Mom brings 7-month-old baby to 27-year-old's birthday party, gets offended when she asks her to leave: 'The crying continued for almost an hour'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

An unwelcome shock for many people when they first become parents is how unfriendly the world can be to those who have kids, especially when they are moms. It's pretty ironic, considering the pressure that is put on many to start a family, but having children in a society that prioritizes productivity and selfishness above all else does not make for an easy ride with parenthood.

Nonetheless, it is also imperative that when you become a parent you realize that there are certain times when other people have legitimate reasons for not wanting to be around your kids. It's not a crime for somebody to plan a social event that is adults-only, even if some of their friends have children. While finding childcare can be tricky, some time apart can also be beneficial for parents. Not everybody is going to have the same tolerance for your children that you do, and sometimes that is not unreasonable. 

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  • This was an issue that one woman found herself dealing with at her birthday party after a friend of hers brought along her 7-month-old baby. The party was organized around having solely adult guests and the woman wasn't told that her friend was going to bring her baby. 

    The child kept crying, and this eventually led the host to request that the mom calm her baby down in another room before rejoining the celebration. She took offense, left shortly after, and stopped talking to her friend. The birthday girl wondered if she had taken things too far.

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    Cheezburger Image 10485290240
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

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    AITA for asking my friend to leave my birthday party because she brought her crying baby?

    I (27F) recently threw a birthday party at my apartment. It was a pretty low-key gathering with about 10 friends, lots of snacks, a couple of drinks, and just a fun night hanging out. Everything was going fine until my friend, Sarah (28F), showed up with her 7-month-old baby.
    via Quiet_Mulberry5400
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    Now, I love Sarah, and I know she's a mom, but I wasn't expecting her to bring the baby to a party, especially since we had planned to play games, drink, and chat. The baby started crying almost immediately when they walked in, and Sarah tried to calm her down, but she was clearly struggling. At first, I thought it was just a momentary thing, but the crying continued for almost an hour**...**super loud and non-stop. It was hard to hear anything over the noise, and some of the other guests were g
    via Quiet_Mulberry5400
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    in the other room until the baby calmed down. I explained that it was just hard to enjoy the party with the crying. She was clearly upset and told me that I "should be more understanding" since she can't just leave the baby at home, and she was doing her best to keep her calm. She ended up leaving shortly after, and now she's not speaking to me. I feel bad because I know being a mom is hard, but I also feel like it was my birthday, and I wanted to have a good time without the crying baby. Some p
    via Quiet_Mulberry5400
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    People didn't think the host had done anything wrong, but some wondered about the mom's support system.

    Sharontoo NTA. Her child is not your responsibility. And her inability to find child care so she can attend an adult function is not your problem to solve. Her giving you the silent treatment is called "emotional blackmail". When it starts it never ends. Hold firm and don't give in. She's the one who decided to bring the baby. She's the one who decided to leave. She's the one who is trying to punish you by using the silent treatment. She can be the one to reconnect and apologize. Anything short
    via Sharontoo
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    Quiet Mulberry5400 OP Thanks for the reply! You make a lot of good points. I agree that it's not my responsibility to solve her childcare issue, and I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to enjoy my birthday without dealing with the disruption. It definitely feels like emotional blackmail with the silent treatment, and I'm not about to let that continue. I'll hold firm and wait for her to come around and apologize if she feels the need to. I appreciate you helping me feel more confident in my deci
    via Quiet_Mulberry5400
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    mrsgrabs You're 100% NTA. I'm a mom and I can't imagine bringing my baby to a party and then letting them cry for that long. It's incredibly ride and entitled. Do you really value her friendship? If so, is this pretty typical of her character or is she normally very considerate? I'm only asking because if this is someone you really love and this isn't normal for her you may consider making an exception. Difficult babies are truly terrible and she may be struggling. Which doesn't make this okay,
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    Expert_Slip7543 Yeah, I was thinking the friend is r de & entitled or utterly desperate. If this is an old friend worth keeping aside from recent behavior, please reach out and spend some time with her. Make sure she's okay, not spiraling.
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    mydudeponch Desperate for sure. Her behavior suggests she was very desperate to get out.
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    pjjmd Difficult babies are truly terrible and she may be struggling. Which doesn't make this okay, but may change how you respond. This is the important part. A first time mom with a 7 month old baby who won't stop crying is, at best: A) Flooded with more hormones than a teenager B) Not getting a lot of sleep And that's probably putting it mildly. OP might not be 'wrong', but with friends, often times it's not so much about who is right or wrong, but more about being understanding and supportive
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    Neutral_Guy_9 NTA I'm a parent and I wouldn't bring a baby to a party. Sometimes being a parent it's what you signed up for. ks and you have to miss out on things but
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    Quiet Mulberry5400 OP That is true, like the other commenter said, i should of said Adults Only, But felt kinda bad. But yeah thank you for your input!
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    Suzdg In hindsight yes, but who could have guessed she would bring a baby and not step out if it cried? NTA.
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    Regular_Boot_3540 NTA. Sarah should have had the consideration to remove the baby from the room herself before having to be asked.
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    nola_t And, if a baby is actually crying for a full hour, that is a pretty clear sign that the baby is very unhappy to be there as well. My guess is that she brought this baby out past its bed time and the poor thing was trying to communicate that it was not ok with the change in routine. If my kid was fussing for more than a few minutes, I would have stepped out and if they didn't calm down outside, I'd have taken them home. (Not that I would have brought a kid to an adult event without clarify
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    CarrotofInsanity You asked her to step outside The baby cried nonstop for an hour. You did what any gracious host would've done. Thank your lucky #stars you. she's mad at you and not talking to Just keep doing what you're doing and DO NOT APOLOGIZE. She should've apologized to you for her crying baby and the damper it put on the party. If she does contact you, remind her that NO ONE enjoyed hearing her baby cry for an hour, and that you only asked her to step outside until she could calm her bab
    via CarrotofInsanity
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    R4hscal NTA. The very least she could have done is clear it with you first. I absolutely understand the need for a new mother to try and reconnect or maintain connections with friends, but that can't come at the cost of other people's enjoyment. "Hey, I'm struggling a lot and really need this but unfortunately I don't have anyone who can watch <bebe>. Would it be okay if I come by for just an hour? Could I use your <room> if I need to? I'll head out as soon as it becomes too much."
    via R4hscal
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    meganfergiejesus Came here to say this! Think it's important to try to have some compassion for Sarah, in case she needed the connection. But she should have asked first. OP maybe you don't need to apologize, but you could consider just checking on her to make sure she is ok!
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    Sweeper 1985 ΝΤΑ I'm a mother, and I know how hard it can be to try and get out with the baby. That said, if the baby is seriously going off and will not settle, the only option is to leave. She shouldn't have waited for so long before doing that. Still... if you care about this friendship, I'd reach out to her. She's probably struggling right now.
    via Sweeper1985
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    iwishyouwereabeer NTA. It's an adult party. With drinks. I'm a parent. I've brought my baby to an adult birthday party before. Only because the birthday person told me to. I walked away each time my child cried. We sat outside until baby calmed down. When my kid got to the point that there was no calming I told the birthday person I was leaving as to not disturb the other guests. She insisted I stay. I left. It's common courtesy to not disturb an adult party with a baby. Her getting upset at you
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    SophisticatedScreams I think this is fair. I've brought my babies to a few get-togethers (also invited), and put them to sleep in a bedroom. I would listen closely for them crying, and would soothe them as soon as they fussed. I think the friend is ride for allowing a crying baby to interfere with a party. Poor babe was probably miserable, and everyone else was too
    via SophisticatedScreams
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    Qtipsarenice147 I'm a mom. You're NTA. She made a bad decision and then reacted horribly to being very kindly called out on it. Hopefully she comes around and apologizes to ya.
    via Qtipsarience147
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    IllustriousBag8865 NTA. When your baby cries at an event you remove yourself with the baby at least temporarily until it's under control.
    via IllustriousBag8865
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    tortie_shell_meow NTA. She didn't consult The Village about bringing the baby with her before heading over but you're supposed to be providing "Expectations" in writing? What kind of entitlement level is that? No. Really tired of people who have kids just expecting everyone around them to want that in their lives. My best friend has kids and she's 100% upfront about the reality of what it would take/look like for us to go out to the crappy, local boba shop and then let's me have input on if I ca
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    PintSizedKitsune NTA I totally get why she might feel upset, but sleep deprivation and the stress of a baby might be clouding her judgement there. I debated saying ESH, but judging from your post it does sound like you took her aside and didn't go in gums blazing for a public confrontation. Even if it had been a child friendly event, I don't think it's unwarranted to expect a parent to step away with a child to soothe them or calm things down. Y'all were kind for sitting in a room with continuou
    via PintSizedKitsune

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