‘Every time we go out, she finds a way to make it miserable’: Exhausting “emotional vampire” friend complains about being left out, pushing woman to snap and expose the truth about her behavior

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 18, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

There's something I never really understood about friend groups. The whole idea of friends is that you choose them, right? You meet people throughout life and connect over things. Actual stuff that brings you together, that makes you want to be friends, right? Yet somehow, in every friend group, there seems to be one person no one finds bearable. So, how does that happen? Is it a mind game? A Men in Black-type contraption that implanted the notion this person belongs in the group? And if everyone knows no one wants them there, why is no one doing anything about it? Is that it? Am I going to be friends with this person for life now? I don't even remember meeting them…

This universal phenomenon is baffling. Like, somewhere along the way, the group silently decides to tolerate them while everyone individually wonders if they're the only one having a terrible time. It's a social stalemate. No one wants to be the bad guy, so everyone suffers silently while the one unbearable person keeps disrupting every outing. Friendship is supposed to be relaxing, not an endurance test.

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  • Eventually, like the woman at the center of today's story–someone snaps. And to be frank, it’s usually not graceful. The truth comes out, the unbearable person acts shocked because self-awareness takes a hard pass on them

    Is the fallout messy? Yes. Could it have been avoided if we all stopped pretending the human walking warning label wasn’t a problem? Also yes.

  • "AITA for Telling My Friend She’s the Reason No One Invites Her Out?"

    "She's on social media posting sad, cryptic quotes about fake friends and how people change"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My friend Lisa is always complaining that no one ever invites her anywhere. She'll rant in the group chat about how she's being left out, but honestly? There's a reason for that. Lisa is exhausting to be around.
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  • Every time we go out, she finds a way to make it miserable. If we eat at a restaurant, she sends her food back at least once and spends the meal
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  • picking apart everyone else's orders. If we go to a movie, she whispers complaints the entire time about how bad it is. She argues over the smallest things, turns every
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  • Who? Me? How?

    Cheezburger Image 10481326848
    via Dean Drobot

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • conversation back to herself, and makes everything about her. Hanging out with Lisa isn't fun it's work.
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  • Last weekend, she went on another rant in the group chat about being excluded again. I finally had enough and told her straight up, No one invites you
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  • because you make everything miserable. Maybe I could have worded it better, but I wasn't going to sugarcoat it.
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  • Now, she's on social media posting sad, cryptic quotes about fake friends and how people change. A few friends
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  • think I was too harsh, but at what point was I supposed to say something? How long were we supposed to keep pretending she wasn't the problem?
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  • I get that no one likes hearing the hard truth, but maybe just maybe if she actually listened instead of playing the victim, she'd start getting invited
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  • again. Or maybe she'll just keep posting sad-girl quotes while we keep enjoying our drama-free hangouts.
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  • Someone had to

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    via Dean Drobot

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • So, AITA? Or did I just say what everyone else was thinking?
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  • Forward-Wear7913 NTA There's one woman I know who is an emotional vampire. She sks all the joy out of any event. She
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  • used to go to an event I attended, and she hasn't been the last few years. It's been a blessing.
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  • I think you will find that not having contact with her is a good thing in the long run.
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  • Over-Share7202 NTA, but I feel this should've been confronted a long time ago. The moment she started complaining
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  • about being left out constantly was when someone should've explained why they don't bring her. Inviting
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  • her along when no one actually wants her there honestly feels pretty cruel, even if it's because of her own actions. She deserves to know
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  • straight out if she's not wanted, saves you the pain of dealing with that bs and doesn't leave her not knowing why her friends don't like her
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  • anymore. She sounds like a nightmare to be around, but it also seems like she doesn't understand why, and
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  • that's important to communicate imo so she can actually work on herself (assuming she'd actually bother)
    via Over-Share7202
  • JS6790 NTA She's a drama queen I've known people like that, and I cut them out. It makes things a lot easier.
    via JS6790

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boyfriend friendship bad friend entitlement best friends friends girlfriend friend mean girls entitled people karma Party entitled people
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