16-year-old's estranged father moves back to their small town with new wife and five step-kids, teenager refuses to start a relationship with them: 'Go back to wherever [you] moved from'

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 14, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Growing up in a small town often means knowing everyone's business, but if that isn't difficult enough, imagine your estranged father moving back to that tight-knit community. Let's just say that gossip would spread quickly and tensions ran high as soon as this teenager's father reappeared after nearly two decades of zero contact. 

We cannot help but express empathy for this teenager, who naturally wanted to maintain distance despite the efforts of not only his father but also his dad's new stepkids. Keep scrolling below for this full account of the 16-year-old, who thankfully had the self-confidence to stand up to his new "family."

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    Cheezburger Image 10479291136
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Here, we have the son of an absent father, who abandoned his then wife and kid 16 years ago primarily because he was not ready to become a parent. The kid and his mom lived in a small town, and he spent the next decade and a half without his second parent. Despite the awkward encounters he would have with his biological father's family, who still lived in the same area, the teenager let go of the idea that the two would ever be able to have a relationship… that is, until he came back into the picture.

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    I (16m but will be 17 this month) never met my father until a year ago. He bailed on my mom when she was pregnant with me and he left town and avoided child support for years. We live in a
    via FinnisRace
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    small town so I always heard about him and he and my mom had been a couple for like 10 years (14 to 24) and they were engaged and everything but
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    apparently a kid was too much. His family wouldn't help my mom track him down and they acted all kinds of weird around me.
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    I cared but not that much. My normal was just me and mom and nothing to do with my father's family. I love my mom. We're a good team and she gave me the best life she could. We didn't
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    always have the most but she kept a roof over my head and I never had to go without food. She did it all without anything from my father. And she tried
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    many times to get child support. Even got an agency involved to track him down but they said if he was working it wasn't officially.
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    By the time I was 12 I had decided if my father ever changed his mind it would be too late. He didn't get to abandon me like that and come back full of regrets. I never expected it
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    though. Not with how good he was at hiding and how weird his family was around me. They're the kind of people who are nice to mostly everyone but it was like
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    they wanted to tell me to get the f away from them but they couldn't. Being from such a small town meant I couldn't avoid seeing them around either.
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    But then a year ago my mom was contacted by my father reached out to tell mom he was moving back and wanted a relationship with me and would pay back all
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    he owed her. I hated the idea but he showed up with a wife and like five stepkids. He acted like I was going to run out and throw myself at him or something and call him dad and stuff.
    via FinnisRace
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    Cheezburger Image 10479292160
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Suddenly, and without warning, this guy's dad wanted to pay his ex-wife and kid back for all of his absent years and lack of support. It gets worse, though. Now, the teenager had to live in the same small town as his dad and his dad's larger new family (his wife and five kids). The stepkids turned out to be a real nuisance for the teenager, interrupting him at his place of work and in the library when he was attempting to study for school. They wanted a relationship too, despite repeated attempts on the part of the teenager to decline their requests politely. It was only a matter of time before this kid was going to snap…

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    Whenever I have talk to him I use his first name. I have shut down all attempts to have a relationship with me. He took mom to court and a judge wouldn't order parenting time but we are forced
    via FinnisRace
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    to attend reunification therapy together once a week until I turn 18. He doesn't let it stop him from trying to see me and trying to make spend time with him. He
    via FinnisRace
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    has apologized and talked about all the regrets he has and how stepping up for his wife's kids made him realize he f ed up and he wants a chance and all that kind of bulls
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    But it's not just him. His wife has tried sometimes. She's a lot easier to avoid because her car stands out and I just go another way if I see it. But her kids? Two
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    are close to my age and they are relentless. They approach me in school, in the library, at the diner where I work and even when I'm hanging out with friends. They
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    told me how good of a dad my father was to them and how he really wants me in his life and how they think it'd be cool to have another brother. I told them I wasn't interested. I ignored
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    them. I told them hearing all that sh about the guy who abandoned me wasn't making me more open to seeing him and it hurt. But they're team estranged father all the way and I guess he talks to his family about the therapy sessions because
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    they bring up stuff from there when they try to get me to idk bond with them or agree to be their brother or whatever.
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    Last Friday is when I might have gone too far. Maybe. I was working after school and they showed up with their three younger siblings and tried to talk about my father. My boss had to
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    ask them to leave and warned them they wouldn't be allowed back in if they kept interrupting stuff. They waited for me and followed me to the library and sat at the table I was studying at. I
    via FinnisRace
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    had to leave after only 15 minutes because I couldn't concentrate. When we got outside I lost my temper and I told them to off and leave me alone. I didn't want to be their brother. I didn't want a relationship with their dad. I
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    wanted them all to get the f away and go back to wherever they moved from and pretend they don't know me because I don't want to know any of them.
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    Then I said my father could drop de d for all I care when the oldest (I think) told me how much it meant to my father. Then I said I'd rather be homeless on the streets than a part of their family. The younger kids were upset and the older two were both shocked and angry. I didn't
    via FinnisRace
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    stick around or apologize or try to say anything calmer. I just left. But people heard me and it was the talk of the town all weekend and my father blamed my mom. It came up in our therapy appointment yesterday and he's mad but still won't leave.
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    He said it wasn't right what I did but he won't give up. He told me I owed his stepkids an apology and I'm not doing that. I ignored the stuff he said about why I needed to.
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    But I know this is going to stay an issue and maybe I wasn't fair especially when there were younger kids right there. AITA?
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    Ot... . . 4h ago Edited 4h ago NTA. That's harassment. I would report to the judge and even police if I were you mother. That's not healthy for everyone.
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    How the f they explain the last missing 15 years if he is such a "great father"?
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    . amara-glowW • 5h ago Absolutely NTA. You've been more patient than most people would be. Your dad and his new family are acting like you're a side quest they just unlocked,
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    but you never signed up to play. The fact that his stepkids are borderline stalking you is weird, and the therapy sessions should be about what you need, not
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    forcing a relationship you never asked for. You don't owe them an apology for setting boundaries, especially after they ignored
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    every polite way you tried to shut it down. If anything, they owe you one for not respecting your space.
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family drama marriage teenagers family feud entitled people karma divorce family step brother entitled people Father
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