Woman refuses to lend power tools to neighbor after he assumes it belongs to her boyfriend and ignores her: "I'm a woman, what would I know?"

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  • 01

    AITAH not letting neighbor borrow my tile saw because he assumed belonged my boyfriend

    I hate when men assume my boyfriend does 'man stuff' and I'm supposed to do 'woman stuff'
  • 02
    My boyfriend and I have a bit of an untraditional relationship. I (female) am the builder/fixer/etc, and my boyfriend isn't really good at that type of stuff. My garage is filled with tools that I have collected over the years. A lot of expensive tools.
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  • 04
    A young couple just bought the house across the street from us. The houses aren't too far apart, and I guess our new neighbors have seen into our garage when my boyfriend and I hangout in there.
  • 05
    The husband came over to introduce himself, and he briefly nodded at me, yet he shook my boyfriend's hand and was friendly to him while introducing himself. It made me feel very dismissed tbh, like I'm not his equal.
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  • 07
    He mentioned that they're having to retile the kitchen and do a bunch of other repairs, as the house was a bit of a fixer upper (the elderly lady had lived there for 55 years before dying recently).
  • 08
    He said that they were a bit broke after buying the house, and he is having to do the repairs himself and learn how to do a lot of this stuff. My boyfriend kind of just smiled and nodded his head, because he hates DIY.
  • 09
    He finally asked my boyfriend if he could borrow his tile saw and maybe a few other tools, and maybe my boyfriend could give him some YouTube suggestions. He offered to give it back like he borrowed it, and said he'd buy him a case of beer for the trouble.
  • 10
    This was the point where my boyfriend mentioned that all the tools in the garage belong to me, and that he has no clue how to build or fix anything. The guy was surprised, but gave me a half smile and said 'oh, I guess I should've asked you then. What do you say? Offer still stands.'
  • 11
    I was kind of annoyed, and I told him that maybe another man in the neighborhood can help him, and I'm just a woman so what do I know.
  • 12
    I was admittedly very snarky. My boyfriend kind of thinks I was needlessly an a h le to our new neighbor. I think the guy should've apologized for his incorrect assumption before asking me to borrow my tools. I hate when men assume my boyfriend does 'man stuff' and I'm supposed to do 'woman stuff' it happens occasionally.
  • 13
    Which by the way, who asks someone they don't even know to borrow a tile saw?? Tile saws aren't cheap, especially not the one I own. AITAH? My boyfriend and I aren't really stressing over it, but I just wanted an unbiased outside opinion.
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  • 15
    cthulularoo I wouldn't lend a total stranger my expensive tools no matter the first impression, which was bad. NTA. "I don't lend out my tools "
  • 16
    Beth21286 The guy admits he doesn't know how to use them but still doesn't ask OP for any tips after finding out they're her tools? He really doesn't know how to treat someone he's asking for a favour.
  • 17
    Troublemaker_Cake You're right! If he doesn't know how to use the tools, he should've asked you for tips, especially after learning they're yours. It was a bit rode to just assume he could borrow them without acknowledging your expertise. A little more respect would've gone a long way.
  • 18
    Draigdwi I lent my tools to a very nice colleague. Turns out it was her boyfriend who used them (in her place). She didn't return them for long time, enough that I had to demand them back immediately. She brought them back all messed up. Not exactly broken but I had to sort them all. Not lending my tools any more.
  • 19
    Realistic Temporary70 NTA I doubt he'll return anything in as borrowed condition. Similar things have happened to me...
  • 20
    I was buying a house and my then-bf was with me at the bank about the mortgage. He was not buying with me. He was actually between jobs at the time. But the lady at the bank (yeah, a woman did it), kept addressing her answers to MY questions to him.
  • 21
    I even made a point to say he was basically there for the ride because we had plans after this meeting, and he wasn't involved at all. Didn't help.
  • 22
    Another time I bought tires for my car online, because I didn't want to be taken for at the store. The day they're supposed to come in, a guy from the store calls me, asks if I want him to talk to my husband. No, my tires for my car.
  • 23
    He proceeds to tell me they can't get those tires, but he's got a better deal for me... are you standing? You need to sit for this offer! Are you sitting? This deal is so good, you'd better lie down ... you lying down?
  • 24
    Told him I'd be calling his manager. The tires were cheaper, but less quality than I wanted. If I wanted cheap, I would have chosen cheap. If I wanted to be harassed, I know where to go in town.
  • 25
    True Dot5878 NTA. It's not even just that he assumed you weren't the one with the tools, it's how he barely acknowledged your presence instead of just talking to you both. It would be a lot more forgivable if he just talked to you both and could have chalked it up to a simple assumption men make.
  • 26
    You don't OWE anyone the privilege of borrowing expensive tools, but especially someone you just met. Borrowing smaller tools to start off with would have been easier. To immediately ask for expensive saws 30 seconds into meeting someone is wild IMO.
  • 27
    RevolutionaryDiet686 NTA If he needs to watch videos to DIY he is not ready to use your tile saw.
  • 28
    Ok Stable7501 My husband and I had been in our house for about six years before we got to the point in our relationship with the neighbors where they would lend us tile saws. NTA
  • 29
    R2face NTA he got three strikes in rapid succession 1. ignored you while introducing himself, and being generally dismissive of you 2. assumed the tools were your boyfriends 3. didn't bother apologizing for his faux pas
  • 30
    I wouldn't lend a neighbor I already liked my expensive tools, let alone a new guy who already made a bad impression. Your neighbor was needlessly an a h le to you. You matched energy.

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