‘I never even call her mom’: Stepmom takes offense after stepson refuses to list her as ‘mother of the groom’ on his wedding invitation, family takes her side

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 24, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Many women dream of how their perfect wedding would look and feel. They imagine how their dress would look, what the venue would be like, and how happy they would be on the day. Not much can deter them from making their dream come true… until the time comes to actually plan the wedding. 

When you start planning your dream wedding, you also begin wondering if it is actually worth it. There is so much drama and ego when planning a wedding, from pretty much everyone involved, that it becomes impossible to truly get the wedding you always dream of. It simply becomes a game of who can you please the most and how, and you end up completely losing sight of how you wanted that day to look.

Don't get me wrong, most weddings turn out to be beautiful and dreamlike despite all the drama, but not without sacrifices. And it makes one wonder if having your dream wedding is something that actually exists, or if you are simply better off lowering your expectations from day one.

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  • The bride and groom in the story below have just started planning their wedding, and they are already facing some unexpected setbacks from their family.

    Who knew so many people have such strong opinions about a wedding invitation?

    Keep scrolling to read what the whole family drama is about…

  • 01
    "Her expectations are unrealistic"
    via iiievgeniy
  • 02

    "AITA for listing my stepmom as stepmother of the groom instead of mother of the groom on our wedding invites and program?"

    My fiancée and I finalized our wedding invitations and our wedding program designs. The wording we chose has bothered some of my family and I'm here to find out if I'm TA or not.
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 03
    My fiancée's parents are both alive and married so she just has them as Father and Mother of the Bride. My mom d d when I was in elementary school and
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 04
    dad remarried when I was in middle school. My stepmom's my stepmom. I don't call her mom and never introduced her as my mom. And I wanted to
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 05
    mention my mom on the invites and program too. So I had it worded as Late Mother, Father and Stepmother. Nothing has been sent out yet or printed. But we had
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 06
    some family over for a dinner on Sunday night and they wanted to see what we decided on. That's when some family spoke in protest at listing my stepmom as stepmother vs mother.
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 07
    The people upset were my youngest full sister who calls our stepmom mom and two of my half siblings. Dad had asked why not just say parents of the bride and parents of the groom
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 08
    and save labeling anyone as a step or as a lesser parent when my stepmom has been around a long time now. My stepmom suggested mom should have been listed last
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 09
    instead of first. My fiancée said being d d didn't make her less important and that we didn't need their opinions on our choice of words because everyone got mentioned.
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 10
    But my three siblings who complained said it was mean for me to put her as step on them. My younger full sister who doesn't call our stepmom mom either
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 11
    spoke in my defense and said she'd write it the same way if she were the one getting married. It was just an overly dramatic issue. And
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 12
    honestly the program was just covered in our wedding package so we didn't intend to do it. Personally I don't see why mom has to come last and why I need to list my
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 13
    stepmom as my mother instead of stepmother, when she is my stepmother. This whole thing has not blown over since Sunday night and my dad sent me a bunch of screenshots with "proof"
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 14
    that listing everyone as parents instead of by official title is better. And my youngest (full) sister has continued to bring up how bad she feels that my
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 15
    stepmom has to always be reminded she's a step. She said if she could accept her fully me and our sister could do it too. But she was younger than us and it made a difference. She also
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 16
    said she wouldn't mention our shared mom if she got married and she'd rather not have something morbid like that and instead focus on the living mom she has.
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 17
    My stepmom hasn't said more but I could tell she was feeling hurt. I know she's entitled to her feelings and I won't discount them. We don't have a bad relationship.
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 18
    But I have never called her mom so I don't see why this expectation was ever there to begin with. AITA though?
    via Otherwise-Fox-1644
  • 19
    Mr&Mrs J Smith Request the company of at the marriage of their daughter Sarah to Mr. James Jones Saturday 15th Aug 20
    via wragg
  • 20
    AmyOfTheAshTree If I was your stepmom and saw that you'd included me on the invite alongside your father and mother, I'd feel incredibly honoured and loved. I don't understand why they're all so offended. NTA
    via AmyOfTheAshTree
  • 21
    celticmusebooks The other option would be to leave stepmom off of the formal invitation. "OP, Daughter of Joe OP and the late Josephine OP"
    via celticmusebooks
  • 22
    Mentioning your step mom on the invite was generous on your part but if she doesn't appreciate that then leave her off. NTA
    via celticmusebooks
  • 23
    tempdump9 NTA - If that's not working for her, there's always "Dad's Second Wife"
    via tempdump9
  • 24
    False-Bandicoot-6813 OP the drama is just beginning with the invitations. Do what makes you and your fiancée happy and move forward. You can't make everyone happy. I would've done the same and you are NTA. Good luck on the additional planning and block their noise.
    via False-Bandicoot-6813
  • 25
    Knittingfairy09113 NTA It absolutely makes sense to honor your actual mom and you have never had a parental relationship with your dad's wife. Her expectations are unrealistic.
    via Knittingfairy09113

Tags

family drama aita bride marriage groom drama mother Wedding Invitation stepmom reddit story relationships wedding couples love family Reddit Father
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