Aunt throws away her 6-year-old nieces shoes, despite her mom wanting to give them to her 2-year-old niece, after grandma gave aunt the go-ahead: 'This has happened multiple times with other things'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 21, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

I really dislike things going to waste. If I receive a gift that I don't particularly enjoy, I can't wait to regift it to someone who will like it or donate it to a thrift store because the thought of it rotting in my room for years without being used drives me crazy. Even when something has outgrown its purpose in my life, that doesn't mean it should just be thrown to the wayside. Unless something is completely destroyed or empty, there's no reason to throw things away with abandon. Gross tennis shoes that stink up the office can be repurposed as beach shoes in the coming months. A knitted hat shrunk in the wash can be given to your friend with a tiny head. Even an empty plastic chapstick container can be recycled and repurposed to make another chapstick container that will hold balm for years to come.

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  • The aunt in this story has no concept of holding onto things that might have value to someone, even if they don't have value to you right now. She donated her great-niece's shoes, despite her niece asking her not to, because her sister gave her the go-ahead. 

  • 01
    Twinkle s
    via serjan midili

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA after telling my Aunt they can't respect my decisions then my kid can't come over anymore?

    I(33F) have an Aunt(53F) who sometimes picks up daughter (6F) for over nights at her place. My daughter recently returned from one of those trips. During so I got a phone call about my daughter's toes being red and maybe the shoes being too small. My aunt
    via u/Somebodyoutthere91
  • 03
    was wanting to throw them out but I was going to pass them on to my younger niece(2F) as my kid hasn't worn those shoes much. My aunt's boyfriend said he was worried I would put them back in her, which I said I wouldn't if they were small but wanted them back to pass down to my niece. Turns out she
    via u/Somebodyoutthere91
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10483273984
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    decided to go to my mom (53F) for permission to pitch the shoes. My mom gave the blessing since she didn't know why I wanted them back. When my daughter was dropped off, my aunt dropped he and her stuff off quickly then bolted which was weird for her. As I was emptying
    via u/Somebodyoutthere91
  • 06
    my daughter's luggage I noticed said shoes were not in there. Daughter sad that they told her they were keeping the shoes for safe keeping but I found out the truth shortly after. I tried calling my Aunt but she is not answering.
    via u/Somebodyoutthere91
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10483274496
    via A. C.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    It's not just about the shoes but this has happened multiple times with other things because my mom said it was ok and her being my mom negates my decisions for MY daughter. AITA for saying if my decision can't be respected and if MY daughter can't return with everything she brought them she can't come over anymore?
    via u/Somebodyoutthere91
  • 09
    Silaquix NTA but your mom is also a problem. Why on earth would she give her opinion or permission when asked about something concerning your daughter? I think you need to make it clear to both of them that you are the only authority when it comes to your daughter so if they don't have your permission then it shouldn't happen. Drive it home that if your aunt goes to your mom to ask something, then your mom's only answer should be "that's up to OP".
    via u/Silaquix
  • 10
    abyssgazesback NTA. Honestly, I have a feeling the aunt just didn't tell the mom that they had already discussed it with OP, and the mom probably didn't think it was a big deal. This is just pure speculation though.
    via u/abyssgazesback
  • 11
    marvel_nut Not the point. All Mom should say is "not my business - please sort this out with OP."
    via u/marvel_nut
  • 12
    2kids3kats Perhaps, but OP indicated that her mother does this regularly. Mom needs boundaries as much as Auntie.
    via u/2kids3kats
  • 13
    Gloomy_Ruminant I'd be curious how the aunt is describing it to the mom. It might be that the mom is getting involved where she shouldn't. But I could also see the aunt saying "I'm going to do OP a favor and get daughter new shoes!" and the mom saying "oh that's nice".
    via u/Gloomy_Ruminant
  • 14
    Appropriate-Net-4295 Agree! Your mom backing up your aunt just makes it easier for her to keep ignoring your decisions. It's not even just about the shoes, it's about respect. You're doing the right thing by setting a clear boundary. If they can't follow your rules, then visits shouldn't happen. Hopefully, this gets them to finally listen.
    via u/Appropriate-Net-4295
  • 15
    Crystal RedCynthia Yeah, it's very simple: daughter spends night at aunt's. Stuff goed missing. OP does no longer trust her aunt to have her daughter over anymore. Which is completely valid.
    via u/CrystalRedCynthia
  • 16
    mary-marzano Yes OP you should definitely have a serious talk with both your mom and your aunt about how you feel. You have to set clear boundaries as the above commenter said, it's not about shoes, it's about respect.
    via u/mary-marzano
  • 17
    Any_Art_1364 NTA, your aunt should have returned the shoes and never consulted your mother, and your mother should have directed your aunt back to you or asked you what about the shoes. You say this has happened before, time to set firm boundaries. Don't let your daughter stay overnight and tell her you want a replacement pair of shoes or it's theft. You can give these to your niece,
    via u/Any_Art_1364
  • 18
    and get an apology from aunt and the boyfriend, a genuine apology where they take accountability for what they did wrong. Tell aunt until this happens there will be no contact from you or your daughter. If anyone tries to interfere tell them to bat out
    via u/Any_Art_1364
  • 19
    shelwood46 I say make OP's mother pay for the replacement shoes, she's the one who had the ultimate authority, in her mind, and needs to be dispelled of that.
    via u/shelwood46
  • 20
    pedro-on-bass Yeah, and it was very sneaky of her dropping off and bolting the way she did.
    via u/pedro-on-bass
  • 21
    lavender_poppy Just proves that aunt knew it was wrong but did it anyway. That would me off more.
    via u/lavender_poppy
  • 22
    ShirleyUGuessed My aunt's boyfriend said he was worried I would put them back in her I'd be more worried about that comment than the shoes. That's what they think of you? That's not good. And then they go to your mom to overrule you. That's a big heaping pile of disrespect. Plus you don't even have the chance to see if there really was a problem with the shoes. NTA
    via u/ShirleyUGuessed
  • 23
    zenFieryrooster Right? Why does aunt and boyfriend think they're better parents than OP? It's a super disrespectful remark that questions OP's parenting ability. OP, what else have they done that you've alluded to in the post?
    via u/zenFieryrooster
  • 24
    Meadow_Edge Maybe because they were the ones eho noticed the child's shoes were too small and her own mother hadn't.
    via u/Meadow_Edge
  • 25
    lavender_poppy Kids can grow out of things super fast and OP also said her daughter doesn't wear them often so maybe the last time she wore them they fit. This doesn't make OP a neglectful parent.
    via u/lavender_poppy
  • 26
    Alarming_Pop9759 I can't quite bring myself to say you're NTA, because why do you continue to send your daughter for overnights at you're aunt's if your instructions have not been followed multiple times? This is a simple fix - she can't come over because you have overridden my instructions x# of times, and give specifics. If you don't get a handle on this your daughter will be coming home with pierced ears, or haircuts, or clothing in a style you do not allow...
    via u/Alarming_Pop9759
  • 27
    CeeUNTY Are these brand name items or stuff that she could make money on by selling? Does she know someone else with a kid your age? I mean she's stealing your stuff for a reason right? I mean it's obvious that this has nothing to do with the shoes being too tight, so why is she robbing you of these shoes and the other stuff that's gone missing?
    via u/CeeUNTY
  • 28
    theluckiest22 THIS. Why did I have to scroll so far to see this answer?? I was wondering the exact same thing. They have to be some expensive brand. There is absolutely no reason you wouldn't just send the shoes back with the girl. And why tf does the boyfriend even care?! Unless he's the one making money off the stuff. Freaking weird. I'd love to know what other things were "too small/dirty/whatever".
    via u/theluckiest22

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boyfriend family drama shoes child trash kids mother grandma niece reddit story aunt little kids family reddit thread Reddit mom children
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