend who had a complex from being an only child, and she thought that all her life problems would be cured if she had a sibling. She associated siblings with an everlasting friend, a forever companion. From people who do grow up with siblings, this usually isn't the case. Not everyone has a good relationship with their siblings. 

In the story below, a 17-year-old is forgotten for being a singlet with twin siblings. His parents were floored when they found out they were having twins, but to have lightning strike twice? It made them feel so special and connected to their unique set of twins. Then they had their fifth kid, but there wasn't the same celebration and attention around him, creating insecurities in his life. 

Author image for Briana Viser Briana Viser
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    "You don't need to be jealous of the attention other kids get”
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    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    My parents struggled to have kids and went on fertility treatments to have my siblings and the result was two sets of non-identical boy/girl twins who LOOK identical pretty much. The older twins are Max and Amy and the younger twins are Jace and Lacy. Our family has always been so obsessed with the fact there were two sets of twins
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    born to the same parents in our family and that they could pass for identical even though they're the opposite s
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    Birthdays, Christmas, school plays, sports games, report cards, graduations and everything was a huge deal and celebrated as this great thing. My siblings had so many parties thrown for them and so many reasons given to get them gifts that it was insane.
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  • 05
    I was born 6 years after Jace and Lacy and my family can't hide their disappointment in a singleton. My birthdays were never a big deal and I didn't get the same attention for Christmas, report cards, sports games or school plays. For my siblings the whole family would try to show up and support and I was
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    lucky to have one parent at any of my stuff. My report cards were never celebrated either.
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  • This family seems like a family of narcissists. I can't believe they're turning his pain on him, and not taking responsibility for anything. That's the telltale sign of someone who lacks any amount of compassion or empathy. Of course he wants his family at his graduation, and they're making it seem like he's out of line. 

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    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    I'm not too close to my siblings. They don't notice me much and enjoy the attention a lot so it's easy for me to slide through the cracks with them. But even our parents don't put the same amount of attention and effort into me.
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    My graduation was a topic of conversation a weekend ago. My siblings can't make it because of work or college stuff and the rest of the family was like well I guess we don't need to plan around my graduation. I told them I'd still like everyone there and they said I didn't need anyone there. I asked why my siblings had and they said
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    it was such a big deal for twins and when they're one of two sets born to the same parents and could pass for identical. They said that's something to celebrate. I told my family it's not my fault I wasn't a twin and I didn't get why I was being overlooked. My grandpa said at 17 I don't need to be jealous of
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    attention other kids get and as a boy I shouldn't get caught up in that kind of stuff. I said even teenage guys want to feel like they matter. My family said I was being unreasonable. One of my aunts said I was gaslighting the family while my grandma, parents and a couple of other aunts and uncles said I was emotionally trying to manipulate them.
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    They wanted me to apologize to everyone for telling them it's not my fault I'm not a twin because nobody ever said it was. AITA?
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    Thehobbitgirl88 NTA. I am so sorry your family sks so much. It's not gaslighting people to say "I matter too." I hope you have, or find, amazing friends to be a found family cause you deserve live, attention and support.
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    Nolntroduction 1035 NTA I'm sorry. The only thing I can say is get so successful then never speak to them again. Change your will to make sure your money never goes to them just be better than they ever will.
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    elicia86 I'm sorry? You're gaslighting THEM?! That's laughable. Nta
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    Orisha_Oshun Go and live yer best life, and when you become successful, if they ask you for anything, just be like, "sorry, im a singleton, i can't share with anyone but meself"!!
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    cptlwstInd You don't need to apologize. Also the twin thing isn't a big deal. Your mom took some meds and dropped extra eggs and had them two at a time. I would tell your family to f a cactus
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    legallychallenged 123 Yikes. So your parents went through all this time, money, and effort to have a large family and they treat you like a throwaway. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that happening to be born on the same day as another sibling was such a significant accomplishment.
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  • Emotionally manipulative? Gaslighting? The only people doing the emotional manipulation and gaslight here is OP's family. How could they expect him to just be ignored his whole life? He's just a kid, he wants love and to be recognized for his successes and life accomplishments. 

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    FlinflanFluddle4 Aren't twins more likely with fertility treatments? Regardless, this is sad. There's no reason to treat you differently because you didn't share a womb with someone else.
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    'as a boy I shouldn't get caught up in that kind of stuff' that doesn't even make any sense, but given it's your grandfather he probably truly believes it Edit: NTA
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    CAAugirl Hey kid, this internet auntie is proud of you for everything you've done. It's hard and upsetting right now but you're showing more courage and strength than they can imagine.
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    And soon you'll be heading to college and that's where the rubber meets the road. The hardest part about family is coming to the realization that they're not Family. Family loves you, cares about you, encourages you, supports you, and takes care of you.
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    Relatives are people who have similar DNA and the same lineage. The are not the same. Also, NTA.
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family drama drama teenagers siblings family feud relationships lol love neglect family ignored reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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