23-year-old sister cuts contact with older brother after her fiancé reveals the extent of his "locker room talk," parents defend his commentary: "He told my boyfriend it's totally fine to cheat on me"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 7, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Growing closer with your partner's family can be a slow process. Some extroverts just immediately click with their in-laws, but shyer individuals or those who live far away might have a harder time feeling like a part of the family. My boyfriend's siblings live all over, and I was never really close with either of them until I joined them on a family vacation. It was awkward at first, and I admit I felt uncomfortable when my boyfriend would leave me alone with them. By the time we all flew to our respective homes, I felt like we had become friends.

In our story today, our protagonist attempts to foster the relationship between her boyfriend and her brother. She leaves the pair to talk at a restaurant in the hopes that they will bond. However, the result is so much worse than if they had simply not gotten along as her boyfriend reveals all the vitriol her brother spews about her openly behind her back. Scroll down for the full story. 

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  • 01

    AITA cutting off my brother after he told my boyfriend 's okay cheat on ?

    "I've put up with his insults and teasing as a 'big brother' for years, but this crossed the line".
    via olia danilevich from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (23F) recently had a falling out with my brother (29M) after finding out something awful he said about me. Apparently, he told my boyfriend (24M)
    via u/robyn5027
  • 03
    that it's totally fine to cheat on me as long as he "comes back and loves me." I was completely shocked and disgusted when I found out.
    via u/robyn5027
  • 04
    My brother and Fiancé stayed out for drinks whilst I took my parents home in a taxi. That night they were both drinking, he also told my fiancé I am lazy because I'm in between jobs atm and I should be
    via u/robyn5027
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10476338432
    via Creatas Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    losing weight in the gym. He's always had this superiority complex and talks down to me like I'm an immature little girl even when he still lives at home - although with his own business and I moved out at 18 to get a degree and have lived and worked 3 hours away since.
    via u/robyn5027
  • 07
    I've put up with his insults and teasing as a 'big brother' for years, but this crossed the line. When I told my parents about what was said that night out of desperation of comfort, it seems that he is denying it and "p ed" that my fiancé told me.
    via u/robyn5027

  • This man has absolutely no respect for his sister; I can't imagine how awful her childhood must have looked like with her parents allowing the type of behavior that turned their son into a disrespectful manchild. 

  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10476338688
    via SHVETS production from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    It seems now that my parents are furious at my fiancé for telling me (which I think was the right thing to do), and want me to forgive and forget it all because I make him feel 'awkward' when I go home to visit.
    via u/robyn5027
  • 10
    I feel completely alone in this as it feels as though somehow all this has turned around on me, and now my fiancé and I are bad guys. So, AITA for refusing to tolerate my brother's behavior and cutting him off?
    via u/robyn5027
  • 11
    EDIT: regarding the comments about my fiancé I encouraged my fiancé to stay out with my brother that night because they haven't spent much time together and I thought it would be good for them
    via u/robyn5027
  • 12
    Vegetable-Cod-2340 This... and the fact that your parents are okay with what he said and angry the fiance told you is a problem.
    via u/Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • 13
    Op, your parents are also an issue, it maybe time to go low contact them. Because let's be honest, they allow your brother to treat you that way.
    via u/Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • 14
    Tall_Confection_960 None of them need to come to your wedding, OP.
    via u/Tall_Confection_960
  • 15
    canuckleheadiam Parents aren't any better. NTA
    via u/canuckleheadiam

  • Her parents are upset that her boyfriend exposed their son's awful behavior. I bet the have an easy enough time ignoring it an brushing it under the rug when it's just at home.

  • 16
    MillerJess Exactly! The fact that they are ore upset at your fiancé for telling the truth that at your brother for saying such awful things says a lot. You are definitely NTA
    via u/MillerJess
  • 17
    rexmaster2 And i would make sure all his gfs going forward knoe his stance on cheating.
    via u/rexmaster2
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10476338944
    via Africa Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Indecisive_C I completely agree. If he's fine if this happens to his sister, sounds like he'd thinks he'd be justified doing it to his own girlfriend. He sounds like he's encouraging it so I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually already cheating on his girlfriend
    via u/Indecisive_C
  • 20
    splashsistersgg Honestly, if your brother was any more toxic, he'd be a walking chemical spill! And let's not even get started on the parents-they must have a PhD in enabling drama!
    via u/splashsistersgg
  • 21
    Unable_Elephant610 NTA. Your brother is a sh, I can't believe he said that about his OWN SISTER. Your parents are unhinged as well if they're mad at your fiance for this.
    via u/Unable_Elephant610
  • 22
    Horror-Ladder9340 Nope, your family are all THAs though, which s for you. I'm happy for you that you found a fiancé who is honest with you.
    via u/Horror-Ladder9340
  • 23
    ctomas1984 NTA. Maybe your parents are reacting this way out of embarrassment they've raised such a monster
    via u/ctomas1984
  • 24
    seeingredd-it They certainly should be, but doubt they are.
    via u/seeingredd-it
  • 25
    merishore25 So your parents aren't upset with your brother for saying those things. NTA. Your brother sounds like he is and that his behavior is overlooked by the family.
    via u/merishore25
  • 26
    Vyckerz He is likely the golden child in the family. For some reason, a lot of parents seem to set one kid apart for that kind of special treatment and the ironic thing is that is often not deserved. In a way it's the parents maybe trying to compensate for the lack of character of the kid and paper over his failures.
    via u/Vyckerz
  • 27
    ForwardPlenty NTA. If someone makes your life better by being out of it, then you have every right to get them out of your life. You need to decide how to handle future family gatherings and get togethers.
    via u/ForwardPlenty
  • 28
    The fact that he lied about his disrespectful comments and was actually mad at your boyfriend for telling you just demonstrates how toxic he is. There is no world in which his comments would be okay, so you don't have to put up with that.
    via u/ForwardPlenty

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family drama marriage toxic brother sibling rivalry siblings wife reddit story parenting husband cheating infidelity sister reddit thread Reddit golden child healthy relationship
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