18-year-old woman “abandons” her father’s affair partner’s 5-year-old son, she refuses to attend his birthday party and grandparents guilt her for it: “We don’t like who you’re becoming”

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  • 01

    AITA for defending my right to skip a birthday party for my dad's almost stepkid and for insulting his affair partner?

    "He's not my problem and I don't care about him"
  • 02
    Last year my mom and I (18F) found out dad was having an affair with a new co-worker of his. She was a single mom and when the affair came to light she approached mom and me and said her ex was a deadbeat and dad was good to her son and she wanted us to be respectful and accept the changes with grace because a little boy's
  • 03
    chance to grow up with a father figure was on the line. Mom and I told her where to go and mom warned her she wasn't welcome at our house.
  • 04
    Because I was still 17 when my parents separated custody was a thing and a judge said I needed to spend every other weekend with my dad until my 18th birthday. Dad wanted more time but I wanted none and the judge went in the middle. I hated it but once I was 18 it was over.
  • 05
    My parents divorce finalized a few weeks after my birthday and so we were free of dad forever.
  • 06
    When I spent weekends at my dad's house his affair partner tried to befriend me and she tried to make me play sister with her kid. I was ride to her and made it clear she was not my friend and I wasn't going to be nice. She tried her whole bs speech again about her son and I told her I didn't care about him. That he was not my problem and not my responsibility.
  • 07
    But I couldn't be a to a kid so when he was around me I was nice to him and he got attached. I didn't. Honestly I hated when he'd seek me out but he was a kid so I dealt with that nicely.
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    Cheezburger Image 10473878528
  • 09
    Dad told me he didn't want his affair to change our relationship and he said he wanted me to stay his little girl. I made it clear his actions had changed things and our relationship wasn't going to be the same ever. I said there wasn't going to be one as soon as I could stop seeing him. He fought against
  • 10
    what I said and wanted therapy with me but I refused to go. To me cheating is disgusting. Had my dad just left mom when he was unhappy? That's fine. I wouldn't have been mad. Divorces happen. I know cheating does too. But cheating is so disrespectful and disgusting and to expect me to play family with that woman? Never.
  • 11
    So my anger isn't just at this affair partner. It's at him too. It always will be.
  • 12
    Anyway, sorry, I just wanted to say that. I got an invite to the kid's birthday party. I'm guessing he's. about 5? I'm not totally sure. But I knew I wasn't going so I ignored it. My dad complained to my grandparents about my no showing and upsetting the kid.
  • 13
    They wanted to know why I didn't show and they said I should have come and let him see I wasn't abandoning him. I told them he wasn't mine to abandon and I'm not going to stay in his life. They told me he's a kid. I said he's a kid
  • 14
    who isn't my problem. They wanted me to feel bad and I made sure they knew I didn't feel bad and knew I didn't have to. They disagreed.
  • 15
    Then the affair partner showed up while I was walking home from work to talk about my no showing and she wanted me to know her son missed me. I told her to leave me alone but she kept taking and she was saying so much cr p about her son's feelings. I told her to leave me alone and she was one of the last people I wanted to hear
  • 16
    Definition of divorce Eng Divorce The le nt body.
  • 17
    from but she still didn't let it go so I told her the last person I wanted to hear from was a dirty disgusting homewrecker like her who sleeps with married men. I told her she is repulsive in my eyes and like I told her months before she was never going to be my friend. I think my choice of words startled the ....' out of her and I got away from her fast and made it home.
  • 18
    My grandparents heard about what I said and texted me about that and the party and said they didn't like who I was becoming. I replied that I didn't like who their son became either so maybe take a look at that. They kept texting me all this crazy anger and I blocked them for a while.
  • 19
    But I guess I know I could have kept walking and stuff so AITA for the party and what I said to the affair partner?
  • 20
    Librarian Neat1999 • 15h ago You are not the A. sweetie but dad, his side piece and his parents are.
  • 21
    facinationstreet • 15h ago You and your mother should explore a cease and desist letter with an attorney and what next steps might be if your father's affair partner doesn't leave you alone. It is egregious that she showed up
  • 22
    to tell you and your mother to get over the affair. It is doubly egregious that she showed up to accost you while you were walking home alone. NTA
  • 23
    ForwardPlenty • 15h ago NTA. Your father's affair fundamentally changed your relationship with him. He was unfaithful to your mother and also to you. He broke up your family. You owe him nothing, and certainly don't need to pretend to be happy family
  • 24
    for appearance sake, which is what they want. You didn't ask to be a big sister to someone you are not related to, and their approach is insulting and demeaning. Block them and live your best life.

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