19-year-old accused of being cheap by friend group after refusing to pay for friend's expensive meal: 'We usually order similar-priced meals, not something 4x more expensive'

Friend group dynamics are almost always affected in some way when money is at play. 

Now, it's only natural for two friends to alternate who pays if they grab dinner frequently, but this can get complicated if the orders are, well, imbalanced. Of course, there are some people who take this equitable concept too far. For example, if one person technically ordered a $15 drink while the other person ordered a $12 one, then it's probably not worth it to make a big deal out of this difference when the bill comes. However, in this instance, the difference was so big that it would have been egregious not to bring it up.

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    "[I refused] to pay for my friend's meal"
    via Lousi Hansel

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • Here, we have a 19-year-old who frequently got dinner with her 20-year-old friend every couple of weeks. They were used to alternating who pays the bill each time, but things started to get a little tense when the 19-year-old couldn't help but notice that her friend was always ordering items that were significantly more expensive. We're not just talking about a couple of bucks here. We're talking about multiple cocktails when the 19-year-old only ordered one as well as meals that were way pricier. Finally, the bill came, and while it was technically the 19-year-old's turn to pay, she decided that she was only going to cover a fair amount. Let's just say that the whole friend group dynamic shifted after this meal.

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    "AITA for refusing to pay for my friend’s meal after she ordered something way more expensive than me?"

    i (19f) have a friend (20f) and we usually take turns treating each other when we go out. last time, she paid for both of us, so this time, it was my turn.
    via pixelfoxz
  • 03
    we went to a restaurant, and i ordered a simple pasta dish for about $15. my friend, however, went all out—she got a steak, appetizers, a fancy cocktail, and dessert, racking up a bill of over $60 just for herself. when the check came, she just smiled and said, "your turn!"
    via pixelfoxz
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    i was caught off guard because while we do take turns, we usually order similar-priced meals, not something 4x more expensive. i told her i'd cover what i normally would, but she
    via pixelfoxz
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  • 05
    needed to pay for the extra. she got upset, saying i was going. back on our deal and that i should just pay for everything since she covered me last time.
    via pixelfoxz
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    she ended up paying, but now she's been acting cold and telling mutual friends that i "cheated our system" and that i was being petty over a meal. some think i
    via pixelfoxz
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    should have just covered it to avoid drama, but i don't think it was fair for her to take advantage of the agreement like that. aita for refusing to pay for her whole meal?
    via pixelfoxz
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  • 08
    Grit
    via Jessie McCall

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Several folks chimed in with their reactions, claiming that the 19-year-old was right and this should be a learning lesson for her friend moving forward. Of course, it doesn't seem to be interpreted that way, and our guess is that other members of the friend group are receiving highly biased information.

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    YouSayWotNow • 3h ago You didn't cheat your system, SHE did by being a greedy greedy eow individual and trying to take you for $60 instead of the usual amounts you pay in turns.
    via pixelfoxz
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    Frankly, no one needs friends like this in the first place so I'd strongly recommend you rethink that friendship. She sounds like a user.
    via pixelfoxz
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    BulbasaurRanch • 3h ago . This is not a friend you need in your life. A reasonable person wouldn't do this. She doesn't respect you. NTA
    via pixelfoxz
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    Sebscreen 3h ago . NTA. Her saying "your turn" when the bill came proves she knew it was vague on who would be paying when she ordered the expensive dishes and deliberately did not inform you she intended for you to pay.
    via pixelfoxz
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    Expose exactly what she did to all the friends she's badmouthing you to.
    via pixelfoxz
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  • 14
    Immediate_Finger... . 3h ago The system was working fine. She's the one that tried to cheat it. Stop being friends with this chick. She morally bankrupt.
    via pixelfoxz
  • 15
    elguapo1996 • 3h ago If you knew it was your turn to pay, why didn't you say anything when your friend was ordering? Maybe "Looks like you're going all out
    via pixelfoxz
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    tonight! That's fine if that's what you want, but let's do separate checks tonight and then it's my turn to pay next time."
    via pixelfoxz
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  • 17
    Accomplished-Fo... . 2h ago If I were you, assuming I could afford it, I would t have said anything. Then, next time, I'd have run up a tab of like a hundred bucks and insisted it was her turn.
    via pixelfoxz
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    Turnabout is fair play and all that. Also, I might be an ahle and a petty one at that
    via pixelfoxz
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    andakaran 3h ago • Your friend definitely pulled the AH move. She's acting cold now because she knows that you'll do the same with her next time you go out if she continues the arrangement. Your so called. pettiness is her excuse to terminate the "system" now that she has milked it dry.
    via pixelfoxz
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  • 20
    RandomSupDevGuy • 3h ago NTA - She tried to take advantage of the situation. but you might have been better off doing the exact same thing to her next time,
    via pixelfoxz
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    then if she says something say you covered last time, if she kicks off you know she was trying to screw you. Now you have made it a point that you didn't stick to the deal even though you had EVERY right to call her out on it.
    via pixelfoxz
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    Take this as a lessen (edit typo fix) though, never do the take turns because someone will either purposely or accidentally
    via pixelfoxz
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  • 23
    take advantage or feel hard done by. Trust me this was the case with my brother, though he was fine with it I still felt bad, drinking in rounds where my drink was 15% more. You can't ever be
    via pixelfoxz
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    even because it might just be an extra dollar here and a dollar there and someone will be up or down and that might always be one of you.
    via pixelfoxz

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friendship best friends friends restaurant entitled people karma dinner expensive friend group cheap money entitled people
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