Manager docks 10% off model employee's performance review bonus because he doesn't want to be friends with his coworkers: ‘I just want to do my work [in] peace’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Mar 5, 2025 7:00 AM EST

The workplace isn't a playground in the second grade. Some employees want to get in and get out without forming lasting friendships, and that's completely okay so long as they're not creating a hostile work environment for all who work at the office. Why is it that managers assume employees want to be best friends with their coworkers? Being cordial is one thing… but expecting an employee to go out of their way (and comfort zone) to make nice with coworkers who gossip about them is a bit much for any individual, let alone the shy software developer in this story.

Not only did this employee get 10% docked from his performance review score, but this directly affects his bonus percentage as well. Though he completes work "close to perfection," his manager refuses to reward him completely because he refuses to befriend his officemates. That's a bit insulting. Commenters suggest that this was a way to dock his pay without a solid reason. What do you think? Sound off in the comments after you scroll below to read the whole story.

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  • "Meanwhile, those who brown nose get the highest promotions, even though I I have to often clean up their mess..."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "My manager complained that I'm not friends with my coworkers on my performance review..."

    I'm a software developer for a fintech and I like my job - I'm good at it, it pays well and the benefits are great. But there is one issue - we have to be in the
    via NeStruvash
  • office twice a week and I hate everything about it - the commute, the forced conversations, being so close to so many people when I just want to do my work at peace...
    via NeStruvash
  • And needless to say, I don't have any "work friends". I don't have anything in common with these people, I just want to get my assignment, get my work done and then run home the moment the clock hits 5 PM.
    via NeStruvash
  • Of course, because I don't want to participate in office politics, that leaves me with a target on my back... I've heard coworkers gossip about me that I'm incredibly quiet and "r_de"
    via NeStruvash
  • simply because I don't care to interact with people I don't relate to. I don't need coworker buddies, I just want to finish my tasks and come back home to my gf and cats.
    via NeStruvash
  • Yet now my manager is also complaining about my unwillingness to be a part of office politics... She told me I'm doing an amazing job, all of my assignments were given on time,
    via NeStruvash
  • and I do most things "close to perfection". And then came the "But...". She then said I won't get 100% because I'm too shy and don't interact much with my coworkers. Apparently it's
    via NeStruvash
  • important for there to be good relationships between coworkers and some colleagues have complained that I'm hostile simply because I just do my job and then go home. So that took 10% off, so that means a 10% lower bonus...
    via NeStruvash
  • Cheezburger Image 10475548672
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+
  • I'm not angry about the 10% but why the h I did I get penalised when I've been told I do my work "close to perfection"??? Is that it, simply because I don't put on a facade and pretend I tolerate
    via NeStruvash
  • Meanwhile, those who brown nose get the highest promotions, even though I have to often clean up their mess and wipe their 20 a
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  • LL F office politics. Why can't I just be fully remote, be given a task, a deadline and be left alone???
    via NeStruvash
  • heathersisreal It's probably not about any actual deficit you have. In performance reviews, leadership is encouraged to find something for staff to improve on. Additionally for bonuses, there's limited funds that your manager is splitting between their direct reports. Sounds like they wanted / needed to give you 10% less (and other staff more) and that's all they could come up with to justify it.
    via heathersisreal
  • Companies can decide what values they want to reward and rank on. Make sure you're clear on what success looks like with your manager. Then it's up to you if you want to show up in that way or not.
    via heathersisreal
  • It_ll_be_fine Go to HR. Your manager lowering your evaluation because of some stupid social interactions could be construed as discriminatory. Especially if your on the autism spectrum. She's trying to force you into social situations that are uncomfortable for you.
    via It_ll_be_fine
  • Comfortable-Focus123 I hate office politics also, and it did hold me back a bit, but I learned to be a good actor. Try and consider it part of your job to ask one personal question a day. Yeah, the whole thing is bulls and a game, but you do have to play once in a while. I wish you luck here.
    via Comfortable-Focus123
  • AF rtInAnEmpty Room I feel you, when I try and put on the mask they want and be friendly, they then tell me I sound sarcastic. Well duh, I don't believe it, so it's going to come off as slightly sarcastic, but to me, that's how they come off as well, as if they don't mean it, but apparently it's not a problem when they do it that way and I interpret the way that I do
    via AF*rtInAnEmptyRoom
  • neverd equasiwarrior It sounds like they're trying to push you out, start looking for a better job before they get the satisfaction of firing you.
    via neverd*equasiwarrior

  • This employee states that he loves his job. He simply hates going into the office and describes his coworkers as people he “can't stand”. You can't force yourself to like folks who seemingly do their best to create a bit of a hostile work environment toward a guy who simply wants to do his work and go home. No harm, no foul. Apparently, there's a bit of harm involved when you're expecting a higher cash bonus.

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reviews boss workplace-stories work stories bonus toxic-workplace bosses work coworkers performance review reddit story toxic-boss workplace Horrible Bosses reddit thread Reddit
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