Freeloading father-in-law demands $2000 while being unemployed for decades pushing son-in-law to refuse and confront lifelong entitlement

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 17, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Every family tree has that one branch that seems allergic to productivity, treating hard work and responsibility as amusing suggestions rather than life requirements. These relatives turn freeloading into their own professional career path—no experience required, just a profound talent for guilt trips and creative storytelling. Welcome to the wonderful realm of family dynamics, where your paycheck is somehow their emergency bailout fund.

You see, for these seasoned family moochers, debt isn't a consequence of bad decisions; it's simply a minor inconvenience you should generously address while asking no pesky questions about how it got there. Requesting basic clarity about their financial choices is apparently akin to demanding they control planetary movements. Suggest they actually get a job or some form of steady income, and you might as well be proposing they rewrite the laws of gravity.

Remember, your money isn't obligated to subsidize relatives who treat employment like an urban legend. Sometimes the best kindness is letting them experience reality checks—ones that don't bounce.

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  • When relatives start viewing your hard-earned savings as their personal charity fund without expiration or accountability, you've officially crossed into the absurd zone of familial entitlement. Supporting family is admirable, but financing lifelong inactivity and funding someone else's refusal to adult isn't generosity—it's financial masochism

  • "AITA for not giving NEET father-in-law money?"

    "My father-in-law moved in with his mother and did nothing to improve"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My 66 year old father-in-law had three children, each within a year and a half from the next. One girl (my wife), two younger boys. He was ab ive and misogynistic during his marriage and when my wife was around 6 he lost his job (under unknown
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  • circumstances) and left his wife and kids. He moved in with his mother (his father was deceased decades prior) and lived with her, being cared and fed by her and her pension. He never paid alimony and didn't provide any support whatsoever. He would
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  • see his children only occasionally when they visited their grandma. She (grandma) took out of pity and because she thought he was mentally ill (we all came to a conclusion he is).
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  • My wife's grandma passed away around 14 years ago, and my father-in-law did nothing to improve. His older brother took care of the funeral but lives in a other state and has no interest in helping him (he is a horrible person, although he actually
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • works, and he wants his brother to di so he gets the house). My father in law just lived off her savings.
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  • My wife had a tricky relationship with him. He is unstable and seems to have some sort of intelectual disability, albeit not aggressive (he's thin and very weak). My wife doesn't bother visiting him for the past 5 years
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  • since he said I was a bad male model for my son and that he needed to be raised by "a real man", whatever that means.
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  • Last week he called and asked to see her in person. She asked what it was about, he refused to elaborate. She called her brothers and they said his money was gone and they have been secretly helping for a while
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  • but can't anymore (both brothers are also deadbeats and have only menial, temp jobs every once in a while).
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  • My wife went there and he said he was now in debt and needed the equivalent of US$2000.00. He said he wanted a response by email (he is a coward and is afraid to talk to me).
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When she told me that I wrote an email that basically said I'd give the money of he did three things:
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  • 1- Showed me his bank balance and everything he owes, credit card balances, everything. I want to know how deep the problem is.
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  • 2- He tells me all of his income sources for the past decade.
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  • 3- He comes up with a plan to get a new source of income, either disability checks (which he IS entitled but he refuses to) or a job (he also said many times he refuses to ever work again, never elaborates on why).
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  • He ignored my email and called my wife asking her to convince me to give him the money. She asked if he would do what I asked, he was r de and said he wouldn't.
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  • My mother-in-law talked with my wife, said she pitties him and thinks he's mentally ill and mentally challenged and that I should be convinced to pay a monthly allowance to him.
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  • I have zero debts but currently what I earn is what I spend, and we have no luxuries. I have some savings but that's for our future and my son's college.
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  • Now what?
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  • EmploymentOk1421 Please don't give away money to someone who won't value and appreciate your gift when it could better be used as your own family's savings/ retirement or contribute
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  • Further, your FiL will now perceive that his daughter is a soft touch for his future expenses since his sons are tapped out.
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  • Classic_Ad3987 Now you wait. Either FIL gives. you the information you requested or he doesn't. Anyone that tells you that you should blindly give him cash
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  • should be told that THEY can give him money. Period. There is no reason to answer the phone from him. Until he emails you the requested information, completely ignore him.
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  • Neither you nor your wife owe him anything, you all are not responsible for him and it is not your fault he is in the situation he put himself. If anything happens to him,
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  • teresajs ΝΤΑ It would be unwise to give a large sum of money to someone who has a history of poor money management. If you give him money, there's a good chance it would be misspent and would only temporarily alleviate FIL's problems.
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  • If you choose to help, prepay his rent, pay his electric bill, or buy him groceries. Don't give money.
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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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